my dad voted leave and I'm really struggling.

[BrexitentialCrisis]

Today my dad told me to get a grip and to stop worrying because everything will be fine. I reminded him that:

1. We have a government in chaos with an opposition in chaos

1. Jean-Claude junker has indicated that Britain will be presented with very straightened terms once tariffs are negotiated

1. There are serious conversations happening about the break up of the U.K. With independence for Scotland and a unified Ireland.

I'm really struggling to be around him- his arrogance that this is just a blip and that we have made a great decision makes me feel sick. He berated me for signing that petition and called it silly.

He's my dad and I love him dearly but this fucking referendum has driven a huge wedge between us.

[Mooingcow]

As have we. At one point we had two posters and a huge amount of lively debate.

Since the result, we have managed to act like civilised and respectful adults.

If my DH had demonstrated one millionth of the petulance, name-calling, bigotry, racism and absolutely shocking bad sportsmanship I've read here, I'd have been disgusted.

But, having read the threads for a petition after the GE which didn't suit the many it's-only-democracy-if-I-say-so posters, I'm sadly not surprised.

Have we raised a generation that simply cannot handle being denied what they want?

I genuinely worry that this inability to cope maturely with disappointment is being demonstrated so publicly that children will believe it is an acceptable reaction.

[callherwillow]

have we raised a generation that simply cannot handle being denied what they want?

I have wondered idly if this is actually the first time for some that life hasn't gone the way it 'should'.

[rookiemere]

I hardly think it's immature to be a little upset about your nation being plunged into recession.

I live in Scotland and my DH is English, fun times ahead - I have the right surely to be a tad worried about that.

I am from Northern Ireland originally as is DM - she seemed a bit shocked about the whole Irish thing cropping up again, another not unexpected consequence of a Brexit.

I didn't say anything in front of DS about this, other than to express disappointment about the result. I believe that is rather less harmful for him to hear than some of the bigoted language used by my DF.

It's surely also important to teach our DCs that if they believe in something they should fight for it and make sure they vote for it. I was so restrained before the vote I'm now wishing I had done some campaigning for Remain.

I remain outwardly pleasant to my parents. I'm sure the sting of this will lessen in time.

[GingerIvy]

have we raised a generation that simply cannot handle being denied what they want?

This certainly seems to be the case to me, in many instances.

[WillPenn]

OP, I share your anger. Both my parents voted leave, and it was my mum's birthday today so I had to give a ring. I found it hard and refused to talk about Brexit. My husband is German and her two grandchildren are therefore Europeans through and through. We live in the UK and I of course voted remain.

I realize that I should not stop talking to her over this. But I think a lot of the sadness I felt over the last few days was because I have felt in mourning for my parents. I'll never have the same relationship with them again - their vote is a rejection of their own family.

[GingerIvy]

But it's not. They have interests, too, you know. They're older, have different priorities, have different life experiences, so they may vote differently. It doesn't mean they are rejecting their family at all.

People need to stop taking other people's votes so personally. My mum is in her 80s. She has much different priorities to me. I expect her to vote based on what is best for her, just as I would vote on what is best for me. That is the way it should be done. I would never think that my mother was rejecting me or didn't care for me simply because she voted differently. She's her own person, with her own opinions and priorities and I respect that.

[WillPenn]

But Gingerivy you say that people vote according to what is good for them - as individuals. This is what is wrong with society - you have to think about what is for the COMMON GOOD. Capitalism teaches us to be selfish individuals when we need to think more about others.

I would (and have) happily voted for tax increases and for government policies that are not good for me personally, but are generally going to be for the good of a large amount of the electorate. This is why I feel so sad, I suppose, about my parents' decision. They were thinking about no one but themselves.

[WidowWadman]

I today simply left the room when my in-laws started talking about the referendum. I just can't face that conversation, don't want to fall out with them. But I can't just nod and listen either. It's too raw and too personal.

[WalrusGumboot]

But Will, maybe they believed their vote was for the common good. You are only looking at this through your own eyes.

I think Mooingcow got it spot on upthread.

[WillPenn]

Yes I realize they thought it was for the common good - even though my dad is a retired university professor so has basically just shafted all his ex-colleagues who will lose a lot of their research funding as it is from the EU.

Quite a few of my friends' parents asked them how they should vote - on the grounds that they would not be around for that long and the result would have most effect on their children and grandchildren. And this is what I would have done if I was 65 or above now.

[Luckymummy22]

I discovered that my inlaws voted Leave. I've not spoke to them but I've heard not getting interest rates on their savings for years because it's all about us youngsters getting mortgages. They are baby boomers, both retired before 65, multiple holidays a year, etc etc.

They have 3 grandchildren. I underst and my BIL has already had a big argument with them. They know they are unhappy so we will leave it there.

Ultimately it was their decision. However selfish it was. But they need to pay like us all.
I don't think they quite realise it's not just the younger generation that wI'll be poorer. They're going to lose a lot too.

[NoMudNoLotus]

at posters who believe people over 65 should in essence give their vote to their children.

And they say Leavers are prejudiced!!!!

[NoMudNoLotus]

YY to ginger ivy .

What is right for one person is not necessarily right for the next.

[NoMudNoLotus]

And Mooingcow absolutely agree.

The lack of respect and huge amount of entitlement post Brexit is appalling.

[NoMudNoLotus]

And Mooingcow absolutely agree.

The lack of respect and huge amount of entitlement post Brexit is appalling.

[Borisrules]

Before I start... Boris is our dog.....
Democracy has been done and we should accept and move on.

However, before we do, I would like to point out that I have never seen so much racism in this country before. I appreciate it has been a tiny proportion of Brexiters and the vast majority voted for their own reasons, but the racism was palpable like a beat running along in the background. It terrifies me. In fact it terrifies me more than leaving the EU, Boris for PM etc

[GingerIvy]

I think the first step towards sanity (and less division) is to be clear here. There are racist people on both sides of the vote and plenty of racist people that did not vote. I think that repeatedly linking voters for Brexit with racism is not helpful. I know quite a few people that voted for Brexit, and not one of them focused on the immigration issue at all - it was other things that swayed them - and none of them are racist.

Brexit vote does not equal racism. Racism equals racism, whatever their vote or even if they didn't vote at all.

[Borisrules]

I had quite different experience. I asked one person why they were voting leave and they said "because of all the Muslims" 😖
I appreciate this is a tiny minority but it was very real.

[BreakingDad77]

today simply left the room when my in-laws started talking about the referendum. I just can't face that conversation, don't want to fall out with them. But I can't just nod and listen either. It's too raw and too personal.

Similar situation at weekend most of in laws voted including DW who said they felt pressured by them to vote for it (and the £360 on NHS, manage immigration better chestnuts). Part of me would have loved to chat about how leave have backtracked on the issues they were all worried about. We joked about some of the Norwegian countries and being out-out and conversation moved on. I don't want my DC to become as insular as them.

[WillPenn]

I would charlottesara21. Not sure how to get in touch with you off here?

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

This popped up in my Facebook feed earlier, I think it sums up my feelings nicely.

[rookiemere]

That's very good Sinister - I've borrowed it for my FB, the original one about going out and getting pissed together wound me up no end.

[WalrusGumboot]

You know what I think? I think if everyone turned off their TV and radio, and their social media feeds, they could pretty much get on with their lives without all this angst. I'm sure taking and hearing about it nonstop makes people dwell on it more and feel worse. I know that's true of me anyway.

[WalrusGumboot]

*talking and hearing

And on that note I'll take my own advice and sign off! Night all.