my dad voted leave and I'm really struggling.

[BrexitentialCrisis]

Today my dad told me to get a grip and to stop worrying because everything will be fine. I reminded him that:

1. We have a government in chaos with an opposition in chaos

1. Jean-Claude junker has indicated that Britain will be presented with very straightened terms once tariffs are negotiated

1. There are serious conversations happening about the break up of the U.K. With independence for Scotland and a unified Ireland.

I'm really struggling to be around him- his arrogance that this is just a blip and that we have made a great decision makes me feel sick. He berated me for signing that petition and called it silly.

He's my dad and I love him dearly but this fucking referendum has driven a huge wedge between us.

[GingerIvy]

I said no, vote to remain! Remain! Shouted my aunt in the background. So she did, she went and voted remain.

How shit is that? How shit is it that people are voting over such a big issue, not understanding what they are voting for or against?

That's rather pathetic coming from someone who openly admits to ringing up a relative, and basically demanding they go and vote for YOUR choice, rather than months prior taking the time to make sure she had the information available to her to make her own informed choice.

Congratulations. You, who are whinging about people making uninformed vote, just browbeat your relative into making an uninformed vote. I suppose that part doesn't matter to you because they voted remain.

[Helmetbymidnight]

My mother said she didn't care that if voting Leave plunged the country into shit because she wouldn't be around long enough to see it. Her children and grandchildren will but she couldn't care less.

That' horrible. but not usual.

[FarAwayHills]

I am struggling not to respond to a family members posts on FB, celebrating the leave result and wondering 'what all the fuss is about'. Especially as they do not live in the UK or even the EU and will never have to live with the consequences.

[ChuckitintheBucket]

Jesus, are people really not speaking to family members because of this?? I can only think the relationship couldn't have been that good I'm the first place. My DH and DM voted in , I voted out, hasn't changed a thing between us.

[GingerIvy]

It does seem ridiculous. Do they fall apart at every GE, too? People have swung far too much into panic mode.

[FaFoutis]

My dad and his wife voted leave based entirely on the DM. They didn't give a single thought to how it might affect their chidren and grandchildren (DH works in Germany, for example). I can cope with ignorance but the selfishness is difficult to deal with.

[GingerIvy]

For heaven's sake. Their selfishness? Do you understand that regardless of your wishes, they have a right to vote however they feel best??? They are not answerable to YOU!

The people on this thread (and others) that announce that others are selfish and uncaring and irresponsible because they have voted differently are unbelievable.

[FaFoutis]

Personally I would consider the interests of my children when I voted.
I agree it is their right not to. But what does that say about them? Go on, tell me.

[GingerIvy]

It says they voted based on their own opinion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that whatsoever. They are not required to base it on anything that you prioritise. It is THEIR vote, not YOURS. You control your vote, and your vote only.

And you are criticising them for no reason other than you don't like their decision. What does that say about you?

It says you need to grow up and realise that you don't get to decide how other people vote, and the sooner you realise that, the better.

[FaFoutis]

If you calm down a bit you might actually understand what I said.

[GingerIvy]

I did. Trust me. I understood completely.

[SacharissaCrisplock]

I haven't spoken to my family since Thursday night (I said I'd phone on Friday to discuss the results).

My whole family except for me voted leave and I am so pissed off with them. To make it worse they're based in Cornwall which has had so much funding from the EU - you may have seen Cornwall County Council now asking where they're going to get the money from.

Currently we appear to be communicating via Facebook and Twitter with me posting lots of news stories and facts and my mother posting memes about people shutting up and accepting the result.

I am dreading speaking to my parents because I know it will end up in an argument and it's really opened my eyes as to their views on the world (apparently Farage is a man of the people, slimy cockwomble more like).

Sympathies OP, I don't know how to get over the anger/disgust but I'm sure in time the relationship will go back to nearly normal, I think that's what will happen with my family at least.

[GingerIvy]

And I'm completely calm, thanks. Just bemused by people that rattle on about "how dare so-and-so vote that way? Won't they think of the children?"

People vote the way they do for various reasons, numerous priorities, and sometimes on a whim. They still have the right to do so.

More pressing, IMO, is that the government realise that this outcome was a strong indicator that they've been running large areas of the population into the ground, and they need to start thinking more about the best interests of the whole country - Wales, Scotland, more rural areas.

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

My mum comforted me when I was crying on Friday about the result. She voted leave, she admitted she wasn't really thinking about her grandchildrens future in making that decision. I work part time and my employer deals mainly with the construction industry, work has been very quiet since the referendum took hold, I am very worried about if I will lose my job or employment rights. I was hoping my children would have the same opportunities to travel and work and study abroad. Mum was just worried about immigration.

[LittleBearPad]

I understand where you're coming from OP completely. It's crap.

[mumwhatnothing]

I am one of the leave voters and I think some of my family has stopped talking to me. I do not live in the UK or in the EU. I have only been outside of the U.K. For a few years and I intend to return at some point in the future, but my children especially my oldest might choose to go back to the UK within a couple of years. I voted for the future of the country that I wanted them to return to. I was really excited about the referendum and the result made me very happy. I do understand where everyone else is coming from though and wish there were some sort of middle ground available.
Members of my family, in the lead up to the referendum, made sure to ask if I had registered to vote and seemed quite pleased that I had done so. They did not ask how I was going to vote.
After the vote and the results came out I was quite happy, members of my family apart from my parents attacked my choices with some saying I had no right to vote as I did because I was not there to live with the consequences. Some said I should have had a different ballot paper that only had the choice of Remain or Abstain.
I am not going into all the reasons I chose to vote the way I did because they are not the reasons some of you might suspect. I am not racist, bigoted or xenophobic. I do have only 10 GCSEs to my name (I am currently at uni but that doesn't matter) I have always been very poor and felt very left out of politics. But to be told I should not have had a vote or a limited one.....that really upset me. My family have always been very tolerant people and I think I am the only one who voted leave from the immediate family. I don't fully understand why family members who would supposedly fight for your right to say something even if they don't agree with it have suddenly turned on me. It sucks but I will keep in touch as always

PS....Apart from results day I have not been at all over the top about the result and tried to be quite positive about the way forward.


TL:DR. Members of my tolerant Remain family stopped talking to me.

[LilQueenie]

oh come on its not the referendum that caused the rift nor did it cause hostility. People opinions did that when they chose to hate each other for having a difference of opinion.

[EttaJ]

inthebucket indeed. They must have had pretty poor relationships before all this to stop speaking to their own friends/ families over a vote of choice. Special snowflakes all round.

[P1nkP0ppy]

Absolutely so LilQueenie
It's ridiculous that Remainers are disowning their families over the referendum, must have been pretty ropey relationship beforehand to use this as an excuse.

[capercaillie]

Father in law voted leave and is being unspeakably smug about the whole thing. Both his children voted Remain. I've had to unfollow him on social media before I say some things I regret. Sick of his soundbites that don't reflect the complexity of the situation and is now lumping all Remain voters as young (I'm not - I'm over 40...)

[Laquila]

My mum voted Leave, for noble (if naive) reasons, and it makes me alternately sad and furious and that she was fooled into thinking that a) DC would be able to confidently steer us through the result, whatever that was, b) that if DC stepped down then some sort of mythical White knight would appear from the back benches of the Tory party to take over, felling BJ and Gove in his wake and that c) she actually did it because she thought it would mean a better future for her grandchildren.

And I don't give a flying fuck whether anyone thinks I'm a twat for feeling like this - yes, she had the right to vote as she chose, and I have the right to be sad about the decision she made and the reasons for it.

[MurphysChild]

I am struggling at the moment too. My mother voted out for her children and grandchildren, even though she knew my choice before she voted.

Two of her three children voted remain and the third has learning difficulties so voted what she suggested, my father voted leave because he was with my mother, he has dementia. I took them all to fuckin vote!

I am so angry with her, she keeps asking me if I am over it and I keep telling her no, I am still very angry. She says, don't worry what is done is done it will be all ok but she admits she won't be around to see the benefits she thinks there will be, and doesn't know what those benefits will be anyway, but it can't be worse than it is now.

WTAF.

[gunting]

I think if 16-17 year olds were allowed to vote, as they were in the Indyref, then I could be a different story dependent on turnout.

The sad thing is that in 2 years time once we formally leave, the 16-17 year olds that want to remain will be eligible to vote and the 70% of over 65 who wanted to leave will be less.

[massi71]

This will out me but i really dont care. I am in tears over this. I'm pakistani muslim. Born here. A real London gal.

Husband is white english. I voted remain he voted leave.

He is gloating and gleeful about the result. Everything that terrifies me.. he has become. When i bring up what the reality may be he shushes me and tells me to look forward to a bright future?

Really? Back to the days when I was "paki bashed?"

I am at a loss what to say or do.

[rookiemere]

I know that my father has always had racist and anti poor tendencies.

But until the Brexit vote this was restricted to making unpleasant comments and using words that are not acceptable - which I made sure he didn't do around DS.

We also had a few heated discussions around food banks. Apparently no one in the UK needs them, and they are just fiction made up by benefit scroungers.

Before we'd just avoid politics, easy enough to do. But now his nasty views have helped push us into this horrible situation and he seems pleased about it , even though there is a real chance that DH and I lose our jobs. It's very hard to smile and nod.