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Brexit

Gordon Bennett resurfaces like a monster from the swamp

74 replies

claig · 13/06/2016 13:14

Bennett is back. They've rolled him out, they had to, they have nothing left. There were reports that senior Labour people were in tears when they saw the polls. I dread to think of the floods and floods of tears when they hear that Bennett has been deemed their last help and hope.

He has emerged from the lagoon not a moment too soon, wet, slippery, slimy and spouting hot air out of every orifice, creating confusion, queering the pitch, trying to confound the people wth false promises and vain hopes.

He tells us that Brussels may boost jobs, may cut bills and that pigs may fly.

He says, in a line possibly fed to him by a teenage whizzkid on loan from a gubbernerment sink tank

EU immigration is not the problem, illegal immigration is the problem

This is a line that has most probably emerged after a crisis meeting and video conference with the EU Commission and every teenage whizzkid on the parliamentary payroll.

It is intended to stump the people and make them think again. Bennett "cares" as he stomps across the stage and fixes the unfortunate audience with one of his scary stares, a mixture of menace and rage.

He'll jab his finger and intone in a drone some piece of spin that will sink without trace like a sorry stone.

They're desperate, there are "tears" and fears and wails and moans, they are scrabbling for straws, they are on all fours, like dogs chewing at bones.

As the clock ticks, more and more pricks will appear on the stage to browbeat the British people and tell them to behave.

Don't let them fool you, don't let them school you, don't let the EU rule you.

Vote Leave, believe, get some reprieve, give the Establishment the heave.

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TheNaze73 · 13/06/2016 22:56

I'm in however, this was one massive own goal from the remap team. Somebody in the campaign team needs sacking.
We're behind in the polls, what should we do?"
"I know, bring out the most unpopular prime minister in living memory who bought the country to its knees...."
"Cracking idea that, that's bound to be a vote winner"

Whoever sanctioned this is an epic tool. I genuinely think Brexit now could sadly happen

claig · 13/06/2016 23:04

TheNaze73, they had no option. It was Bennet or Eddie Izzard and the teenage gurus couldn't decide which one was worse so in teh end they tossed for it and Bennett was the winner.

Cameron has been begging Labour to help as he has been on the end of non-stop bollockings from the EU Commission, lobbyists and donors and he needs someone, anyone, to get the Labour vote out. Cameron was told that he can't show his face in front of Labour voters because he is about as popular as the plague with them i.e. slightly more popular than he is with Tory voters.

The Remain team all know that Gordon Brown is a cack-handed flop but they have no one better to fool Labour voters and help Cameron out of a hole.

Basically, Remain are saying, "it's Brown or bust" and that is why they are all looking so depressed.

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neonrainbow · 13/06/2016 23:05

Im really confused. Gordon bennett was a real person. What has he got to do with modern politics?

pristinechristine · 13/06/2016 23:09

I'm disappointed you didn't shoehorn in "elite" or "PPE" into your poem.

claig · 13/06/2016 23:11

Newsnight are saying that "Project Fear" is all Remain have got left and I guess that explains why they rolled Gordon Brown out, because there is no one better whose mere appearance on stage can frighten the voters.

Leave is ahead in England and Wales. The BBC's Kisrty Wark grasping at straws "might it be that Scotland pulls England in".

They haven't got a clue, which is why Gordon Brown is their final flourish.

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Stopmithering · 13/06/2016 23:13

Get off your high horse with your claim to be " telling the truth" as if you are somehow more intelligent or have more knowledge than everyone else.
That attitude seriously pisses me right off.

claig · 13/06/2016 23:14

'Im really confused. Gordon bennett was a real person'

Gordon Bennett is an exclamation of something like "Flipping 'Eck", which sums up Gordon Brown to a tee.

'I'm disappointed you didn't shoehorn in "elite" or "PPE" into your poem.'

You're right, I forgot about that, I was amiss to have ignored that vital aspect.

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claig · 13/06/2016 23:15

'Get off your high horse with your claim to be " telling the truth"'

It's called ironic, something synonymouse with Gordon Brown.

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neonrainbow · 13/06/2016 23:17

Ah sorry you were just trying to be clever.

claig · 13/06/2016 23:18

I don't need to try, it comes natural, I was born thatta way

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Stopmithering · 13/06/2016 23:22

Is synonymouse a friend of Dangermouse?

MeAndTheMajor · 13/06/2016 23:23

If I hadn't read more of claig's political whitterings, I'd think she was some sort of Remain double agent. Seriously, nothing could make me less inclined to vote leave!

claig · 13/06/2016 23:23

No one is a friend of Tony Blair, no one is that stupid

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MeAndTheMajor · 13/06/2016 23:24

Rastamouse I think.

claig · 13/06/2016 23:26

MeAndTheMajor , I don't care what anyone votes for. I expect you to know what you want to vote for, I am not trying to convince anyone, I'm just telling it like it is.

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claig · 13/06/2016 23:26

Rastamouse is voting Leave, the last I heard

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MeAndTheMajor · 13/06/2016 23:31

Nah, Rastamouse is pro Europe. He's always going on about making a bad ting good Wink

Easy now

Stopmithering · 13/06/2016 23:32

"I'm just telling it like it is"
No, you're giving your (rather naive and simplistic if you ask me) opinion.
It's not black and white, however much you've convinced yourself that it is.

claig · 13/06/2016 23:36
Grin

'He's always going on about making a bad ting good'

That is his usual approach, but after he read Dennis Skinner's piece in the Morning Star in support of Brexit and listened to Cameron trying to scare pensioners, he has given up on that and decided to get out while the going is good.

"Brown in bed with Brussels: Ex-PM meets Juncker amid desperate ‘Leading not Leaving' bid

GORDON Brown will go to Brussels today for talks about the upcoming referendum with European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker."

www.express.co.uk/news/politics/679317/Gordon-Brown-Juncker-Brussels-support-stay-EU

Brown and Juncker - Laurel and Hardy.

This referendum is comedy gold.

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Stopmithering · 13/06/2016 23:57

Last quick point.
This is only a referendum, not an election.
If the vote is a close split, (which is supect sadly it will be given the public seems to be being massively played by Johnson, Gove etc using this as a way to create a far right Tory faction) the government stands no chance of getting an Act of Parliament through.
Most people seem to think that by voting "Brexit" will mean we actually leave the EU.
Don't be a fool.
There would have to be a huge, say, 85/15 split for the xenophobic isolationists to stand any chance at all.
This referendum is a disgraceful waste of public money and should not be happening.
However, it's surprising how many people of happy to show their true colours, which may be a good thing.
Ones views one way or another are irrelevant.
Fancy poems might make you feel clever, but you're wasting your time and energy.

claig · 14/06/2016 00:12

We won't have to do anything because the EU is about to collapse. When you see them having to resort to using Gordon Brown, you know the end is nigh. It's all over, it's finished. John Cleese has come out for Brexit. As he would say "it is an ex-parrot", a dead duck.

"In apocalyptic comments in an interview with German newspaper Bild, Mr Tusk - who runs Brussels summit for leaders of EU states - said 'no-one could forsee' the consequences of Brexit.

'Why is it so dangerous? Because no one can foresee what the long-term consequences would be,' Mr Tusk said.

'As a historian I fear that Brexit could be the beginning of the destruction of not only the EU but also of western political civilisation in its entirety.'

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3638953/Project-Panic-Eurocrat-warns-Britain-leaving-EU-trigger-end-Western-civilisation.html

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Anna2000 · 14/06/2016 00:20

Claig, I don't think you are real. You are a true REMAINer who is having a laugh, perhaps after enjoying a few too many bottles of English cider. It is not working particularly well, but nice try anyway. Perhaps you should go to bed- it is a working day tomorrow and you'll have a really bad headache.

claig · 14/06/2016 00:25

I am not a Remainer, I am for Brexit. I am having a laugh at Brown and Remain because Brexit are going to win.

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Winterbiscuit · 14/06/2016 09:02

Most people seem to think that by voting "Brexit" will mean we actually leave the EU.

This tactic from the Remain side is, I suppose, trying to put us off voting "Leave" by saying it won't make a difference anyway.

But not voting to Leave certainly isn't going to help us leave the EU if it's a "remain" result. The first step towards "Brexit" is to vote for it and make it clear that's what we want. And if the government doesn't listen to a democratic result I really don't think the British people are going to take it lying down.

OrangesandLemonsNow · 14/06/2016 09:06

Most people seem to think that by voting "Brexit" will mean we actually leave the EU.

I have met many Remainers that think they will get another vote in a couple of years so they can vote leave then if they have changed their mind Hmm

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