Should I complain after a nurse shared my 16-year-old's medical details?

[Midglet]

My 16yr old had an incident this week that required medical intervention. They didn’t want people, even immediate family and close relatives, to know until they had underwent the operation and we respected those wishes. However a theatre nurse recognised their name and before my child was even under anaesthetic, the nurse had texted a distant relative of ours and divulged that not only was our child in for an operation , but the nature of such. The child was in theatre for four hours but within twenty mins of them being taken in the distant relative , who doesn’t have our mobile numbers, then started calling the hospital demanding details of our child’s prognosis and treatment. Thankfully we had been tipped off very quickly as the relative started contacting other family members ( who themselves weren’t aware of the situation until they themselves contacted us to see what was happening) and were able to request staff to refrain from divulging such. After several failed attempts the relative then turned up at the hospital and demanded access to our child, by which point they were out of surgery. The ward staff asked our 16 yr old ( with us present) if they would like the relative to gain access and our child immediately burst into tears with the thought …the relative is particularly difficult at the best of times and the children try to avoid all contact by their own choice . Thankfully again the staff were able to refuse the relative entry into the ward (Although our child is 16 and should have been in the adult wards a lack of beds had resulted in them being housed in the children’s ward with better security) . Anyway I am sitting stewing about the actions of this initial theatre nurse divulging private medical information to a third party . I know this is a huge breach of confidence and I hope such would be a disciplinary if I was to raise a complaint but I don’t know if I should . The nurse is a friend of the relative hence why she reached out and my family are divided as whether to take action as it will cause trouble within the wider family. Hubby thinks I should just forget it to keep the peace but I think the theatre nurse should be made aware her actions were totally unacceptable. I’ve never complained about anything before . Your thoughts would be appreciated !

It is different though because they won't be reporting a family member. They are mot reporting the relative who received the information either, although they did behave badly, making the DH's objections irrelevant.

Ask your husband why he thinks this shit woman is more important than his own child.

It won't be the first time this nurse has done this. Do it for your child and the many other people she's done this to.

@Midglet - previous posters are right - the theatre nurse deserves to lose her job as a result of this - what she did is utterly unforgivable.

I am a retired nurse. Despicable behaviour! Report, complain and you can even inform the NMC which is accessible to the public and for the public and is to hold nursing and midwifery staff accountable for their actions amongst many other guidelines. Who else are they texting about other patients!! Absolutely abhorrent behaviour and should and must be called out. I hope there is no lasting effects for your child.

Please, please report this op. As others have said, the next patient she does this to might be a domestic abuse victim and that could lead to terrible consequences. It is your duty to help prevent this. Put your big girl pants on and do it now.

You absolutely should have a complaint. This is appalling and the nurse would have been completely aware what she was doing was not allowed.
Her actions caused distress and it wasn’t harmless. She should loose her job IMO.

*raise a complaint

She should lose her job. I don't think someone who has done this should be in a position of trust. She can get another job where she does not get access to confidential information and cause significant upset to young vulnerable people and their families.

I really hope your child has the sense to make the complaint themselves if you won't. Without asking for their father's bloody opinion.

Why is your DH "dead against" making a complaint?

What this nurse did is not only against her professional standards, but also the law!

Her actions could have had even worse results if your DD was in the less secure adult ward.

It is very serious that the nurse was proactive in spreading the news about your DC. She deliberately instigated the contact. Which makes me question if she has taken similar actions before.
They, the hospital and staff need a public reminder about this subject.
Please report, for all of us.

Why not? The kid has had medical information shared against his consent and been quite distressed by it.
Find me crass all you want but the kid has emotional damage and should be compensated for it.
Its the nurse who caused the issue that should feel bad not any making a complaint or claim.

Its drummed into you from day 1 in the NHS that breaches such as these are career threatening, there was no excuse for what that person did. If she loses her job following your complaint it's her fault, not yours.
Your dh is a wet lettuce at best. Why on earth would he be against the complaint?

It would be really sad if this nurse was prioritised over a distressed child by their own parent after breaking a law that’s in place for very good reasons.

Or a pushy and disrespectful relative you’ve already admitting to not liking or wanting to spend time with @Midglet

You know you need to put your big girl (parenting) pants on and stick up for your kid. Complain.

It is because of her behaviour that she will likely lose her job
She has gone against everything a nurse should be
reporting is the right thing to do

I commented before but I have to respond to your update.

The nurse absolutely should lose her job, she has breached various legal guidelines and should not be allowed to carry on doing so. She is not fit to be working with people who are in a vulnerable position as she is not trustworthy.

You cannot put her above yourself (& more importantly your child) when you consider what to do. I am already gobsmacked that your husband is not willing to complain.

My post from yesterday which I think is worth repeating.

OP - you don't have to go in all guns blazing demanding sackings and / or financial compensation. It is very likely - pretty much guaranteed - this Nurse will at the least get a reprimand / have to go through retraining (both of which are clearly needed) and worst case possibly lose their job. That's not your decision to make. It's also not your responsibility to act on behalf of those that have gone before or may come after your child in this Nurse disclosing information. There was a breach of confidentiality that has caused great distress to the patient and immediate family. It's at the hands of this Nurse and her alone.

I haven't read the full thread since yesterday afternoon, I presume it's been suggested you contact PALS? Or - my suggestion - get your DH to ask for a meeting with the Ward Manager, the Head of Department, maybe someone you've met in person in your dealings this week and explain what has happened face to face. Face to face you should both see from their reaction just how serious this breach of confidentiality is.

One of our children has been through a lot, been out of school etc.

I would urge you to SHOW your child with your actions that you are horrified that this happened. If you don't report it, you are sending the message to your child that you are not really that bothered by it. Their feelings will be affected by what you do, not just what you say. And being able to say to them "well I wanted to report it but your dad said no" is not always enough for them to really feel you have their back. The only way for your child to really feel supported by you, validated, like you really give a toss, is to report it.

My son still talks about the day I went into school with him and refused to leave him until I could talk to SLT. Your actions, not just your anger, are needed to make this ok for them.

@Midglet Sorry but I'm still not convinced this is true. I don't know any parent who would put concern for a nurse they have never met over the rights of their own child yet this is apparently what both you and your husband are doing.

This nurse does not need to be told she acted inappropriately. She already knows. What will a slap on the wrist from management achieve? Anyone who abuses patient trust like this does not deserve to be a nurse. She should lose her job and it's not on you if she does.

As both a parent and a nurse, I urge you to lodge a complaint.

How sad that your husband wants to shut you up for a quiet life. Where is the thought, my child was distressed and I need to show I have their back??

Definitely report it. It’s a complete breach of patient confidentiality and totally unacceptable on so many levels. That’s disgraceful behaviour from anyone, nevermind a healthcare professional. Hope your 16 yo is ok x

I hope its not true because if it is its quite upsetting and disgusting behaviour tbh. The husband is as bad as the nurse and aunt and OP is enabling it all.

Please, please report. You only need to state the facts.
If she didn't hesitate to contact your relative without even saying hello to you or your child, who knows what far worse things she has done and will continue to do.

Exactly. It isn’t like it was a slip of the tongue in a conversation (which in itself isn’t great!!) - she actively went about sending a text to someone.

You should definitely make a complaint!
@Midglet if it eases your conscience any about “you” being the cause of the nurse losing her job, you might find a colleague or several have already made the report! & she could lose her job anyway.

to be clear, the nurse has taken the action that means she should lose her job. Not anyone reporting her!!

you have a teenager!
you need to advocate for them, and only them. You are looking for a relationship with your teen for the rest of your life!

presumably the great aunt is considerably older than you teen (& you) & might fall off her perch sooner rather than later!!

maintain the relationship with your child. Don’t let them turn around in 5/10 years time and blame you for not being a responsible parent and taking appropriate action.

report the nurse.