Advice really appreciated- finding a neighbours relative!

[Sammy834]

Hey everyone

this Is pretty random but I wonder if anyone can advise or have been in a similar situation

we have a neighbour who is in hospital, end of life care which is incredibly sad. We or the hospital have been unable to locate the only relative we know she has which is a brother- and so we have been designated next of kin. Is there any way we can find him with limited details :(

literally any advise is welcome

thanks so much

Tricky - Social media in the local groups if you know where he’s living/has lived?
“Seeking contact details of John Smith, brother of Gladys Smith last known address” type of message?

Have you access to her house to look for an address book? My older relatives all had one!

Look through her paperwork for contact details of anyone.
Ask everyone she knows
social media
does telephone directory stil exist? If you have his name

Free subscription to Ancestry for 14 days.

There are loads of varibles here.

Are you in the UK?

Do you have a full name or middle initial?

How old is the brother likely to be?

How common is the name?

Do you have any other information - like last known location or country or wheter they had a job? Is the end of life relative able to communicate or not?

Most people can be tracked down using the internet in one way or another but it depends on things like:

their age - very elderly people may have no information on the internet at all and will have retired before they had any kind of public profile.

how unusual their name is John Smith will be almost impossible to find, Alexander de Pfeffel less so

whether they have done anything that has a public record - company director is the most obvious one, but many professions have public directories.

If you can identify anyone they knew or were close too (best friend, old school mate, best man at wedding) another avenue is to look for these people to see if you can contact them.

If you have a good photo of their face you could also try Pimeye which is a startlingly accurate facial recognition website but you are likely to have pay to find exactly where the images are if you have any hits

Thank you all for your responses!! We have so far tried Facebook etc but the problem is we believe her brother is likely very old. We don’t even know where he lives, we just have a name :( we have no access to the ladies property or paperwork, she’s unable to clearly communicate. And it’s all very sad. Doing our best but we have had no leads whatsoever

it’s such a difficult situation with very limited details.

To add , yes we are in the uk xx

This is sad and it’s good of you to be making this effort. Do you know her date of birth, @Sammy834 ? Was she ever married? It might be possible to find her on Ancestry and work backwards from some of these details.

Another thought just came to me - is she old enough to have been alive in WW2? There was a 1939 register taken - a sort of ‘snapshot’, not exactly a census - and if she was a small child then and living with her family, her brother might also have been listed. Could possibly throw up a name…

Have you ever seen the brother? Is he someone who has been in regular touch, visiting etc, or is he someone who may not have had contact in the last 20 years? Might he be dead too? Has your neighbour spoken about him or you know because the hospital staff said it’s in her medical records?

Does no one have a key to the property so you could check for an address book? Did she have regular carers before her hospitalisation? If so, the agency might be able to help, either with keys or she might have told a regular carer some useful details about her family.

GP's normally ask for details of NOK. Her GP practice couldn't give it you if they have it, but they could contact him for you.

hey all thanks so much for your kind and helpful responses!

the gp has no next of kin down and neither do the hospital on any medical records. We do know her age, I’ve tried ancestry but nothing! Electoral register but can’t locate and birth details. We know her brothers name but that’s all, I’ve tried Facebook but we have never seen him, just heard about him briefly so we can’t identify him on fb. No other family has been mentioned and she’s never been married, so we are at a loss of what to do next :(

she never had regular careers before being admitted to hospital, unfortunately she has been battling cancer and it got to the point where a descision had to be made to get her help as she can be very stubborn. And so fire brigade and ambulance called for a rescue mission. It’s hard to ask her questions now as well as she is so unwell and confused

it’s very heartbreaking and just hope someone will get in touch!! :(

Housing association if she is in social housing? May have taken down nok details. Social work?

She’s a council tennant but yes it may be worth asking , thank you!

You sound lovely to be putting yourself out for a neighbour, but I think maybe if she’s estranged from family, that the last thing she’d want if she’s feeling so ill is unwanted relatives turning up!
Most people are no/low contact for a reason after all.

Yes I agree @user7529706387 it’s sad we can’t even ask her now, we don’t know how close she is with her brother but we know they have contact and she asked for him a few days ago. He seems to have a very common name and without more info we are finding it impossible :( it would be heartbreaking if we are unable to locate him xx

Does she have a will - maybe a solicitor?

is there no address book with friends who might know?

what a terrible shame.

its great you are trying to do this though

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice xx

What about putting an appeal out of local radio? If you have his name and hers, then it would identify the person.

We are unable to gain access to her property at the minute so we can’t get hold of any other info. Hopefully we can soon but we don’t want it to be too late @girlwhowearsglassesx

Is there no way you can get her house keys? I'm guessing she'll have a mobile phone or a landline with an address book.

How and who has made you next of kin? Simply by being her neighbour and calling for assistance?

Does he live in the local area? Elderly people are more likely to get the local newspaper - could you put something in the paper to say "looking for Elsie Smith's brother, John Smith, please call us urgently if you know him"

Names of living people are redacted from the 1939 register (a small number are left in error) so although you might find her parents you are unlikely to find a living sibling.

@Expatornot the hospital have made my mum next door f kin as she’s the one been keeping an eye on her the last week during a few incidence. The lady has given my mums name and the hospital have made her next of kin until a relative can be found x