"Adult baby" has a baby now - WWYD?

[QuokkaInSpace]

A long time ago, I knew someone who confided in me that he had a thing for pretending to be a baby and wearing nappies. He thought it was a rare but acceptable fetish - just embarrassing.

Needless to say, I didn't see it the same way and we are no longer in touch.

Today I discovered he is now the father of a little one.

I feel very conflicted. Does his partner know about his paraphilia? Has he sought therapy to address it?

If my partner was sexually attracted to infancy, nurseries, baby things, etc. -- I would want to know about that, ideally, before we had a child together. Wouldn't you?

Mumsnetters, what would you do in this situation?

[yellowclover]

I don't understand this to mean that abuse against a child would be any more likely. Do you think it does? It doesn't seem connected to me at all. Pretending to be a baby seems to be about being completely taken care of and having no control or responsibilities?
Maybe I'm wrong but it doesn't sound predatory.

[FlawedHumanBeing]

Him having his own baby isn’t necessarily a risk, it’s more that they want to be /act like a baby, not that they themselves are attracted to children.

Paraphilic infantilism may be linked to masochism, urolagnia, garment fetishes or other kinks, however it is not to be confused with pedophilia, as people with this fetish are not attracted to children and do not seek them as sexual partners.

[EthicalNonMahogany]

My DH finds it erotic when I dress as a maid, but isn't going to sexually assault the cleaner.

[Ohdearwhatnow4]

Agree with Ethical although my DH has other preferences.

[vix3rd]

I'm failing to understand why this is any of your business ?

[Boomboom22]

Irrelevant. Weird yes, linked to paedophilia no.
I thought you meant with the mind of a baby.

[QuokkaInSpace]

For more information, for those who might be confused, he is an "AB/DL". He wanted to be treated like a baby, had fantasies about being a baby and being sexually abused, and would break into nurseries and steal nappies for masturbation.

And yes, there are cases of overlap between paraphilic infantilism, diaperism, and pedophilia. A man can start with one and over time seek new, more egregious stimuli.

The concern is safeguarding.

[SurvivingCPTSD]

@QuokkaInSpace

For more information, for those who might be confused, he is an "AB/DL". He wanted to be treated like a baby, had fantasies about being a baby and being sexually abused, and would break into nurseries and steal nappies for masturbation.

And yes, there are cases of overlap between paraphilic infantilism, diaperism, and pedophilia. A man can start with one and over time seek new, more egregious stimuli.

The concern is safeguarding.

Edited

I absolutely agree with you this has gone beyond a fetish and is a safeguarding concern. Very worrying.

[WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself]

The thing you’re describing isn’t a fetish
its age regression which is a therapy for trauma
stop making this something it’s not so you can judge these vulnerable people

[WandaWomblesaurus]

@WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself

The thing you’re describing isn’t a fetish
its age regression which is a therapy for trauma
stop making this something it’s not so you can judge these vulnerable people

Nonsense.
Read the above post.

[NotesApp]

would break into nurseries and steal nappies for masturbation.

Quite the drip.

[scaredofff]

The thing is, no, it's not your business and he has potentially has lots of continued therapy
But you just don't know
And how do you even start that conversation with him, or her .......

[EasterFlower]

When this person was breaking into nurseries for nappies (what was wrong with the ones you can buy in the supermarket, by the way?) did you report his crimes to the police OP?

[PosterBoy]

Of course he did

Silly night time poster person!

[QuokkaInSpace]

@EasterFlower

When this person was breaking into nurseries for nappies (what was wrong with the ones you can buy in the supermarket, by the way?) did you report his crimes to the police OP?

No, I didn't. When he told me that, it was something he had done previously in his home country. There was nothing I could report to the authorities at that time.

[QuokkaInSpace]

Thank you to those who have taken the time to try and understand the issue. It's a very delicate situation, I know, but a concerning one, which is why I asked for advice. It's not the sort of thing you can just strike up a conversation about.

We still have friends in common. If there wasn't a child involved, I would never consider bringing it up, but given the circumstances, perhaps that's the best course of action?

[bigbish]

@WellIdontknowwhattocallmyself

The thing you’re describing isn’t a fetish
its age regression which is a therapy for trauma
stop making this something it’s not so you can judge these vulnerable people

Stop enabling this disgusting behaviour.

The man wanks over nappies.
The man gets an erection at the thought of being a child. So if a child is around him, he wishes to be them. He possibly has thoughts of 'I want to be that baby / toddler'

There is an overlap.

Can't believe some of the replies on here! Not comparable to liking a maids outfit!

[bigbish]

If the man wants over nappies I certainly wouldn't want my young child around him. Wearing the very think he masturbates over.

He sounds utterly grim.

[Dustyblue]

Oh vey 🙄

The OP gave me a flashback to a Dr Phil episode featuring a man with an infant-fetish, he appeared with his girlfriend. They were planning a baby. Dr Phil pointed out she'd then have 2 babies and the 1st one might not like it!

But yeah... nappy stealing? Whole other level.

[ItWasTheBestOfTimes]

The replies to this are mad. There is no way I would let someone with an adult baby fetish be anywhere near my own DC unsupervised. And I would massively question the judgement of any parent who thinks it’s fine and no different to any other fetish.

[Mojodojocasahaus]

Did they now? Quite a drip feed op

[lesserspotted]

how can you break into nurseries to steal nappies? What makes you think he does this - that sounds highly unlikely

[FrogSplash]

@QuokkaInSpace

For more information, for those who might be confused, he is an "AB/DL". He wanted to be treated like a baby, had fantasies about being a baby and being sexually abused, and would break into nurseries and steal nappies for masturbation.

And yes, there are cases of overlap between paraphilic infantilism, diaperism, and pedophilia. A man can start with one and over time seek new, more egregious stimuli.

The concern is safeguarding.

Edited

Well that escalated quickly.

[QuokkaInSpace]

@lesserspotted

how can you break into nurseries to steal nappies? What makes you think he does this - that sounds highly unlikely

I'm sorry to go into graphic detail. I tried to be discreet with my original post. Unfortunately, people didn't seem to be aware of what calling oneself an adult baby can involve and the severity of it.

From what I understand these were part of public facilities - churches and schools - he had access to. He was a young adult at the time. I have no reason to believe he would lie to me about this. While I wouldn't say he was ashamed, he was at least sheepish in confessing to this behavior.

Does anyone have any experience alerting a family to warning signs of their DH/DF? Or making them aware of behavior DH/DF had done without their knowledge? Very unsure what can be done here.

[RedHelenB]

@NotesApp

would break into nurseries and steal nappies for masturbation.

Quite the drip.

Couldn't he just go to a shop? Nurseries are quite hard to break into.