Would you have intervened? I like to think I would have been brave enough....

[ettieb]

I was on a tube train in London at the weekend and there was a chap who obviously was suffering from severe mental health /addiction issues and was abusing other passengers. He particularly targeted a couple opposite him who were middle aged, he was shouting at them about God and then called the woman vile and ugly and kept shouting at her and asking her why she was wearing a mask. Everyone just pretended everything was fine and ignored him. He then got up and moved over to a young woman who was sitting in the seat next to the door, he was shouting in her face, she got up and started moving away and he went to follow her. She was obviously frightened. A middle aged woman then blocked him from the young woman and asked him why he was shouting at her and could he see she was scared. He then started shouting at the woman who intervened and was telling her to mind her own business , after a bit of shouting she told him to get off the train - to my surprise and I suspect the other passengers he got off the train. I was full of admiration for the woman who had intervened when everyone else was ignoring the situation, she put herself in a potentially dangerous situation on behalf of a stranger. I was at the other end of the carriage but could have moved over to help the young woman.... I really like to think that if no-one else had intervened, that I would have done something but I'm truthfully not sure that I would have been brave enough. I am aware of the term 'the bystander effect' and this was an example of this. Somebody expects someone else to resolve a situation (I'm including myself in this). Would you have intervened?

You have to assess each situation on its merits, but as long as he wasn't brandishing a weapon I would have tried something. I wouldn't necessarily have confronted him, but may have approached the young woman to offer support or try to remove her from the situation or shield her if I could.

If this was my young adult daughter on the receiving end I'd like to think someone would offer her some help.

I would have got involved.

I have intervened in numerous incidents over the years because I instinctively can't help myself.

But I do understand people being worried about people having a weapon and getting hurt themselves.

And it's just not in some people's nature to be able to deal with conflict.

But I've ended up frustrated in situations where I have intervened initially but haven't received any back up from people afterwards.

Don't beat up yourself OP, it was a difficult choice to make. We'd all like to say we'd jump in and intervene, but can we know for certain until we are in such a situation?
I think I would have intervened, partly because a) many others were there and I'd have expected them to back me up and b) in my job I sometimes deal with very challenging abusive people and I'm sort of used to standing up to them.
However if it was a massive 6'4" bloke looking like he was about to hit someone, I'd probably opt for calling 999 and getting other passengers to come up alongside myself to intervene.
It's all just guessing though. For all know, I could have pooped my pants 😂

I think none of us can say how we’d have behaved unless we were there. It just depends on so many variables. Sometimes I’ve been brave in a way I couldn’t comprehend afterwards, (adrenalin maybe?) and at other times paralysed by fear in lower risk situations.
We all make tiny subconscious risk assessments based on our past experiences.

Sometimes I have intervened, but in situation you're describing I probably would have remained watchful rather than intervened. Yeah I think each of those people being pestered could have stood up for themselves. They chose not to & other than him shouting & verbal nuisance what did he actually do to them ... oh well, it didn't cross my threshold for needing to intervene.

I have ran outside with no shoes on to tackle a man dragging a woman in the street, don’t know what came over me I just didn’t think, just had to make sure she was ok.

Although weirdly I’ve only just remembered the above thanks to these stories, what I do think about often is when I was sitting at the back of a packed bus while a vile man was trying to get a woman to move so he could swap seats with her for no other reason than he wanted to sit there - he was so out of order and she did stick up for herself but I was just so ashamed of all the rest of us passengers for not speaking up for the lady and agreeing she was not wrong and he was a prick. She was obviously so uncomfortable she needed our support. Genuinely still mad with myself about it…

I think I would. I have done in the past.

I’ve done exactly this on a bus when no one else did anything. Poor young woman was so grateful.
Supermarket car park- 2 men with road rage. Shouting and escalating. I was scared but went over and shouted from a distance to stop. One took the opportunity to get in his car and go. I was shaking.

On a coach 2 men arguing across me. Decided I couldn’t put up with it and told them both to sit down and be quiet. Amazingly they did!

Im not in anyway brave nor string do I have no idea why I have done it previously. The young woman because I would want that for my daughters.

It’s so sad that everyone in the carriage didn’t pull together to protect the ones who were targeted. Why does that not happen? I’d like to think I’d be brave but would be terrified.Really admiring of PPs who have stood up for others.

Yes I would have intervened. Maybe it's because I'm a retired police officer that I fee it's ingrained in me and it's a natural reaction. On holiday in Sydney in November, at a tram stop, a very elderly Asian couple who didn't speak much English at all were being shouted at and racially abused by a drunk man. The drunk man was across the tram tracks but I left my place at the other stop and made my way over (dragging my aunt with me, retired nurse, so maybe in her nature too) I asked my aunt to sit beside the female and try to talk to her, smiling, so she maybe felt safer and not alone and I stood beside the man, I put my hand on his shoulder and said it's ok and the abuse worsened, so I ended up standing in front of both of them blocking the vision from the abuser. Had the abuser approached I would have quite happily blocked him from getting to the couple.

I've stepped in to break up fights, drunken disputes, calmed down heated arguments and physically moved people to get them away from further conflict, although my mouth gets me out of dodgy situations quite easily as I have a calm manner, I also have what my 19 year old calls 'mums police voice', and he says when I use that then everyone does as they are told.

I'm often apprehensive in these situations but my desire to stop people hurting others or being hurt (by words or physically) over roses that fear

Some people are heroes. Never forget reading about a young lad who fell / jumped off one of the London bridges. A young woman nearby shouted “why is nobody doing anything” and jumped in after him. Really stuck in my mind. She was rescued the boy drowned but what a woman.

My dad used to step in and as a teen it led to some mortifying situations but proud of him really.

''@ironhelp

If you pull the emergency alarm, doesn't it stop the train immediately and that Would actually confine you in with him.''

Common sense please.

You are ''confined with him'' already. You are on a tube carriage with that person.

The point is not to stop the train immediately, it is for it to be investigated at the next stop (which on tubes is always only a few minutes away) where you can get out and staff can come to investigate.

And by the way I have been verbally abused a few times on the tube and trains by people, usually by men twice my size.

I always stood my ground and answered back but not once did anyone step in to help me...

@Greenfairydust when on the tube it clearly states if you feel unwell, do not pull the emergency alarm as this will stop the train immediately. Wait til the next stop and get off and ask for help

I have in the past not confronted the aggressor but have gently shielded yhe target and got off the train with her at the next station where we alerted staff at the platform.

The best intervention was the bloke that attacked the terrorist with the Narwhal spear.

@ironhelp

Going around in circles...

If you pull the alarm and the carriage happens to be in a tunnel it will continue until the next station where things will be investigated. It won't stop in the tunnel.

So:

-If you are already at a station platform and pull/press the alarm the carriage will remain on the platform so that the reason for triggering the alarm can be investigated.

• If you are in a tunnel and press the alarm the driver will continue the journey until the next station where the reasons for triggering the alarm will be investigated.

Again, the system is based on common sense...

I wouldn't no, but I'm a youngish woman with a small child at home that I need to be there for. I would expect those in the carriage with more presence about them to be able to stand up and defend the victim though. It's instances like this where men need to step up and show they support women instead of being all talk, crimes against women will never change unless men take a stand too.
I would have probably text the British transport police though so they could be waiting at the next stop.

@ironhelp woah that's out of order, green is just clearly explaining to you, not being a cunt at all. Totally unreasonable to call her names for taking the time to explain to you.

@WedonttalkaboutMaureen you can explain something to someone without saying "common sense please"

Yeah and you can reply and say that without calling someone a cunt. You wouldn't do that in real life if having a bit of a tiff with someone would you?

Not the same situation but I have intervened twice when I saw a teenager being beaten up by a group of other teens.

One night my husband intervened when a young police officer was surrounded by a threatening gang. People hurried by. Disabled husband, he'd have been in his 60s I suppose and on a walking stick, walked over and stood next to him and said something like, "You're not on your own son." Reinforcements soon arrived. DH is a retired police officer, disabled as a result of an incident when he was on duty. I felt very proud of him but I admit I didn't walk over to join him.

Most people will have people at home who need them too. That includes men as well. All anyone can do is decide, or act on impulse in these situations. Or we can all sit there hoping someone else will take that risk.