Dh and I are separated after 25 + years and 4 x dc for about 9 months now.
He did something which was a deal breaker for me and went to live at his mums .
Its a long story and I wont go into it now unless I need to , but he was always an amazing daddy . I couldn't have wished for a better father.
When we split he was on a huge downer and didn't contact the dc for weeks/ months. However I persevered and always arranged contact myself and he thanked me for that recently .
It turns out he has a gf now ,
I cant call her gf because we are still married and he knows I want to work through this now but he is in love ? ( he knew her 3 weeks prior to announcement and tbh I still think he is lying ).
He is not the man or dad we knew .
Contact was better but always always instigated by me.
He never answers his phone to the dc- esp if dd as she is only 4 and we use my phone . However I always texted first and said xxxx is about to call but still he wont answer.
After a few months of much crying ( inc Xmas day ) dd and ds don't try calling him anymore.
I had a conversation with him twice recently about calling her regularly and he promised me he would and sounded sincere.
He still hasn't.
They honestly had the best closest relationship I could ever wish for prior to our split and he is losing that relationship rapidly.
I asked him if he would take her recently to a hospital apt as id taken so much time off work to look after dc who had all been ill and had various health complaints which required hospital appointments .
I had taken her to 9 appointments. Anyway he point blank refused ( I also have a demanding and prof. job ).
At the said appointment surgery was arranged , only minor, but weve got a bed booked at short notice for the end of this week.
Now ive told him several times that im not begging him to see the dc anymore he needs to do it himself. He still hasn't.
I haven't handed dd the phone and called daddy for 2 weeks now ( usually at least 10-20 failed calls texts ect then he calls us back ).
because I have stuck to what I said for the first time they have had no communication what so ever and he has no idea she is booked for surgery.
Im sorely tempted to just go ahead and tell him afterwards that she is out of surgery and all is well .... I know I prob shouldn't and wont because he is her daddy and we all love him and it would be wrong.
Should I call him AGAIN and let him know, or sod it and leave him to ask how she is when he finds time ?
( This isn't him normally btw he is a changed man who has broken my heart ).
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Ethical dilemmas
Do i tell DH ( separated ) that dd is having surgery on Thur s?
10 replies
Throughthestorm · 13/01/2015 19:00
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.