do i stay in my damp cold expensive house or lie through my teeth so my kids can have a nice home??

[bellarose2011]

just looking for some advice really, i am a single mother to 2 DD, 10 months and 2yrs.
we currently live in a 3 bed semi detatched house, it has an old back boiler which makes the gas bills huge yet we are still always freezing. the garden is a vertical hill (literally!) there is mold growing on the kids bedroom wall. the double glazing doesn't work and there is puddles of water on all the windowsills every morning. i hate it!!
in the area i live there is a shortage of social housing and my name is on all council/housing association lists. my only hope is a house from an estate agents. but of course they won't accept DSS.
now i get my housing benefit paid to me so there is no reason i need to disclose this other than it being dishonest. but i know i would be a great tenant, i have never not paid my rent, i'm a clean freak and have no pets.
i have found a perfect house that i can afford and have the application form in front of me, i know i won't get it if i tell the truth. i have a friend who runs her own business and would say i worked for her. i just don't know what to do??
the eatate agents use MARAS, will my bank tell them where my funds come from?

INOB, then she is damned if she does and damned if she dont.

She won't be allowed that come March, one extra room is 14% of your rent you have to pay as you don't need it, 4 is 25%.

If she got a job and got the house she wants legally (it is illegal to lie on a contract) then it would be a win win. And the nursery job was so she wouldn't have to leave her baby (which she said she can't do). I know plenty of nursery workers who get free hours when they work.

I will judge and feel no sympathy if someone put themselves in a situation with dc where they could be made homeless at the drop of a hat when there are alternatives. You have dc your job is to house them, feed them and nurture them, if you don't want to do that then you shouldn't of had dc.

I get what your saying about the nursery job, but unless op has experience/wants to work with children, then (a) getting a nursery job with some free childcare will be extremely hard to get impossibe, if there are any at all, and (b) not everyone is cut out to work with children. I have two kids but id rather be on the bones of my arse than work with other peoples kids, wouldnt be good for me and definitely wouldnt be that great for the children neither.

brandy can you explain the 14% thing to me please? where i live HB is calculated according to need. i have 2 dcs aged 7 and 3 of the same gender so i get the LHA rate for a 2 bedroom property. the house i rent is 3 bedroomed but i dont get any more than the 2 bedroom allowance. are you saying that i will have to pay money back to the housing executive (NI) for the extra room? why? and is it 14% of the actual rent of the house or 14% of the HB amount?

sorry for thread hijack.

HB is changing, it will all be universal credit very soon and you will be penalised for every extra room your not entitled to if you claim any amount of HB. Even foster carers will be affected when they have a empty room waiting for placement. The only people not affected by the % of rent and rooms is disability.

Its 14% of the whole rent.

OP, don't do it.
Big, deliberate lies are never OK.
Your kids are very young.
the next few years might be tough.
Stick in there.
Get a job as soon as you can.
Work hard
Earn your own money.
You'll be a worn out wreck like the rest of us but you can hold your head high

IMO if your a single mum and you need to work to support your dc and put them in a decent house a job should be a job to do that and not a career titty. No matter even if it was cleaning the dog shit bins it would be better then nothing.

I also would hate to work in a nursery but I am not saying I can't leave my dc either. It was just one example of a job she could do (where they train you on the job) that she wouldn't have to leave them. I'm sure if I put any thought into I could think of more ideas, but the OP wouldn't want to do them anyway.

Do it.

If they find out and you don't get the house, you're no worse off than you are now.
If they find out after you've got the house and let you stay, you're better off than you are now.
If they find out after you've got the house and evict you, the council will HAVE to house you and you'll probably be better off than you are now.

... or am I missing something?

how is it being justified brandy? if people are only receieving enough for 2 bedrooms how can the govt take money off them for an extra room? i dont understand the logic behind this? surely it is up to the person renting whether they want to pay the extra rent themselves?

yes, you are missing something.
You are missing that it involves big, planned lies

Hello Dude,

This website has info relating to benefit changes in NI

www.housingadviceni.org/

The logic behind it is everyone who claims any benefit are scum, stories like this are spread everywhere so everyone is to busy being disgusted about benefit lifestyles and don't pay any attention to the massive tax break the top richest people got in the country today.

They are also stopping homeless people being priority on the council lists instead working married family's will be encouraged to the top of the list.

thanks grace.

Holla, I'm pretty sure what you're missing is that, by lying about this and ending up being evicted by her Ll, the op will be considered by the council as having made herself intentionally homeless. If they can find a way to avoid having to house someone as an emergency, they will.

Don't make it easy for them, op.

i've read that link. i dont see anything that explains why this penalty is due? i dont understand how it is anything to do with the govt if someone decides to pay the extra rent themsleves. why are they (we) to be penalised for that? it isn't a crime!

How is it that people are entitled to be paid to stay at home? The people paying for this to happen are often forced to go out to work themselves when they don't want to because their partners are paying tax to people who feel it's their choice.

If you aren't prepared to do what's necessary to look after our family ithout relying on others you should think twice before joining that world. It is a hard world and it's harder when you have children. Many people find it so. Many people want to stay at home and can't afford to, many want to have mroe children and can't afford to and these same people are funding others to think it' stheir right to do it with other people paying.

We got treated like criminals. For DH claiming from March-August and not being available for work whilst our child laid in hospital 1.5 hours by car in good weather and a £30 minimum drive away. You couldn't use public transport for her extreme infection risk. The closest hospital to treat her was that far away.

Not because we didn't want to leave our two children, one of whom is still under 5, with strangers, but because our child was suddenly, life-threateningly ill. She was diagnosed 25/11/11 and then we had to wait 3 months to even claim DLA and my Carer's Allowance. I'd have dumped them with a caring wolf and practically did. Now, she's dead.

We never lied or hid assets. We declared money we had from strangers to pay for her funeral and headstone. The total cost of both is about £3600. Believe me, I'd rather starve than have a penny of that if it meant she lived.

Now, we are under-occupying, and DH is back at work on NMW. This is a very rural area, where full-time work is extremely hard to come by and we have one car, you have to run one with a clean license in order to get more jobs over 16 hours/week. So come April, we'll need to make up the difference in the rent that comes with only being entitled to a two-bed because our child died.

But no lies! We've found out about may be a way through Gumtree, to move closer to towns and cities for more work for both of us. We'll not be lying, we have no guarantors, no parents with a big converted house, no FA.

We will be on partial HB and possibly full till we are having work.

Our children, one who just turned 4, are fucked up by their sister's loss and the year that preceded it. She died a horrendous death from cancer.

I'm not lying to some landlord and find our children homeless unless absolutely necessary. I'll tell him or her the entire truth and if he can't see we've worked, can work as we are fit for it, and will work for what comes his way, then he can look elsewhere, but I'm not risking the roof over my two children's heads for lies.

We want to start over. A nice flat in a good area between Gourock and Glasgow, and we are willing to work away for it. We have the bond and the first 6 month's rent, courtesy of my father's pension, same as bella has a place to go if she's homeless.

But apparently, that makes me bitter because I don't want to be sat at home when I'm able-bodied.

Oh, Brycie, that would be dumping them with strangers!

Hey, it's all good, you're entitled to claim till your youngest is 5. That's not the point.

The point is that you're lying and your very foolish friend might lie for you.

Your lookout, but if I were in that rural area and missed out on that house for my two kids whilst I was out scraping coach windscreens at 6AM at 4 below and you were sat at home and I knew you were lying, I'd shop you in a second.

And don't think they won't.

I'm no friend of most BTL landlords, but I'll find out how to contact them and tell them the truth because it means the roof over my kids' heads. I'd rather they know it and make their own judgement than lie. 'I can pay you 6 months. I'm coming off a bad bereavement but I'm here to get work and I'll do anything. And btw, do you know anyone who needs a cleaner or maid to work, a sitter, a pet walker or pet sitter, a night babysitter if you can allow?'

You charge cheap and they'll come till you build up a rep.

It's hard times we're in, but it is how it is.

expat what happened to you and your family is the reason the whole benefits system make me so angry.
It's outrageous, the way you were treated, without any compassion or understanding.

Your situation is what the benefits system should be for. For people in a place most people can't even imagine and IMHO if anyone was entitled to help at that time it was your family.
It makes me feel sick that they treated you like criminals.

I hope that you are getting through it, my heart goes out to you, DH, and your DCs. I think of you often and still have my green candle in the window for your lovely Ailidh.

I do not have a problem with the benefits system being readily and easily available for people who need it and I would have been a lot more sympathetic to the op had she not been quite so vocal about her opinions of working mothers dumping their children with strangers and that being an option for her.
Op, yes you and your children are certainley more than entitled to a good standard of living. A decent place to live, warm, etc. you don't have to live in an overcrowded flat or a cold house.

You obviously did not decide to have 2 children and sit back and rake in the money as long as you could.
But the problem I have is this. From my experience with job seekers allowance, you don't get a huge amount of money, you don't get a cushy life, enough money to live like a queen. You get enough to get by, to cover basic needs.
Now, if for the moment, that is ok because your priority is being at home for your own reasons then that is your choice. It is a choice.
But if you feel the positives of you being at home outweigh the negative aspects no one can tell you any different because no one but you can decide what's right.
However, you then have to accept the decision you have made.
And understand that, by making that decision, there are things, like this house that are not available to you.

It's not available to you because of the choice you made.
I would imagine this is unintentional but you are coming across on your posts like you think it's unfair that you cannot rent this house, and because you don't agree with it, you are going to lie.

Life isn't fair. Read expats story. Then you will see just how unfair life is.
We have to live according to our circumstances. And yours are, you cannot rent from the estate agency because you are not working.

So you either go to work, or you get your current LL to deal with the issues at home.

Can you not go on the council waiting list?

Hello expat,
First of all my sincere condolences on the loss of your wee girl.
I just want to say www.housingoptionsscotlsnd.org.uk
May be able to help with your housing situation.
You can pm me if you like for more info

ExpatinScotland I haven't "spoken" to you but I have read your daughter's story, and the problems you were going through with the benefits system couple of weeks ago. I'm very sorry. It's very terrible and unfair. I'm not surprised at your anger. I hope you get the support you need. I agree with what T&B said.

?You all really need to get out more into the real world.?

OP, your statement there is really grating with me, and I think you are the one who need to actually join the real world, and not be like a blinkered Victorian horse.

In the real world people work to support their families, they put them into childcare to ensure they are fed and looked after while they go earn a living that put a roof above their heads. In the real world people dont lie and deceive and plan to put other people deliberately in trouble.

What if there was a fire in your rented dream house? OK for you, you could just move out. The landlord would be up shits creek and might not get anything on the insurance, it would cost tens and thousands to fix, it might invalidate his mortgage. But it is ok for you, because you got a nice house that was cheaper to run and mold free, and could just move on when the flames hit the fans.

Ay Expat, I second what Brycie just said.

I am not against benefits, they are there for people who need them, like you. Not like the op who is an able bodied mother of two who just wants a better house, get money free into her account to fund her life style choice, who wants to lie about her benefits to get a house, and by doing so pose significant risk to her landlord.

expat, such a sad story. There must be things we can all do to help.

I suspect that a move to a big City where there might be more work might help rather than staying in Scotland.

As to the original post those of us who work full time and have children always baulk a bit at benefits claimants saying they could not possibly leave their child because there we are working very hard indeed and handing half back to the state to pay for those who could not possibly wrest themselves away from their precious little darlings.

I never blame anyone who claims that to which they are entitled but this is slightly different. It is whether to lie to an estate agent. Leaving the moral issues aside if you obtain this kind of advantage by deception could that not be some kind of criminal offence? You would not be very present for your children if you were locked away in a jail. Anyway it looks like the housing benefit rules are changing to mean moving to somewhere with more space than allowed will not be allowed anyway.