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Ethical dilemmas

Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

279 replies

Newbizmum · 24/07/2012 01:18

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 25/01/2014 14:14

The only way forward is to consult a solicitor and tell him of your worries that the codicil is not genuine. I think the fact that everything changed a couple of months ago is very suspicious sounding. I think the time for niceties with your brother is over.

VivaLeBeaver · 25/01/2014 14:22

Newbiz, just seen your update and can't believe this is still ongoing. Well done for challenging it though.

You say it could easily cost 50k, can I ask what happens if you're not successful? Do you have to find 50k?

The saddest thing is finding out your brother isn't who you thought he was.

PortofinoRevisited · 25/01/2014 14:35

Why would you spend all this money without going to the Police, OP? This reminds me of another thread where relatives tried to steal someone's inheritance? It was well dodgy. I shall try to find a link.....

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 09/02/2014 18:50

Any further update?

Newbizmum · 21/02/2014 21:58

Hello again, thanks for the well wishes and supportive comments. I'll update as I can and try to answer the questions posed.

We finally have preliminary reports in. Though all reports suggest alternative hypothesis, the strong belief of the forensic team is that there are inconsistencies with the suspect codicil in a number of areas, most of which support what I suspected had been done to doctor it after the event. The final reports should be in around the end of this month. I must then reassess.

Q&A

Funding - self funded unfortunately - no assets frozen - potential collusion from the sibling's solicitor (a whole new can of worms) - yes, if it cost £50k and I lost, I would have to pay that plus potentially a percentage of the other party's costs.

Police - what a joke ! Do you know how you report fraud in 2014 ? You have to do it online. No going down to the police station with your evidence, nope, online and some "pleb" decides if and potentially what action to take.

In cases where there is a civil case outstanding, plod are reluctant to move as the civil case covers most of the legwork they would have to do in any case and no, you can't piggy back on their efforts - tried that one !

Essentially, win your civil case or achieve settlement and then they might intervene but unlikely if you settle. There is another way but I won't publicise it just yet - something of a nuclear option.

The way ahead is more of the same I'm afraid. Decisions on next steps are down to finances but I am looking at insurance, given the potentially damning experts reports. Barrister's opinion around £5k, setting down for trial perhaps another £5k, evidence gathering, interviews, all requiring lawyers to travel and overnight, perhaps another £10/20k and then at trial another £10k plus per day.

Lots of potential opportunity to mitigate and reach agreement which is heavily pushed by the court (and quite rightly given the huge expense otherwise), but when one party has committed fraud, which carries a maximum prison sentence of 10 years but which would likely be 24 months or less, any movement to settle is difficult because it is tantamount to an admission that they did indeed commit fraud.

So all in all, positive news. No response to recent communication from the other side. When reports in, we'll push ahead with one option or another. What is certain is that I will not give up, whatever it takes.

Thanks again for the fabulous support.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 21/02/2014 22:32

I haven't seen your thread before Newbizmum. I really admire your determination in the face of such a horrible situation. The codicil you describe reminded me so much of the fraud awareness training I did a few years ago.

NotJustACigar · 21/02/2014 22:49

Good luck Newbizmum, what a horrendous thing to have to go through but well done for not letting him get away with it.

MerryBuddha · 22/02/2014 08:29

OMG NewBizMum, well done you, your determination is inspiring. Wishing you luck.

Slainte · 22/02/2014 08:39

Delurking to show support to you OP. I remember this thread from when it was initially posted and think of your case from time to time, hoping for the right outcome for you.

Stropzilla · 22/02/2014 08:43

How awful for you. Good luck.

incogKNEEto · 22/02/2014 10:01

I remember your thread from when you initially posted too op, good luck. It sounds like the preliminary reports back up what you think has happened, I really hope that you can reach some resolution with it. Still can't get over what your brother has done, awful thing to do to your family SadAngry

RandomMess · 22/02/2014 10:04

I found out recently that anyone can appeal a will (even one without suspected fraud) and most of the time the courts will modify it!!!

Longdistance · 22/02/2014 10:11

I remember your thread.

Have you gone down the fraud route? Have you reported it as such, so maybe your db ends up in the clink gets in trouble.

Quinteszilla · 22/02/2014 10:17

Goodness.

If the new will was real, any reasonable sibling would look at it and think "hey, mum was not of sound mind, this is not fair, it should be equal" and make it so.

Good luck!

BakerStreetSaxRift · 01/03/2014 11:56

I remember your thread too OP, probably posted under a different name.

Pleased to see you are getting somewhere with it now. Even if it costs you as much as you would get, it's almost worth it on principle, not to let him away with it.

Does your brother know what is happening?

riskit4abiskit · 02/03/2014 14:58

Have just read the whole thread. Your brother sounds despicable. I admire your determination and wish you luck

Laymizzrarb · 14/03/2014 16:45

I have just read your story. I wish you all the luck, and hope justice prevails, for you and your Mum.

SybilRamkin · 28/03/2014 19:03

How's it going OP? Any news?

Newbizmum · 13/04/2014 00:16

Hi again,

Well, after a hiatus of sorts with lots of going back and forth, we have the final report.

Without going into too much detail, it should put the fear of god into those reading it but to close out this part of the evidence, we are going to take another expert's advice. Why ? well, there are only so many top level experts in this field and two reports are far better than one. It also means the experts we have engaged would not be able to act for the defence. A bit like a football team buying a player not necessarily because they need him but because they don't want anyone else to have him. Sort of like that in any case.

So roll on summer and with it perhaps a proposition. With two expert reports, masses of incriminating evidence and the flimsiest of a potential defence, we should be in a position to enter the final chapters, if not quite the final chapter.

At the moment, I am trying to get every bank in the country to open up their books or state categorically that they never held an account in my mother's name. After this, we will consider whether to sue not only the brother but also the solicitor who acted for him. It is likely at this point that we will also involve the police and formally register a fraud.

Costs continue to accrue. At this time, we are past the point of no return in many respects. Having put so much into it, at such great financial and emotional cost, I cannot let it go without a conclusion.

Thanks again for the continued support and best wishes. You don't know how much I value that some nights when feeling blue.

OP posts:
EverythingCounts · 13/04/2014 00:30

Good grief. Put your head down and keep going and hopefully it will all be put to rights in the summer. No decent brother would act this way, sadly, and his actions have caused it all. Sad but I think you are doing the right thing.

piscivorous · 13/04/2014 00:37

Just wanted to send you some support Newbiz This must be so hard for you but you have right on your side. Keep going. I hope you get things sorted properly and your brother gets his just desserts

Pancakeflipper · 13/04/2014 00:40

Keep on going. I wish you all the best.

Doristhecamel · 13/04/2014 00:42

Just wanted to add my support to you.
This must have been a horrendous ordeal for you and I admire your strength and perseverence.
I wish you the very best of luck and really hope you get the conclusion that you want and deserve.

trixymalixy · 13/04/2014 00:51

Good luck. Sorry you're having to go through all of this Sad

BillyBanter · 13/04/2014 01:12

Just seen this thread for the first time.

Does your brother know you are investigating?

Good luck.

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