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Ethical dilemmas

Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

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Newbizmum · 24/07/2012 01:18

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

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Newbizmum · 03/01/2013 18:32

Thanks again for all the great wishes and support, it is really comforting.

I can't stop the estate being distributed as it already has been. However, the suspicious additions to the codicil actually include a clause to not inform me, which is completely self serving. However, we have asked them to put all distributions into an account to be administered by the court and have given them 14 days to comply.

I want to develop an argument against his solicitor as well. Apparently they had paperwork from my mother where she asked for me to be contacted and where she clarified her original will was valid and that she had no intention to change it ! Their actions now look at best incompetent and at worst downright suspicious. Perhaps time for their insurers to be put on notice.

As to the police, I agree with others that fraud is a crime and as such, investigation is a job for the police. However, there are complications using this route. Firstly, the police seem to like to follow civil proceedings rather than be pro active. Of course, that makes their life easy but I am trying to find someone in the police who might be on my side so to speak. The other thing is that once you give it over to the police, you lose control. Any evidence they obtain may not be made available to you and if their investigation or prosecution fails, you are in OJ Simpson land, knowing they are guilty but having to overturn a criminal acquittal in a civil court. You also lose the threat of involving the police, which is where I think we go next.

I tend to think that shortly we'll have enough to hang them but whether we can afford to proceed I do not know. We will find enough eventually but it will be hard. I just hope that even if he has been terribly stupid, the prospect of an exit route will bring him to his senses, though I feel he may dig his heels in and see the whole estate squandered rather than split fairly. I am trying to find a legal argument to stop that happening but ....

As ever, all comments welcome. I did message someone but if people can help with external resources, such as forensic specialists then do just post up or send me a message.

Thanks

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