Being left out of a will, feeling blue and confused

[Newbizmum]

Our mother died some months ago and it appears there was a change to the will a couple of months before she died, leaving around 98% of the estate (£300k) to my brother and his child with my children and I receiving just a few thousand. Previously the wills of both our parents and then my mother left it 50/50 to my brother and me.

I'll be honest and say that since the somewhat unexpected death of our mother, there have been occasions when the mind has wandered down the road of thinking what we would do with any inheritance. I certainly have not been mentally allocating it for things but rather like a daydream about how you would spend a reasonable but not jackpot lottery win, things like private schooling, perhaps a larger house and so forth.

My brother was initially very communicative but then changed and now doesn't want to discuss it, simply pointing me in the direction of the solicitors. I obtained a copy of the will only after searching the Probate Registry as neither he nor the solicitor would give me a copy.

It had always been an equal split, even before any wills were written but I didn't really consider what would happen because I enjoyed my parents being alive. Reading the will the other day made me feel sick, like I have not felt since I cannot remember when. I feel somehow less loved, second rate, if that makes sense ?

Aside from the mismatch, it worries me that this change, via a codicil, is full of typing errors, spelling and grammatical mistakes and is simply printed on blank A4 paper. All the other wills and codicils were written by the solicitor.

Perhaps because I feel this way I have come to thinking that perhaps this codicil is not real or worse, has been concocted. It appears signed with a reasonable signature (not the clearest photocopy) but the witnesses were just people down the street. I do not even know if this was ever given over to the solicitor but I somehow doubt it as there is no sign of a receipt stamp, which it would surely have.

Do I feel cheated ? yes, in a way. I didn't think this situation would arise for at least another decade but I also always assumed everything was as it had been discussed.

I can't think how the family could be mended after this. If my brother takes it all then it will leave a bitter pill and yes, some pangs of jealousy, which I know to be bad but I can't deny it. I certainly don't feel like going cap in hand. Yet if the feelings surrounding this strange codicil do not diminish, am I prepared to take it further and ask my own solicitor to investigate ? I simply do not know.

I think I could have taken it, albeit it with a little disappointment, if my mother had said she wanted to leave everything to my brother but this seems totally out of character. Even sidestepping the inheritance percentages, I "know" my mother would not make up this codicil at home, she was far too particular to leave anything like that to chance and I cannot envisage her signing something so full of errors, she being a school teacher after all. She certainly could not have made it herself as she didn't know how to type and didn't have a computer or printer.

Sorry for the long post but I don't really know where to turn as my brother has seemingly cut me out of his life. Yet if it has been done without my mother's knowledge or intention, the repercussions would be terrible.

How do I get over this and get back to feeling how I did before ?

I have just read this whole thread. I am from Australia and I have not long finished battling my brothers for a share of my fathers estate. Like you I cannot believe how many others this has happened to.
I found this site because I googled "how do I get over being left out of my fathers will?". All your story popped up and I couldn't stop reading.
My case was different in that my brothers didn't alter dads will in any way, but they knew about it for 20 years and kept it secret from me. Also the estate was worth several million dollars as it involved farms and thousands of acres of land.
It took 3 years, but I won, we went to the Supreme Court of Australia in September. Like you I had to find the money to fight them (re-drew from my home equity). The looked like fools in court- I was so glad I fought it out to the bitter end. I got almost a third of Dads estate. like you I'm a single mother and the whole experience has been totally heartbreaking.
No one in my family speaks to me anymore except one female cousin. I had a close and loving relationship with my Dad for my whole life and I have never done anything wrong by my family. But- Im not a farmer, so I miss out (mind you I was never told this).
Many people think that this is all about money and greed (the refusal to accept the will I mean). But its not, I have won but the pain is still there, I worry it will consume me.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I'm glad you know the truth- and your brother knows you know and no matter what he does that will haunt him all his days.
If you ever get to come to Australia, send me a message, it'd be great to meet you.

I'd defo question it, a member of my DPs family faked a will and got a few friends to sign it, most family didn't like it but never thought to question it. It like yours went against the persons nature, he was a well educated man who wouldn't Have made as many mistakes as was made. His death was out of the blue due to an accident and up until the death he had been himself, an earlier will written by him was far more detailed and educated than this one which was written in a comman language with poor spelling. We questioned it and solicitors looked into the matter. On the day he allegedly signed the updated will he had uploaded a blog online detailing a trip he was on, which would have placed him in the totally opposite side of the country. Then CCTV of a property overlooking the one the witness claimed to be in at time of him signing proved that he hadn't been there that day, however a video was discovered of a later date after the death which showes the main inheretor of the fake will, visiting the property at the same time as all the witnesses, The concerns were reported to executor of the will and legal teams and the new will was voided as a fake and they went back to the original will which had been done in the presence of a solicitor only 4 month prior to fake one.
I would definately get it checked out, question the legality of the will, a solicitor would look into differences between that a previous wills, how they are worded and your mums frame of mind as well as the relationship between her and the witnesses who signed. Sounds lile your brother is pulling a fast one.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

This really doesn't sound right at all.

You need to see a solicitor to see if the will is legal and challenge it. For all the reasons you have mentioned above this sounds like foul play without a doubt.

Just come across this thread, think I've read most of this and I am horrified. I can beleive this happens, but the legal proceedings just seem morally wrong that it should take do long and cost so much. Is this all over for you now? If not have you thought of a crowd funding page. These people should not be allowed to get away with it.

How's your brother's spelling? If his spelling and grammar is not very good (whereas your mothers was), there could be something in that.

The separate sheets with all the important info on them sounds dodgy. Ring a few solicitors to discuss. Some solicitors focus on settlement through mediation which could be a less expensive option. You definitely need to investigate the witnesses and speak to them separately. It might be best to get a friend with a respected job title to act as a witness to the conversations if you can arrange to meet the witnesses. The witnesses wont necessarily be truthful if they realise they may be in trouble themselves so you ideally want someone witnessing what they say and then checking it against the other witness’s story and other facts you can discover.

Did your mum need a lot of care towards the end and was your brother doing some or all of this? I wonder if he feels he has earned the inheritance? Is it possible that he had your mother over a barrel needing care and thinking she had no choice but to sign nearly everything over to him to get looked after?

Did you see much of her in the time around when the codicil was written? The problem is going to be building the evidence if you didnt see much of her and neither did anyone apart from your brother. It doesnt mean it cant be done though. I would definitely be following this up.

Oops, sorry OP, I realise now you have updated. I am in a similar situation to you but facing the prospect that it will be hard to get enough evidence and risky going to court. I did sever all relationship with my brother though as I assume you probably have too.

What is remarkable in your case is that witnesses and a cousin may have collaborated in a fraud. I have learned from this that I will make sure I let a number of people know my wishes. It is incredible to me that any parent would leave unequal amounts to their children in their will without a good reason and not realise the problems it could cause!

I don't know why I came back to this today but it has been rattling around in my brain for a couple of months because I found out something that you'd think might change things, even after all this time. In truth though, I feel as though it might be better left buried.

Over the years, I would randomly Google for someone's name, bored I guess, passing the time. A lost love, someone I had a crush on decades ago, a snippet of information on a story I never knew the answer to and occasionally the bit of family which I know are out there, though alien to me.

Usually nothing new comes back. Perhaps I've got things confused over the years, perhaps miss spelt a name, you know, the way that the intervening years erodes the sharper details. But into Google goes my brother's name. Amazingly, a string of news articles lights up the screen.

Fraud, theft, bullying, been to court, found guilty, thrown out of their respective professional body and yet seemingly still unrepentant. Yes, this is the one, the same relation I knew.

They've been banned for life in their respective field, not merely had their hand slapped but publicly shamed, thrown out and banned forever and this only came to the courts in the last couple of years but critically it stemmed from the period in question.

The statute of limitations is 12 years. This has a year and a bit to run and because there is still time, there is that part of me which wants to go after them, cut their throat and see the blood fall out. Yes, that hatred has not diminished.

The last 10 years have not been easy. They are not easy now. Life isn't a mansion on the seafront with beautiful furnishings and a never to be reckoned with credit card account with which to purchase life's wants and desires.

Life is a nearly 13 year old car, a bundle of debt, a small cottage to live in and a child rapidly turning into an adult without much in the way of the nice things in life. No second home for us, no foreign escapades, no tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds to be saved, invested or spent on life's luxuries. No, whilst I have provided what I can, any inheritance would have changed our lives.

And there comes the crunch again. Faced with the potential of a legal bull in the hundreds of thousands of pounds and with no way of paying it, we had to let this case lay undisturbed for years. Yet now, when we have evidence of theft, bullying and fraud, can we even begin to leverage this and win because my experience says it may be classed as inadmissible and if so, it would not be heard or referred to.

Even if it could be put forward, where is the money to restart the case and where is the lottery win to see it through ?

First we'd have to be assured that they still had assets worth pursuing as if they have all been liquidated and spent, then any victory would be hollow indeed as the bills would still need to be paid.

Someone asked me to write, they having read this and liked my words. I thank them for their support but sadly, without some windfall from the skies, even with this evidence of their wrongdoing, I cannot find a way to reopen this saga and in less than 2 years, it will be over forever.

If one of you is a lawyer and has an idea, please let me know. I just don't have £100k+ to get this into court and I know no other way.

I'm down but I have renewed fight in my belly and a sword that needs to be drawn before the battle is over.

Not yet experienced this, but my friend in Australia has long experienced claiming her parents' estate from her brother who got the most of it. She consulted a solicitor about this, I don't remember right, but the lawyer is from ORG Law firm? It took her a long process before they got what she was entitled to have.

Hopefully, your current situation results in good news soon.

Someone linked this thread in another thread. OP wow. I am so sorry. How are you?

@Newbizmum I cannot believe what you have gone through. I lost my Mum in May and thought applying for Probate, and selling her home was stressful enough. I hope things work out for you in the not too distant future.

OP what did you decide to do ?

Just saw the link from another thread. Wow, what a shocking and amazing story. And what a warning to anyone with dodgy relatives. I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that brother OP. At least other people have seen him for what he is. And your child can see proof it was not all in your head. I wish you peace. You deserve it x

Could you make some money selling your story to the papers? Get him banned in the court of public opinion at the very least?

Just read this today . So sorry you have had to go through this . I hope you get some comfort that he has been found out and his true nature has been exposed . I think you need to have your story heard , or let karma continue it’s deed . One day he ll have nothing and you will be rich compared to him , with all your friends, with your family , with your love , with your morals , with your self respect and with your home . Enjoy !

Just thought , set up a go fund me page to take him to court and all proceeds go towards costs and charity of your choice !

Christ, after reading through that whole saga I'd be willing to contribute myself. I'm feeling really bloodthirsty after reading that. What an absolute crook. I hope he gets his just desserts.

I so sorry this happened to you and hope things are much better now.

I’ve just read the OP’s posts, from that link as well.
This is shocking.

I came home this evening to a slurry of messages on a largely inactive account which took me back to the original post here on 24/07/2012. That is over 11.5 years ago and I was a different person then.

Thank you all, the new comments and the old ones. I re-read many today and I can't find words to say thanks for the shared feelings, especially from those who have experienced similar.

The law hasn't changed. Despite the massive amounts of money involved and the life changing decisions made, the truth is that it is "first past the post wins" and it doesn't matter whether that is fraudulent or truthful.

My child is now 16 and moving into a world where salaries are not enough to buy a place to live unless you are a doctor, banker, engineer, lawyer or some other high earning individual.

There are no more houses affordable for teachers, carers, the average person or the single parent. Unless you have an inheritance, you are fucked and if you don't get an inheritance, then your kid is fucked. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Maybe you get lucky in the world of good lucks or fate strikes and you find a partner who has a crock of gold but for the rest of us 99.99%, what gives ?

I sat on grandpa's knee and he didn't have a penny to leave but it was in a time when it didn't matter because houses, nice houses, were not an investment, they were a necessity and you could buy one for 2 or 3 times your annual salary and that was fine.

Today, a house in the ex shithole of Angel in Islington is £3m to £6m. Jeremy Corbyn has one and his son was "gifted" a council property. Labour - working for themselves.

I've lost the opportunity to make my sibling pay. I have wasted too much time, far too much money and way too many tears.

There is no change, the next person, maybe you reading this, or your daughter, they will be shafted just like me, just like my child, and one side of a generation will prosper and the other will have to fight for the sake of a scribbled line in a will or a fraudulent photocopy.

I'm older now of course. I'm still alone. Still single. Working multiple jobs, nights, double shifts and then any overtime available doesn't make it easy to find someone who is themselves worthy of your time but it make you hard, too hard I think.

There has always been food on the table, radiators on, clean clothes and school trips paid for, though sometimes Peter has certainly had to pay Paul. My child knows but doesn't ask, they have but they know they don't have. As always, I'd be the last to eat if there had to be a choice. Today we both cooked a cottage pie and vegetables, enough for 6 meals and we shared a bottle of red wine, as we talked as adults, equals, though age discriminates of course.

Perhaps the most poignant thing is that if you gave me the amount of money involved today it would be largely meaningless. The value has been lost to what it would have bought, the life it would have given, not what a 12 year old amount would buy today, perhaps 25% to 50% of what it would have bought then.

I would have liked the choice. That is what hurts most. And the fact that it was just fucking wrong, illegal but no-one cared.

Some asked me to write. I have sometimes but across the years when you pick it up from time to time you tend not to write about the good times and it is only the dark times that make the edits.

I'm not a great storyteller and my story is not meant to be one of woe and despair. I'm a survivor, not an advertisement for giving in or jumping off a cliff !

My intention one day is to find someone to help me to write a guide to "not getting fucked over by the greedy bastard sibling or relative" and to push for a change in the law, so that what happened to me and countless others can never happen again.

The trouble is that the spineless lawyers aren't interested.

I'd do nothing today because my child needs me. Yet some days I swear a little promise to myself that there will be a day when I won't care and whilst I'd love to find love, to retire in the arms of someone who cared enough to care, like Sarah Connor it might just come that "I'll be back".

For those in or near the same situation, reach out to me, it is the only way to build a movement for change.

For those who sympathise, I honour and respect your feelings. Thank you.

Thank you for the update.

Thanks for the update. Sorry there’s still so much pain. A betrayal like that makes a mockery of your childhood (as well as the financial aspect and the fact that this nasty criminal exists in your life and never paid for what he did). I’m not surprised you’re still angry. But I hope you can find peace despite it all and your child will have a happy and comfortable future. You sound close to them and that counts for a lot.

The legal process is very draining and can wreck people’s mental health. I understand why you did it but it will have taken its toll.

For what it’s worth I also think it’s very unjust that a person can’t fight a wrong committed against them because they can’t afford the legal fees. Something very wrong there I have always thought.

Newbiz, you're so strong. I really admire you. I remember the original post and the discovery from back then. You write very eloquently and this sorry tale would make a good book. The thieving brother has been exposed at least. You can sleep with a clear conscience.

Please see your own solicitor asap.