Elderly mum buying house with new man! Wtf!

[Greedybilly]

Mum is early 80's widowed 10 years ago. Carved out a nice life for herself. Wife of a couple she has known for years died 6 months ago.
Widow came to her for support and they quickly became a couple.
They are now wanting to both sell up and buy a house together ( after 6 months!)
Also he's a very dominant character and completely takes over every conversation. My kids and partner really dislike him.
Have lightly voiced my concerns to mum - thst it's too soon and that he takes over a bit (alot !!!)
She just laughs it off and is smitten. V worried about how this will pan out.
Anyone with experience/words of wisdom?
Thanks

if he has lots of money why doesn’t she move in with him and rent her house out after leaving it emptying and getting it ready.

It gives her the option to leave him much more easily.

People always go on about ‘washing his pants and socks’ - surely grown adults do their own washing?

Why should she? It is not what she is choosing to do. She has made a choice - just as we all do. It is hers to make.

Have you ever watched Friday Night Dinner OP? The boyfriend is giving very strong Mr Morris vibes with the lovely Grandma Nelly!

Seriously though, would your mum consider seeing a solicitor so she’s aware of the pitfalls? Otherwise, I guess she’s an adult so can make poor decisions if she wants to.

I hope she will be happy with him and have some great years ahead. Tell them about Immortal Unc, maybe they can start bio hacking together! Live long and prosper!

Has she watched Friday Night Dinner? Might she like it?

Surely adults just put washing in the machine when there a load. Maybe they take turns, maybe it's someone's normal chore. It's hardly a big job these days .

Just seen PP’s post - sorry for cross posting. Maybe time for a DVD marathon.

My generation, yes, and it’s no big deal.

The generation above mine (now 80+) seems to be full of men who were incapable of running a washing machine. Combined with “standards” about ironing everything - leads to lunacy involving ironing pants and socks! The same men also incapable of using an iron.

My DM was shocked when she discovered that not only do I not wash my DH’s work shirts, but he irons them himself!

Thank you so much.. and if you are speaking from experience which sounds like you may be, l am sorry too. Yes l get so sick of people asking how l am but obviously they are going to ask that and yes it comes from a good place but l just feel obliged to say 'well you know just keeping busy ' or whatever. Sometimes l indeed do want to say 'shit, just shit beyond what you could ever imagine' .

It depends. We are now a family of adults and I’d find it a bit weird if everyone did their own. Generally if someone needs something and is putting a wash on, they’ll collect the washing baskets or ask if anyone has anything else to go on.

some women of my mum’s generation(80+) were conditioned young that their role in life was to look after men. Mil never worked, but spent her life running round after her husband, and her adult grandsons. I think she felt like she was useful, and somehow needed to “earn” her living not bringing in a financial contribution.

She is being silly based on the view of the child? How many threads have we read on here about children not wanting their parent to bein a new relationship, and the parent being told to just get on with it.

I think this is such an important and overlooked perspective.

What utter nonsense are you trying to talk about here?

It's really not unusual for women to be 'expected' yo do all the housework for someone born in the 40's.
Maybe it's a working class thing?
Secondly I do not and never have underestimated the hideous loneliness of bereavement and widowhood. I totally get why you wd grab a '2nd chance' with both hands but I can still have huge concerns.
Thanks for all comments.

At least Grandma Nelly pulled out of the marriage at the last minute.
(Did think her having a full blown wedding dress was hilarious)

This happened to a friends mother. Her mother’s wealthy new husband turned out to be virtually bankrupt and turned nasty when it all came out. They divorced but the unfortunate thing was that my friends mother lost her share of her late husbands work pension because she had remarried and was left worse off.

@Wbeezer- sounds horrible. Vile little man

The thing is how do you really know he is well off ?

It's really not unusual for women to be 'expected' yo do all the housework for someone born in the 40's.
Maybe it's a working class thing?

@Greedybilly I think women in general were expected to organize everything related to the house, even if they had help. My Mum was a teacher and my Dad expected her to do everything.