I'm not really sure exactly what I'm looking to say here, perhaps just getting things off my chest?
My parents are soon to be 78. My dad retired at 39 through ill health (chronic fatigue) so we are used to him being unwell. He's recently been diagnosed with stage 4 (Gleason 9) prostate cancer. He is not doing well. Had difficulty walking, started on Zimmer quickly and there's an issue with no sleep and convulsions at nights which they're awaiting further info on.
My mum is exhausted. They've both been on antibiotics this week for chest infections. She's been bed bound. Her chest infections happen a few times a year. She's also been at hospital this week re a hernia. This needs operated on and 3 days in hospital.At first when my dad was diagnosed she would be with him during the night, give him a drink and chat. I can see how exhausted she is now. She's leaves him a flask and leaves him to it.
I'm feeling like I should be there most days now to help my mum and dad. They're older and it's the first time I've seen them both vulnerable. I currently see them fridays and weekends.
I can see things will get harder in the future for all. I'm financially quite secure. Could pay my bills etc for ten years. Should I spend more time with them when they're getting to the point of needing me? I feel like I gave my ds 4 years baby to toddler, and should do the same for my parents if I can afford it. For those with experience, what do you think? I'm 50. My brother also lives locally but is a director. I'm less senior and could work less hours.
Should I just hold off, see how things pan out and not rush anything? I'm just feeling miserable and overwhelmed with no joy in life and perhaps I want to take another stressor off the table (work,). This has just been rant really. I could go on and tell your about how my friends don't seem to even care to ask after my parents (who they know), and it's made me question friendships - but that's another thread!