Older folks and their endearing ways . Not.

[Nofeckingway]

Going on from a previous OP that said her ILs drive her insane with their narrow food choices, constant tea drinking and couch sitting .. what little harmless ways drive you mad ?
My father when I was younger and visiting with small DCs would come into the bedroom when he figured we had slept enough to squeegee and dry the windows of any condensation. Happened a lot as we often visited at Xmas time . Just because it was his habit every morning . Also wanted a dinner at 1pm despite us only getting around to brunch at 12. Would turn news on in middle of people talking . Hated anyone sitting in his chair .

But he redeemed himself as he was also a loving generous man and he and my mother would go shopping for nappies, wipes , food for our visits and pick up the tab for meals out .

Oh dear!! 🫠

I remember reading once (ages ago now) about a woman who went to stay with her parents with her baby. When they'd turned in for the night, she heard her DM telling her DF to "Just pop in to the bedroom and check on the baby"... however, he instinctively went and check on their (now very grown-up) 'baby' (who was pretending to be asleep to see what he did), whilst completely ignoring the actual sleeping baby!!

To anyone who warms plates in the oven and not with a gadget;
What is the perfect oven temperature and for how long do you heat them?

I also fold my dirty washing neatly. It takes up so much less space.

Isn't this thread closer to "kids say funny things" than it is to racist or ablist apologetics?

Just because my mum warms salad plates or my daughter tells someone in Tesco she's wearing her Frozen pants, doesn't lead me down the track of thinking they are less capable, or laughing at them for something that they are.

The truth is, both older adults and children can be less capable in some ways - everyone goes through these life stages of fluctuating approaches to things and fluctuating executive function and social skill too. So society needs to hold the tension of respect for people's autonomy and the need for additional care and support for some groups sometimes. I see these observations as kindly and part of our process of holding that tension.

Racism or abelism is often punching down, scorning people for doing things or being things that are perfectly culturally valid and human, but which a narrower perspective on life sees as funny or shocking or lesser in some way. It's not that people are less capable than a "norm" (white, western, blah blah blah, neuronormative, physically able etc) but that life and society and institutions are structured in a way that doesn't account for the breadth of people. I can feel the difference and it always rebounds badly on the person making the so called joke.

Nope 57 here, I take charity bags, from the Everest sized pile in the garage. Not wasting money on a dedicated bag for dirty laundry.

This is ridiculous logic. The internet is riddled with discrimination and abuse - to say "don't use it then" would be to victim blame. People should be encouraged to call out discrimination. It's the very reason there are moderators on mumsnet.

You're entitled to think this threat isn't discriminatory and to engage in debate on the topic, but I doubt you'd tell someone to "get off MN" if they called out something they perceived as racist?!

I fold too - and I separate the dirty clothes into whites, darks, mixed and hand wash - different bags for each - all ready to go into the machine when I get home.

Another plate warning one…. for every meal including salad. And soup. It was always a major palaver; oven/pouring boiling water on endless plates etc. I bought them a microwave plate warmer but don’t think they ever used it.
And yes, horrified when I confessed to not always warning my plates at home (or just sticking them directly in the microwave 😂).
And soup spoons…what’s that all about??

Restaurants always (or should) serve food on hot plates to keep the food warm for longer. It's just common sense. Or is that just common in "older" people?

My MIL is obsessed with everything being piping hot as well. The plates definitely have to be heated, coffee, tea and soup so hot you would have a 3 degree burn if you are not careful. Love her really but they do have their ways. In my 28 years knowing her, I don't think I've ever heard her say that a meal out was excellent. There would ALWAYS be something not quite right

She can't have been old for the last 28 years? Maybe it's just her personality. I hate lukewarm food as well.

But I've found this winter in our cold Victorian house, that despite the heating being on, the plates are icy when I get them out of the cupboard and quickly make the food go cold. Nothing worse than cold eggs or cold fish.
I think warm plates are great!

Yes, I genuinely don't understand the problem with this, or why it's a focus of criticism.

Me too!
When my father was in the early stages of dementia a woman from Adult Social Care came round to observe him, to see if he was safe in the kitchen. She watched him prepare lunch, but noted that he "poured boiling water on the plate" before dishing up the food. She noted this as a negative. She even laughed when she told me about it.
I think some people have always had the privilege of central heating.

@Sueandthegoldfish And soup spoons…what’s that all about??

It's easier to drink soup from them?

But it's not generalising a whole generation, people are talking about their own LOVED family members, for goodness sake, have you never ever endearingly talked about your own parents/grandparents sometimes weird habits? No of course not... saint

Maybe I wrote it wrong or maybe you didn't read it properly. "in my 28 years knowing her, I don't think I've ever heard her say that a meal out was excellent. There would ALWAYS be something not quite right"

I should also confess that I have a silver-lined, antimicrobial, anti-odour gym bag that I use for my dirty laundry when I go on holiday. 😅

But when I was a kid, we used to go camping, and there wasn't a lot of space for clothes by the time the tents, the family and all the other gubbins was loaded in. So if you wanted clean clothes, you had to take your washing to the laundry at least once a holiday. And by far the easiest way to do that is with a laundry bag!! (and another bag to put the clean stuff in afterwards!)

A lot of supposedly old folk behaviour is probably just sensible. Why wouldn't you separate dirty laundry in your bag when away for instance? Hot plates also have their place though I only do it at Christmas so dinner stays hot whilst faffing about. Still what do I know as I am over sixty.

Don’t be silly. This thread is not racist or horrible towards disabled people.

Absolutely! I think that's practical.

So... that's not her being elderly? Just her personality?

Yes but as a fully grown adult with a lifetime of experience you dont want to be compared to a two year old.

They're always such thin, rubbish quality, though - assuming you mean the ones that get constantly stuffed through your letterbox but which nobody ever comes back to collect?

They always seem to be much bigger than they are sufficiently strong for the weight of clothes that they can hold, and rip so easily - especially if hauled in and out of suitcases and pushed down firmly to maximise packing room by eliminating dead air space.

We just pop in a couple of decent-quality bin bags for ours; then, when back home and the clothes have been washed, re-use the bags as actual bin bags.