My lovely FIL died 18 months ago. MiL struggled hugely after caring for him for 2 years with no family nearby. After he died she asked if she could move nearer to us.. he had wanted her to so that was a big part in it..200 miles from where she had lived her whole life.. we gladly said yes. I get on with her and we have similar values hobbies etc.. we wanted to give her the support but with some worries about moving her away from her friends. To make it work financially we had to go in with our savings to make up the difference on a new place and also do it up as our area is more expensive than hers. In spite of her really trying it has been hard so much harder than i thought.. I think she thinks we are much better off than we are and DH is so generous hes just got in the habit of paying for her everywhere we go and taking her on holiday with us. Its getting to me.. the house has been hard work for a woman in her 80s so even though we are spending a fortune she is missing her old home, friends, town and is emotionally flat alot of the time. I have very little time with DH now hes either doing DIY or she's with us because shes lonely. To be fair she has joined a couple of groups so she is trying. I dont want to feel resentful... she lost her husband and dealing with a massive change but im starting to fester about the time, our massively depleting savings (everything has to be done ASAP! ) and general assumption that its her son's role now to do what her husband did and looking after her .. we didnt realise how much he did ! how do I manage it and move on ??