80 year old neighbour won’t sit still despite back pain

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My neighbour won’t sit still, he is in a lot of pain with his back but his wife has confided in us that he simply won’t listen to her and just constantly has to be outside keeping busy, despite the fact it’s got colder.
He grits his teeth through the pain in sheer determination not to sit down and rot as he describes it.
His wife is concerned but at the same time has said his stamina is what’s kept him going for so long.
Any ideas how we can help? It seems maybe he’s losing his mind?

I'm really struggling to see what the problem is here.

He could ask his GP? You're normally told to keep active with back pain, but it would be good to know what's causing it.

It's not too cold outside for most people.

I think with backs - it's use it or lose it. He probably doesn't want it to seize up, and actually wants to be outside.

Would she prefer he sits in his chair or lies in bed 24/7?

Also, it's not cold. November this year, is unseasonably warm. It's 14 degrees C right now (Midlands.)

I dont know why you think this is a sign he is losing his mind.
Keeping active is one of the best things for back pain.
He's quite right to say he wants to do things rather than sit out the rest of his life.

He’s doing the right thing imo.

He might benefit from some private physio, and in fact despite being resolutely unwoo I am a reluctant convert to osteopathy. And/or one of those heated back belts/pads?

As everyone has said it’s nearly always best to keep going with back pain. He shouldn’t be lifting things though.

Nod, smile, take in parcels, if necessary, feed their cats if they have them and go away. Apart from that, they are neighbours and you have no agency whatsoever about how they carry on.

He's doing the correct thing in keeping active. Inactivity is not a good thing for back pain

It’s important to stay active - for the body and the mind! If you really want to help you could buy him a gift of a heated jacket - one of those where you press a button and the jack warms up. And encourage him to see a GP for some pain management.

He's more likely to lose his mind sitting in a chair all day.
My mum is 82 and can barely walk a few steps. Its heart breaking to see her in this state.
He's doing the right thing keeping active

Leave him be. Otherwise he’ll end up like my parents sitting on the settee all day everyday moaning and doing absolutely nothing.

He’s doing the right thing and good for him when so many would give up and whither away.

He is managing the pain that he is in as best he can in a way that works for him.

The only help you could offer is to suggest that he gets a male member of his family to go to the Doctor with him.
With the aim of
A) seek help IDing what is the root cause of the pain and
B) what pain management treatments are available and
C) to get a referral to a pain specialist

This. Why are you so invested in what your neighbours are doing?

You could talk to her about what's making her so anxious? Is she usually a worrier, or is this perhaps to do with her realising that she is becoming more immobile while he is coping better? Or is she genuinely worried he's doing himself more harm than good?

I agree with the others that his approach sounds like a sensible one, but it must be tricky to be caught in the middle if his wife has taken to confinding in you.

Sitting still is really bad for your back. For most kinds of back pain staying active is the right thing.

So important to stay active in your older years. Unless he is doing activities that the doctor has expressly advised him against I cannot see the problem.

Inactivity makes back pain worse- it is widely accepted that gentle movement helps a lot to manage back pain. Keeping still makes the problem worse.

But he should see a doctor to work out if there is an injury or just stiffness and find ways to help manage the pain.

I don't really see a) what the problem is and (kindly) b) why you think you should do anything about it.

It's important to stay active as you get older- my mum is the same. She occasionally has falls due to her disabilities and that is something I worry about, but I don't expect her to just sit in an armchair waiting for death either.

I don't think any of this points to him losing his mind, more that he's just an old man set in his ways who doesn't want to lose all his physical ability. I don't blame him.

I echo everyone else that it’s good for his back to keep going. It’s also good for his general physical and mental health.

He should see GP about this back pain to find out the cause and how best to manage it.

His wife is a worrier, but she has knocked my door to ask about something trivial as an ice breaker for talking about the problems she’s having with him. He never used to be quite so active as he is now, she said he’s in total denial that he needs to take time out to relax and she’s concerned that he’s going to have a fall. I have noticed he’s acting a it out of character and I’m just worried he’s going to hurt himself and we’ve done nothing to help. I feel like we need to have something to go back to her with, a suggestion or similar.
I understand it’s good to keep moving when old or having back pain, but moving constantly without resting?

If he's anything like my 80-something mother, he has been prescribed painkillers for his back. But refuses to take them!

And that is his choice.

As long as he's not doing heavy work, lifting or digging an allotment or such like it will be good for him. I think his wife doesn't realise sitting all day would be really bad for his back. But he should get it checked by a gp, although it will almost certainly be ageing of the spine and/or arthritis so not much to do but take painkillers when necessary.

The best way not to be a fall risk is to stay active.