If your lo has dementia and is in a care facility, how much is it costing per week.

[TheSummerGrinch]

I know it all depends the area etc.

Mum has Alzheimer's, 7 years in to it now.

She wasn't doing too badly, she lives at home with dad and between my sister and I and a morning carer we were doing ok. Mum was (mainly) continent and went to a day centre twice a week. Things were stressful as they are with dementia but ok.

However, that all changed 6 weeks ago. Mum fell in the garden breaking her hand, dislocating her knee and fracturing her neck. Although mum is ok now with her physical injuries the 3 week stay in hospital has exacerbated her dementia. They allowed her to toilet in the bed and now she is double incontinent.

She came home two weeks ago. She is still often double incontinent although the carers are able to get her on the commode or toilet. They can also get her walking with support and a frame but she is still very weak (she also has osteoporosis and breast cancer). Our carers are wonderful but it's hard going.

We have 6 carers working on a rota 4 times a day but it's very expensive and it still leaves 20 hours a day where mum is either in mine, my sister's or my elderly father's care. We are exhausted and miserable.

We never wanted to put mum in care, no one does but I can't help thinking for maybe not much more than we are paying for the carers to come 4 hours a day we could have mum looked after 24/7 and gain some life back for ourselves?

Tbh, I hate to even contemplate it, I hate the thought of her in care but I'm done. Going to my parents on an almost daily basis has wiped me out.

How much do you pay for a care home privately?

The resident (via us!) has to provide some things in a dementia care home. The home doesn’t provide toiletries or clothes. We buy those and take them in, using the person’s money for reimbursement. The home organises haircuts and chiropody, and the bill for those is added to the monthly accounts from the home and paid by direct debit

Uh yes it does. There's s a section on cognition and another on behaviours. I work for a local authority applying for CHC on behalf of service users and we definitely have ‘won’ applications based on ‘A’ rated behaviours that need specialist support due to dementias

If she receives care due to her health then you need to be pressing for a continuing care assessment, they will not offer you need to push. We paid nothing for care because it was funded

Once in a care home they are protected from things like falling down stairs which might speed their demise. It’s a totally unreal environment and no injury must happen or it’s a headline in the local paper - when the best thing would be to let them lead as normal a life as possible and let accidents happen. One lady was celebrating her 100th birthday in DM’s care home. She had dementia etc so was clueless. But she was well cared for .

Agree with extra costs - for DF I pay (with his money) for toiletries which I take in, for chiropodist I make sure an account with the home is topped up.

Interestingly, I just discovered toothpaste is prescribed - not sure if it’s a special one but it must be in his care plan. Incontinence products are also prescribed.

Clothes, shoes and glasses are still a cost.

Yes, the cognitive dissonance is hard to deal with. And the carers are so… jolly 🤷‍♀️. Talking over the head of MIL, waffling on about how ‘chatty’ she’s been 🙄, how much she enjoyed her dinner (liquidised lasagne), how much she’s looking forward to our next visit (she hadn’t a clue).