If your lo has dementia and is in a care facility, how much is it costing per week.

[TheSummerGrinch]

I know it all depends the area etc.

Mum has Alzheimer's, 7 years in to it now.

She wasn't doing too badly, she lives at home with dad and between my sister and I and a morning carer we were doing ok. Mum was (mainly) continent and went to a day centre twice a week. Things were stressful as they are with dementia but ok.

However, that all changed 6 weeks ago. Mum fell in the garden breaking her hand, dislocating her knee and fracturing her neck. Although mum is ok now with her physical injuries the 3 week stay in hospital has exacerbated her dementia. They allowed her to toilet in the bed and now she is double incontinent.

She came home two weeks ago. She is still often double incontinent although the carers are able to get her on the commode or toilet. They can also get her walking with support and a frame but she is still very weak (she also has osteoporosis and breast cancer). Our carers are wonderful but it's hard going.

We have 6 carers working on a rota 4 times a day but it's very expensive and it still leaves 20 hours a day where mum is either in mine, my sister's or my elderly father's care. We are exhausted and miserable.

We never wanted to put mum in care, no one does but I can't help thinking for maybe not much more than we are paying for the carers to come 4 hours a day we could have mum looked after 24/7 and gain some life back for ourselves?

Tbh, I hate to even contemplate it, I hate the thought of her in care but I'm done. Going to my parents on an almost daily basis has wiped me out.

How much do you pay for a care home privately?

We paid about £7500-7800 per month depending on the length of the month in the south east. Fees went up in April but we had a couple of months notice. Mum did not have a diagnosis of dementia but had increasing care needs. By the time she went into the home I was on my knees trying to care for her and juggle other care responsibilities. She lasted about 18 months, passing in May. I’m still traumatised by it all. She wasn’t very happy there but she was unsafe on her own with only a little care from a carer and a weekly cleaner and I (her only child) was with her several times a day (I lived in the same street) could no longer cope. Though she was pretty miserable (she was at home as well) she was well cared for and though my heart broke a bit more every time I visited (2-3 times a week, it was a 70 mile round trip), it was a relief not having the feeling of constant responsibility.

I really do feel for you, it absolutely destroys you doesn't it, never really knowing what to do for the best?

We have tried so hard to keep mum in the home she's known for the last 50 years, we will keep the 4 times a day care going but I really can't see it lasting if mum can't get somewhere back to how she was and that's so doubtful.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mum. What a horrible thing dementia is.

For us it ended up being around £7,500 - £8,000 a month for dementia care in the SE (outer London). The care home were fab and it was much less stressful than using live-in carers at home (and much the same price). It's also worth looking into NHS continuing healthcare funding, notoriously difficult to get for dementia but we managed it for my mum with the help of an advice firm (they weren't great to be honest, but not sure how it would have gone without them). Applied once Mum was in the care home and they backdated to the date of application. Also applied for my Dad and didn't get it though.

£1,950. a week

1400 a week, in Scotland

Again, about 7000 per month for DM with Alzheimer 's and other types (in the SE.).
It's mind- boggling.

I keep seeing a TV ad for NHS continuing care, think it's definitely worth us looking into.

I really is. We are in Essex so I'm expecting figures close to £7-8k per month.

Extremely difficult to get. From the symptoms you listed, I would say your mother would not qualify.

We applied this for my dad double incontinence. Had to be fed couldn't move or talk. He was no way near bad enough for them. I think its more to do with the medical need side rather than physical need.

Just under 2k a week (central Scotland). Private dementia home. There was no way we could care for her and once she started wandering at night it was time for a care home. Yes, it was nice enough but jeez eye opening re the costs of these things. Moving her in wasn’t a problem - within 10 minutes she forgot where she was anyway, and hadn’t known any of us for a while by then either. She was physically reasonably healthy so lasted 6 years in the home - thankfully she had the funds, although she would be devastated to know how much it all cost, she never wanted to have to go into a home (when she had agency) but sometimes there’s no choice.

We are paying £1507 a week (£6529 per month) Lancashire village location. It’s a nice home, a bit ‘posher’ than other places we looked at locally which were about £100-£150 a week less.
That is their standard residential price and includes dementia care. I think the residents who need nursing care pay around £2000 a week. 😮
It’s expensive, but in my case, worth it for the peace of mind!

Similar £s to what previous posters have said. We bought an ‘Immediate needs’ annuity to cover the cost, with a bit of protection in case our LO dies earlier than expected. Not cheap, but at least we know the costs of the care home are covered for the rest of his life

I work in care home finance, our nursing fees vary from £1275 per week to £1120 per week, including FNC.

@TheSummerGrinch terminal conditions might have more traction with CHC and needing 24 hours supervision - I wouldn’t discount it but also wouldn’t delay moving.

Nursing home fees similar to pps at £7k a month but we definitely needed nursing (South West) and care company claim FNC on top of our fees.

It was a hard decision but we were at breaking point too and if you think of cost per 24 hours it suddenly seems a reasonable price for your sanity.

About 7.5K a month (midlands) for MIL. As others have said, the criteria for NHS continuing healthcare are very stringent (MIL does not meet them and she is unable to do virtually anything for herself). You might be able to get NHS funded nursing care, which is not a huge amount in comparison to the total bill, but better than nothing!

Thank you everyone.

I think we need to seriously consider a care home now. Crossed wires today or something, I don't know, means we've been let down by our carers and now have no care this weekend so will have to do it ourselves.

Care homes seem such a huge cost financially but losing our sanity comes at a massive cost too and we are all beginning to break.

We can try and apply for continuing care, will probably get nowhere with it but nothing ventured and all that.

As per others £7,600 pm for my brother - I did try to get NHS funding but failed. I assume your dad is still in the marital home so I believe they cannot force a sale - Age Uk are a good source of info. Our dad also had dementia but no assets so the council picked up the bill. Be prepared for the never ending loss of clothing despite being named!!! I my brother has been there for 3 years now - the home is ok but not perfect so i am looking to move him - the pain doesn’t end with going into a care home but it is one less thing to worry about - good luck - it’s very tough x

It must be stressful looking for another home.
I have heard of clothing, false teeth and other stuff going missing. Mum we t into respite for 4 days in April and 4 items of clothing were missing, eventually found 3 weeks later.

I know it is difficult to get now but if your DM has any additional needs at all (mobility problems following the fall? Safety issues? Diabetes? ) i would definitely explore continuing care under the NHS.
And even if you're not successful at first, if she deteriorates medically in any way then do keep trying.
[And yes, clothing, false teeth, specs etc do go missing. Mind you, my mum got some nice jumpers etc in return - nomfalse teeth, though. )

Above post should read 'no false teeth'...
A few years ago now, early to mid 2010s, before my DM became eligible for the continuing care, we spent £100k on care home (not nursing home) fees in four years before she deteriorated and the care home could not have her any longer.
So she got the NHS funding and a nursing home placement. I think it would have been 6k a month then, if we had had to pay it.

The cost will depend on whether she needs residential or nursing care and whether she needs a specialist mental health unit.

The bar for CHC funding is very high - based around having very complex and unpredictable nursing needs. She may get funded nursing care - ask for a district nurse assessment for this. It’s not a lot but it all helps.

It sounds as if you’re all nearly at breaking point. I would contact some local homes asap to see if they have vacancies and if they can come to assess your Mum. Good luck, it’s an awful illness xx

£1700-2400 in Edinburgh

Mine is in an amazing care home
£6400 a month

Did look at home carers as had them
daytime before and it was about the same (£1600 a week) but the night was just a randomer sleeping in the house rather than care

the responsibility of managing carers at home was immense and nothing at all to do now in a care home

My DF was briefly in same home and they were experts at securing CHC for him so ended up not having to pay having commited to similar each month (cancer end of life about 10 weeks in the end)

I assume that you are claiming full attendance allowance?

long form but low threshold and helps with costs (if in England)