The oldie is back in hospital. Not been answering phone or messaging family. I initially tried to ring the ward every day but it's hard as you can never speak to the right nurse and they never phone you back. I asked my siblings to help out but they felt it was unnecessary.
Ergo as I've been busy with work this week (I did a couple of on calls and a day in our basement operating theatre with crap phone reception) it dropped off and I hadn't spoken to the nursing team for about 5 days.
Finally got hold of her nurse to be told the oldies discharge planning is well underway. When I queried why no-one had contacted me I was told there was no need as they had spoken to the oldie.
I am SO frustrated I've raised TWO complaints with the same trust about her last two discharges when they did this and I spoke to the nurses on admission about how important it was to keep me in the loop.
Oldie has a good social facade but there is very little cognitive action behind the scenes. I'm doing all finances, grocery shopping etc. these days. We are still waiting for a cognitive assessment because there is a two year waiting list that oldie only joined 6 months after I raised concerns as the GP dismissed me initially.
I've also messaged the oldie daily to remind them to get the staff to loop me into the discussions so I can sort groceries etc and make sure their discharge medication isn't going to be a shit show again. Nurse looking after her didn't even know I exist - this is a recurrent sore point when they ask her about her family she always tells them she has none as her parents and husband are dead. Those of us who are living and involved albeit more distant relations apparently aren't even worth mentioning!
Hilariously 2 hours after my rather pointed conversation I got another call from the nursing team - they had just worked out the Oldie has no shoes in hospital as she had forgotten to take any with her. I was coincidentally in town when she went into hospital and went to her house to collect other stuff I knew she was missing (thanks AirTags) before visiting. I asked her if she needed anything. No mention of missing shoes.
So I only discovered that she had no shoes after I got to the hospital. Sadly this was only 8 hours before I got a train 400 miles home and I had no time to go rectify the situation. I didn't rush to sort this out as I was kind of hoping she could just go home in slippers. But apparently the physio team needed her in shoes.
So I persuaded one of my friend's very helpful teenagers to go to her house and collect the shoes. When I asked the oldie if she needed anything else brought in to the hospital from her house she then gave me a full on shopping list including two ready meals and a punnet of strawberries! It transpired she was disorientated to time and place ( thought it was Saturday and she was at home hence needing groceries). Teenager then told me she didn't know who he was. He has been her tech support for the past year and has seen her at least once a month, sometimes more. He is a lovely lad and always stops to have tea, cake and a chat.
Honestly, how do the staff keep missing how confused she is??