What is the difference between 80 and 85?

[totalwipebum]

No, not 5 :-)

My DF has just turned 80 and in good-ish shape.
A colleague of mine said today that 85 looks very different to 80, or in her family’s case anyway..

It scares me to think my lovely dad could age so much just in 5 years, yet given the change he’s experienced in the last couple of years I can see it heading this way. He was great in his mid 70s bit late 70s to now have been harder for him with back issues and a fall.

How have your relatives fared?

I'm sorry for your loss and the terrible shock that must have been for her whole family @Anedina but what a bloody marvellous way to go that was, for your mum.

Just redirecting this post, my DM is 80 this year too. She hasn’t really aged at all as far as I can see, but what I have noticed is she’s more nervous of their young neighbours who complained that my dad’s garden radio was too loud (I’m sure it was), she used to give their children birthday and Christmas money and knock their door regularly to check in, but she’s stopped doing that now, she is also shrinking before my eyes.
My dad on the other hand has bounced back from his back surgery, but he seems now unable to sit still, he is out in the cold weather pottering around totally refusing to let age get him.
I feel now my parents are starting to become a bit “silly” if that makes any sense to anyone? Whereas before I sort of looked up to them.

Anyway: would be interesting to hear others’ experiences..

My mum's mobility rapidly decreased between 80 and 85. At 80 she could walk easily. At 85 she uses a rollator, both in and outdoors.

She used a stick for about 2 years before getting the rollator aged 84. She can still walk up steps slowly.

It's great, gives her much more freedom and she can sit down whenever she needs. And carry her shopping.

My parents are 85 and 83. Still Driving abroad for holidays. Live totally independently. No help, not even a cleaner. Both drive. A few health issues but nothing major. No dementia signs.
So it really depends on the individual I think.

As people have said, varies a lot. Some people seem 'elderly' at 72 and some people are still lively and sprightly at 87. Some people gradually go downhill over years, some people experience a health setback and seem to age 10 years 'overnight'.

My granddad was still pretty active in his late 80s but honestly, even though his health wasn't that bad the last 3 years of his life, I remember thinking about 18 months before he died that I hoped he didn't have to live too long as he was, as it seemed such a shadow of his former life.

I think every in has a buffer - cognitively and physically. They can gradually deteriorate within that buffer without any real noticeable difference, however once they reach the edge of that buffer the impacts really ramp up very quickly.

@Platespace if he shouldn’t really still be driving then what are you doing about this? While it might be convenient, if they cause an accident how would you feel then about turning a blind eye?

My dad was super at 80. Very old man now at 85

In what way did he decline? Sorry to hear this.

In what way did he decline? Sorry to hear this.

Dad is 81 and amazing, very active, very motivated. Loves getting out and about, real zest for life still. I'm expecting a decline at any moment but having lost mum years ago, I feel very lucky to have had him so long and in such good health.

DH and I are both approaching 80. Mentally we are almost as sharp. We just very occasionally need help with physical and mental things. I have deteriorated slightly more than DH. He is very fit, but just aging in gentler ways. He daytime naps more and feels the cold more.

I do believe it is genes as lots of our family lived independently well into their 90s.

I think you are right that there is a big difference between 80 and 85. We are fortunate that we have a very open relationship with DCs and have been able to discuss our future needs. We are financially secure and will both be willing to pay for and accept outside help.

I had the first 10 years of my retirement ruined caring for very nasty mother and stepfather. I am determined not to impose on my kids in the same way.

What your colleague said has been true for my dad. At 80 he wasn't much different from 70 - active, lots of hobbies, sharp as ever. At 85 he's still got no diagnoses, but he's just so much frailer, he doesn't do his hobbies any more (too tired, too much for him these days) and just spends a lot of his time sitting quietly or napping. He's starting to get muddled too and we're fairly sure he has dementia.

Mum's late 70s and still doing well but she has some health issues so I do fear the next 5 years.

I noticed this had come back in my active feed. I posted back in May my parents were turning 80 and I was worried about the decline in one of them. A few months later we hit a crisis and we are now looking at nursing home care as she’ll never recover. I think another poster hit it on the head that people are probably fine until there is a health crisis but if there is an unexpected illness or bad fall at that age, it can go downhill pretty quickly.

I posted upthread in May that my parents were 88 and 83 and both doing pretty well. They're now 89 and nearly 84 and still doing pretty well. Fingers crossed it carries on like this but realistically I know it will change for the worse at some point.

The average male life expectancy in the UK is less than 80, 83 for women. So for most people getting to 80 or 85 at all is an achievement.

It depends on the individual. It could be the difference between alive and dead It could be the difference between learning Spanish and becoming more involved in the local chess club. Who knows.

Yes depends. Mine is 83 very needy. Manipulative if she doesnt get her way. Def very draining. Personality too of course varies with people

Mine too bless him….in fact up to age 82 he was super fit and healthy but then had a fall and it was like a deck of cards falling ….. I looked after him with increasing help for the last 2 1/2 years …the falls became more regular, he deteriorated in front of our eyes….he went from wearing nice trousers and a shirt every day to just living in pyjamas ……had another fall last October and after 3 weeks in hospital has been in a respite / rehab centre since then….the decision has been made , with his agreement , that he will be moving into a care home permanently sometime this week…..the relief is immense, I could feel myself dying from the inside those 2 1/2 years …..I love my dad to bits and he understands ( on good days !!!) why this needs to happen…. It very nearly broke me as an only child and that’s with a wonderful DH and lovely friends/carers…
my mum on the other hand dropped dead at 82, still doing her washing, her hair and wearing nice clothes and make up every day…..it really varies OP…

I think there's often an ageing leap but it's variable when. My sprightly, well nourished female relatives tended to experience that around 88-90. Less engaged, depressed male relative- earlier.