What is the difference between 80 and 85?

[totalwipebum]

No, not 5 :-)

My DF has just turned 80 and in good-ish shape.
A colleague of mine said today that 85 looks very different to 80, or in her family’s case anyway..

It scares me to think my lovely dad could age so much just in 5 years, yet given the change he’s experienced in the last couple of years I can see it heading this way. He was great in his mid 70s bit late 70s to now have been harder for him with back issues and a fall.

How have your relatives fared?

I guess it's different for everyone, but my dad was a sprightly superfit 79 yo, who I went to for help with any physical tasks around the house and who would think nothing of walking 10/12 miles on a day out. At 81 he needs help to get down the front doorstep, cant walk more than a few yards and is probably not really fit to drive.

He had cancer, now in remission, but it (or the treatment?) turned him into an old man overnight.

My parents are a bit older at 90 and 89, and they are noticeably more frail than they were 5 years ago, and definitely much more so than ten years ago.

It’s just the inevitability of life.
Dont worry about what might be…. Make the best of today

My grandparents and great grandparents have generally been well and good into their 90s. We had to stop my great grandmother from driving at 85 for other peoples' sake but she continued her volunteering role until she was 88-90. Her sister turned 100 last month and looks so well. She doesn't have time to get old.

There's no 'usual'. If your dad can keep himself busy, mentally and physically as far as he can, then there's no sure thing that he'll have declined by 85. Yes, risks of certain conditions increase, but it's not guaranteed

At both ends of the spectrum, aging is faster.
Think babies and children. A year for a baby is a world of difference.
Then there is a long period when ageing slows in adulthood. Speeds up again when elderly. So every year for your parents makes a big difference from say 40 to 45.

Its very individual. My neighbours are mid 80's. She climbs ladders to trim the hedge and plays golf twice a week!

My nan lived alone, at home till 98, moved to a care home and lived to be 102!

My own dad, never smoked, rarely drank and died at 47 of a sudden heart attack- you just never know.

I dunno, 5 years, but Willie Nelson is still touring at 92, it's very individual

I think it’s a very individual thing - there wasn’t much of a difference in DM at 80 and 85, up until then she was even still managing to work part time 5 days/week!

The difference in 85 and 90 however has been quite upsetting if I’m perfectly honest. My once fiercely independent DM is now noticeably frail and needs help with basic household tasks like cleaning, shopping etc as her mobility really isn’t great plus she’s easily tired. She still lives alone but I’m not sure how much longer this will be practical for. It’s quite scary how fast she’s gone downhill in the past few years 😞

5 years

At 80 my dad was just starting to show signs of Querulousness. At 85 he wasn't left alone and didn't go to a relative's wedding.

On the other hand, MiL will be 85 in December and is still trundling around hosting roast dinners and calling H to talk her through things on the computer.

Despite having dementia there wasn’t much physical difference for my mum between 80-85. She slowed a little but was very active and fit however if she caught a cold it would knock her sideways for awhile. She’s now 86 and she has become very frail almost overnight following a chest infection a few months ago.

As PP say it just varies a lot. My own DM was fit as a flea and active at 85. She has gone into a fairly sharp decline in the last 2 years, just been diagnosed with Alzheimers at age 89.

In my experience the 80's is when things start to go wrong. Old age really does start to catch up and once you get one illness or injury (such as a chest infection, UTI or god forbid a broken hip), people often never really recover and other things quickly follow.

I think it goes in five year spurts. You don’t notice much from one year to another but looking back 5 there’s a shift. My mom aged quite a bit from 85 super active driving to 90, reads ALL DAY rarely leaves her seniors (very fancy) complex.

My mum is 83 but my dad is 85.

He’s very sprightly. Still drives - in fact they took the ferry to Spain a few months ago and then drove round the country for a month. They drive to Ireland regularly and are always travelling.

Hearing still good. Wears glasses. Spends hours in the garden.

My mum was quite sprightly at 82, one day she was getting ready to walk to the shops a mile away and dropped dead at home after ironing her trousers to wear, luckily she had turned off the iron.

This is definitely true for my MIL - aged 80 she was very fit for her age, cycling, swimming etc. Aged 85 (now) she is in a wheelchair after a stroke 3 years ago. She's noticeably more forgetful too, and gets anxious about things in a way she didn't used to.

My FIL died aged 84 and started to deteriorate a few years before that (cancer, heart problems, falls, recurring infections).

But for my dad, there wasn't that much difference between 80 and 85, either physically or mentally. He got a bit slower and deafer but nothing too dramatic. He's 88 now and still doing pretty well, as is my mum at 83.

Yes my mil 85 so big change slowed down alot. My own is 83. Wont lie op dread it as my own is hard work.. she good at moment

I’d say the bigger change is 85+. Dad is 91 and just starting to be old. Mum has been old since 85.

My dad was widowed at 77. He’s aged twice as fast ( now 81) . He’s gone from dependent , shopping , driving , gym and sociable. Now , dementia . Can’t drive , doesn’t understand money , won’t go out due to frequent falls and very needy bless him x

It really depends, as others have said it's individual. If someone avoids major illnesses and accidents they may be doing the same things at 85 as they are at 80.

My neighbour is in his late 80s, has had no major health events, and is still cycling and swimming and living independently. But at the same age my mother had been in a care home for several years with severe dementia.

It’s different for everyone & you can’t generalise
my grandad lived to 96, had a heart attack whilst ‘with’ his new ‘younger’ girlfriend & died, prior to this he walked many miles a day (usually for a gin at the golf course), was in fantastic shape, had a wicked sense of humour and lived life to the fullest
My GIL also lived to 96 and was in good shape until a fall at 94 where she broke a hip. She was a sharp & grumpy when she did as the day I met her 20yrs previously.

my mum is 79 but has had dementia for nearly 10yrs, she looks so old it’s wasted her away, she can’t walk, talk or take care of herself - she already looks older than my grandad ever did, that change happened fast
my dad (75) takes after his dad and looks younger than his age, is generally physically in good shape - you put him in a room with my mum and they don’t even look the same generation

it is so individual, you can’t compare

Women tend to live longer, but with more ailments. We are more complicated biologically and have hormonal issues. Then if given birth, that puts a lot on our bodies, not to mention women often do the brunt of child care and go to work.

I think it does depend, my mum has aged a lot in the past 5 years from 66 to to 71. My Dad the same age hasn't so much. It seems to happen in spurts at various ages, my cousin looked so young and fresh in her late 40's long red hair, smooth skin, moved like a young person then by her mid 50's was like a different person, as if she'd aged 20 years in about 5.

For my dad it's been 'how different is 86 to 88'...very different, in that at 86 he still seemed youngish and not too frail, but 88 has really hit. Don't get me wrong, he's doing really well and shouldn't be here with his heart (triple heart bypass at 52) but it still stings. Love him. x