Why do elderly people refuse to drink sufficient fluid?

[Disscombobulated]

I care for my FIL, who lives with us. He has a number of complex medical issues, the most recent being kidney failure and the a UTI.

Despite years of nagging I simply can’t get him to take in sufficient fluids to stay hydrated. He is perfectly lucid (most of the time) but can’t grasp the concept of water improving his quality of life. I have tried literally every angle of discussion… including having pretty brutal conversations about him, his clothes and my house smelling because his urine is so concentrated. He just doesn’t seem to care, or have any respect for me who is dealing with the consequences, such as hospital admissions, clearing up after ‘accidents’ and all the additional cleaning involved.

numerous medical professionals have told him that he must drink 3L a day.

I am now at the stage where I am so frustrated that I don’t know if I can continue to do this.

Any advice would be appreciated, or do I simply let it go and let the worst happen?

Agree

I forgot the puréed vegetables. Also a big part of school dinners. Puréed courgette is snot on a plate and nobody can tell me otherwise.

I second this - I get them for my mother in law, and they work

Perhaps he’d benefit from moving to a care home.
You don’t seem suited living together OP

Yes, British.

The 2l or 8 glasses of water a day was made up by a journalist, not extrapolated from rigorous scientific data.

Snopes have even investigated it and found no sound origin for it: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/water-works-2/

even if you bought into that nonsense, 3l for an elderly, less active man with reduced bladder capacity (because every elderly man has some sort of prostate issues that might effect going to the loo) who will be dreading constantly having to get up to pee is just bonkers.

Can’t believe how many people are utterly gobsmacked at 3ltrs a day. 2ltrs is the bare minimum but in hot weather, pregnancy, illness, activate lifestyle/exercise then 3ltrs recommended.

Your body gets used to the amount and you don’t have the urge to urinate s frequently. It’s a super easy thing to do that free accessible to all and benefits every single cell in your body.

Also 3ltrs is not “gallons”…it’s 3ltrs…

I don't think they move around fast enough to raise their body temperature and work up a bit of a sweat that might make their mouth feel a bit dry and like they need to take in some fluid.

Some people just don't have a strong thirst mechanism. I don't. I can go quite a few days drinking very little and then am surprised if I have a first morning wee and barely anything comes out and it's a very dark colour. So if dehydration can creep up on me I'm sure it happens easily for an elderly person.

I work in elderly care, and we give our patients jelly, ice-cream, custard, soup, milkshake, and regular cups of tea. We also make a fresh fruit salad served with pouring cream, and it all goes towards a healthy fluid intake.

My own mother, however, in her 80's, restricts fluids from 4pm onwards, because she doesn't like needing to wee during the night. It doesn't matter how much I tell her to drink more, she has capacity and she says she doesn't want to.

I mean 3L is quite a lot. I’m in my 40s with all my faculties about me and I’m advised to drink 2-2.5L a day because of medication I’m on. It is a conscious effort on my part.

OP jelly drops are sugar free

Did you read the snopes article you posted? It was not “made up by a journalist”.

From the article:

”The origins of the 8-10 glasses per day figure remain elusive. Some say the number was derived from fluid intake measurements taken decades ago among hospital patients on IVs; others say it's less a measure of what people need than a convenient reference point, especially for those who are prone to dehydration, such as many elderly people.”

Yes i read it - i agree that it doesn’t state “made up by a journalist”, that was my paraphrase of the fact no scientific source could be found for it, but i’m not sure the passage you quote is quite the gotcha you think.

You deal with your FIL's catheter on a regular basis???

As a general guideline, a healthy adult needs around 35 ml of water per kilogram of body weight per day. For example, a 70 kg person should aim for about 2.4 litres (2400 ml) of water daily.

The fact so many people don't drink 3 litres/day suggests its not really "super-easy."

Like I say, I have to make a conscious effort to drink 1 litre water, most days. Even when I run long distances (I run 10-12 miles most sundays) I don't drink anywhere near 2 litres of water, let alone 3. (I do have other drinks)

Would people please try and remember that it's FLUID intake as a whole that's recommended, not water alone. There, I've said it...so take note everyone. 😊

Yes, and his stoma. Your point?

Bit random… I am on the elderly parents board, asking for help with caring for an elderly parent… why does that make you think we aren’t suited to living together?

Why does this make you wince? Perhaps I have used the wrong phrase, I mean frank, honest conversations. He has full capacity BTW

Try icelollies or juice filled sweets

Just want to confirm that 3L of water daily is also what my urological doctors have told me to do. I lost the use of one kidney due to infection and need to keep my remaining one healthy (I have had several kidney stones in the past but none for nearly years since increasing my daily fluid intake (and avoiding foods that may cause stone formation in my case). I don't like drinking neat water, so add a squirt of sugar free concentrated fruit juice.

I guess you're a saint, then.

Not at all, hundreds of people do it. I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic 🙃, but he is able to have a good quality of life with my support.

i am just struggling with the liquid challenge at the moment.

I'm astonished that not only are people ignoring the fact that OP has repeatedly confirmed that yes, the medical advice is that this man with kidney failure should have 3l of fluid, they're also using this as a reason to air their own complexes about drinking water being some sort of sign of weakness. Not drinking enough is a huge cause of ill health among elderly people - who can be really vulnerable to and badly affected by dehydration. Risking that isn't morally superior because you personally think owning a water bottle is newfangled decadence.