Why do elderly people refuse to drink sufficient fluid?

[Disscombobulated]

I care for my FIL, who lives with us. He has a number of complex medical issues, the most recent being kidney failure and the a UTI.

Despite years of nagging I simply can’t get him to take in sufficient fluids to stay hydrated. He is perfectly lucid (most of the time) but can’t grasp the concept of water improving his quality of life. I have tried literally every angle of discussion… including having pretty brutal conversations about him, his clothes and my house smelling because his urine is so concentrated. He just doesn’t seem to care, or have any respect for me who is dealing with the consequences, such as hospital admissions, clearing up after ‘accidents’ and all the additional cleaning involved.

numerous medical professionals have told him that he must drink 3L a day.

I am now at the stage where I am so frustrated that I don’t know if I can continue to do this.

Any advice would be appreciated, or do I simply let it go and let the worst happen?

I've not read the whole thread, so these have perhaps already been suggested, but have you tried Jelly Drops? I've tried to link, but can't but I'm sure you'll find them if you Google. They're sweets which are 95% and have vitamins and electrolytes, designed for the elderly.

You mentioned he likes, but isn't allowed, whisky. That's also now available in alcohol-free versions. https://www.standard.co.uk/shopping/esbest/food-drink/wine-spirits/best-non-alcoholic-whisky-b1135423.html

Not as much liquid content per glass as an alcohol-free beer, but it's one more option.

{mention:stayathomer}@stayathomer Apols this isn't for you I messed up doing a quote.

My mum is not keen on plain water, but finds herb teas more palatable. She makes a litre of camomile or lemon & ginger (one tea bag is enough to make it all taste) and drinks it hot or cold depending on how long it lasts.

3L is crazy. If I drank 3 litres of water every day I’d never get anything done. I’d be going to the toilet every 10 minutes.

To be honest, as a Dr, he has kidney failure doesn't make any sense, the vast majority of patients at the more severe end of kidney failure are actually put on daily fluid restrictions as the kidneys struggle to get rid of water and it accumulates. Most with kidney failure are fluid restricted to 750ml-1l / day intake

I know many old people who don't drink enough, the excuse is that they fear being caught short with no toilets nearby.

Are you a urologist? respecting your position as a doctor please tell me why you know more than numerous medical professionals who have been apprised of his specific condition and informed us that he should consume 3L?

I am somewhat frustrated at the number of people telling me that I am wrong on this thread. I didn’t actually ask for medical diagnosis, I asked how I can get him to drink more as his medical team have advised he should.

You get used to it. I drink 4L a day with tea and coffee on top.

I probably go 8-10 times a day from waking till bed. I drink this much to avoid constipation and because I take laxatives. I do have an electrolyte tablet in one of the pints too.

That said I am able to down my water, a pint or two pints in one go. I'm not constantly sipping, which is probably the challenge that the OP has with her father. My parents would never down a a pint of water, never mind two.

I don't know how you've been so calm with all these idiots who can't be bothered to read the thread or think they know better than his doctors. You're a better woman than me.

I’m elderly and have been told to drink more water because of heart problems. One of my friends advised me to buy an ioniser and drink ionised water. I can offer no logical explanation but have found it easier to drink ionised water - I don’t feel as bloated as I do when I drink tap water.

Interesting thanks - I will try anything

I have been here since ‘09, back then it was usual to get helpful advice on any subject.
on this thread I have been constantly told I am wrong, been interrogated as to my medical qualifications and practically accused of abuse, oh and also someone suggested I put him in a home as they didn’t think we were compatible … FFS, he is practically my dad, I love and cherish him, all I wanted was a bit of bleeding help
to encourage him to drink fluids!!!

I understand you're frustrated, but I agree with@Destiny123 - patients I've worked with who have late stage kidney failure are often fluid restricted. That doesn't mean @Destiny123 thinks they know better than the team supporting your fil, nor does it mean you haven't been told to ensure he has 3 litres a day.

Hopefully you're able to try some of the ideas you've picked up and fil will up his fluid intake.

I look after a lady with dementia but getting her to drink fluids is very hard, so we bought Jellydrops which are 95% her daily fluid intake

The part of the brain that registers thirst powers down as we get older. So, to put it simply many older people will not feel thirsty in the same way a younger person would. If this is accompanied with physical frailty, frequent urge, cognitive decline etc; it's likely the person may not drink as much.

Quite a lot of people don't like just plain water. Try squash, tea, coffee, fizzy water, tonic water, anything for flavour.
I know plain water is good for people but my 94 yr old mum has never drunk just water. Too late now.

I have been giving my Mum bottles of fruit drinks with straws in and she is finding it much easier to drink using a straw .

My DGM kept getting water infections because she wouldn't drink enough. The care home only tested for uti's if we pushed for it and then she'd be put on antibiotics. It was a vicious circle.
As we age, our thirst perception changes and we don't feel as thirsty as we are. Coordination, memory problems and not wanting to keep going to the toilet can also be a reason.
My DGM ended up with sepsis as the last urine infection affected her kidneys and bloodstream. She passed away in January

My granny never drank enough too. She said it made her pee loads and she was sick of always having to get up and go to the toilet, especially during the night when she was finally comfortable.

I actually don't like straight water but much prefer sparkling water with ice and a slice as it has a bit of a bite to it. Try that?

Yes I’ve seen these too or something similar advertised on FB. Apparently the founder of the company made these special sweets for his grandparent or parent for this exact reason. Might be worth a shot.

I'm 75 pretty fit and well really and working part time. I rarely drink water although did when I was a kid. Lots of tea and coffee but I do like the occasional smoothie and the little boxes of apple juice. And the little bottles of yogurt drink that have extra vitamins etc.I don't drink much after about 6pm as would rather not have my bladder wake me up in the night!

Has his appetite also declined. It could be that large quantities of liquid feel uncomfortable and make him feel too full to eat.
Perhaps smaller amount spread through the day would be easier? Try aiming for 50ml servings of squash or juice or whatever he will tolerate to begin with rather than an overwhelming 300ml glass.
Start small, build up to 1 litre (it is better than nothing) before trying to increase his intake to the massive 3 litres which most people would struggle with.

Stair lift so she access the toilet more easily?