High functioning but heavy drinkers in their late 70s

[BoozyBoomers]

My father, who is in his late 70s, drinks 3 litres of whisky a month. It’s only ever as a nightcap, but clearly a generous measure. This has been his habit for 15 years I think. Probably the amount has crept up.

He has half a bottle of wine with meals, 2-3 times a week. Plus maybe 3-4 beers a week.

He is still very energetic and active for his age - doing laborious gardening, walking the dog, and going on holidays and trips. He is mentally sharp, reads books and has no memory issues. He drives his car including on UK holidays.

So I can’t say the alcohol is having a bad effect. But I know drinkers build up a tolerance, and one day their liver will just pack up.

Do any of you have experience with elderly parents who like a drink? What happens to them over time? I just can’t imagine this continuing into his 80s.

Sounds like my dad who is 84. He drinks a little bit less than he used to but still too much.
I can only assume he has been blessed with a very tolerant liver.
All we can do is enjoy the time we have with him. Of course every time the phone rings we worry but that would be the case even if he had always had a perfectly healthy lifestyle.

That's around 50 units a week. I don't know what happens to elderly heavy drinkers as in my family the older members who drink have been put on some medication which means they need to give up drinking or they have decided to cut back in order to be healthier.

Does he have any existing health issues? Alcohol increases your risk of a wide range of serious health conditions including heart and liver disease and some cancers. I imagine liver disease comes on slowly rather than overnight but have never checked.

My mum used to tell my dad she wanted him to live to be a hundred. He used to say what's the point if there's no pleasure in living. While your dad drinks a lot he seems to be coping with it and presumably doesn't want to reduce his alcohol consumption.

Well its not ideal and I expect the Doc wouldn't be greatly pleased but really, at their age, leave them to it. Its not a battle worth fighting.

My grandfather probably drank about that much (to go with all the bacon and cigarettes) and did so happily up until the night he died on his way home from a good evening at the working men's club at the age of 80.

I honestly think if your father is in his late 70s, fit and active, I would leave him to enjoy his life as he sees fit. As someone says above he may eventually have to stop due to medication contraindications though.

It seems fairly unlikely your father has got to the age he is and doesn't know the implications of drinking like he does. Ultimately it's his decision to make, you can of course, depending on your relationship share your worries, only you know whether that will make any impact on the choices he makes but unlikely if he doesn't seen any real impact from it. My father had a heart attack at 78 and gave up alcohol and cigars all together, he wasnt drinking anything like your dad but probably more than he should & decided he wanted to prioritise his health, nothing I could have said either way would have made a jot of difference.

I’m not sure what you’re really looking for here. It may be that his liver goes, but alcohol can affect pretty much every organ, and increase his blood pressure and cholesterol so increasing his chances of stroke or heart attack. Alcohol tends to be metabolised more slowly as we age, so he may become more at risk of falls or even of being caught over the limit the day after.

But he’s a happy, ostensibly healthy man in his late 70s. His “average” life expectancy is late 80s. What would you have him do? I’m very likely closer to him in age than to you and have set my sights on a lifespan of about 85 as being quite enough for me.

I think if your father's GP hasn't spoken to him about it, there isn't anything you can do and I doubt he'd listen to you either. At 50 units a week, he is an alcoholic. If he isn't driving under the influence, leave him to it.

FWIW my elderly relative, who is definitely not high functioning, drank a large quantity every week, was hospitalised after a fall and had to be given meds to wean off the alcohol. Back home and drinking just as much as before. Thankfully can't drive anymore. Absolutely refuses to listen and is quite insistent that its just a 'nightcap'..........

As you age your life, in my experience, gets smaller. Things you enjoy and can actually do, get less and less.

I loved to swim, ten years ago. I couldn't get in or out of the water now.

I loved to meet friends and perhaps enjoy a meal. But my friends are going, one by one. Some from bad health, some have died. And my appetite has dwindled.

I loved visiting family, but I cannot manage their stairs anymore, so cannot get to their bathrooms and my bladder has aged with me, so I need the loo more often than I did.

One thing I can still enjoy is a good red wine. And (to misquote Charlton Heston) the medical profession can prise the bottle out of my cold dead hands.

Leave your parent be, please. This may be one of the few pleasures he still has.

MIL’s partner. Age 75, he’s had cancer given the all clear. He still works full time, physical job. Meat with every meal, every day. Alcohol a few times a week, few beers, few bottles of red, vodka weekly. Goes to parties, gigs, he’s full of energy.
Some people are just lucky.

I would suggest a couple of alcohol free days if you are worried about him but I wouldn’t push.

He has high blood pressure for which I think he takes statins.

He doesn't take statins for his blood pressure, he takes them for his cholesterol.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

I’d say my dad is still as active, and does all the things he did, as 10 years ago. I do worry in future about his life growing smaller yet the drinking remaining the same.

It could even be something as simple as he badly twists his ankle, so he can’t garden or walk the dog, let alone go on holidays.

It may well be that on some level he feels he doesn’t want to live into advanced old age, and wouldn’t want to live a great deal longer than my mother.

Anyway, the alcohol is regulated in the sense it’s sometimes at meals, and always before bed, but not at random times.

I agree it’s nothing I can do anything about. I’ve had a quiet word with my mother about the whisky but she just says he sleeps like a log because of it, yet is still up before 8am every morning.

Ah okay then there’s that as well.

Sorry, meant to add a lot of us over 70s take medication for high blood pressure and high cholesterol. It's one of the "pleasures" of old age.

Im sure he understands the risk but this is his choice. Just be aware that as people age they process alcohol slower. The can become dependent on lower amounts than younger people. It can also increase their risk of falls and osteoporosis. If he drinks every day and is ever in hospital, you should mention it to the medical staff as he could show signs of withdrawal. Just mention the risks then let him make his choice.

My relative, who was a functional alcoholic like you describe, fell in with the wrong crowd and became a non-functional alcoholic within a year or so, but hid it so it took another few years to twig what was going on.

"Broken phone, need to go to the shop" = handbag lost again on a night out.
Spare key constantly missing/in wrong place = been taken to get yet another one cut because theirs is lost.
Visits to the shop with a huge bag every morning = taking the wine bottles consumed in the bedroom to the bin outside the shop so nobody else saw them in the Wheely bin/recycling.
Wheely bin unusually full each week = filled with black sacks of wine bottles.
Those trips to the shop were no longer for food but for alcohol.
Early riser, usually ready and going out by 10am, became not seen before noon and then unwashed and in pyjamas = hungover every day.
Bad tempered was normal but became worse = woke up and has ran out of alcohol/ drinking all day and now argumentative picking a fight.
Memory problems, suspected dementia = drunk! Passed the dementia test.
Weight loss = not eating, alcohol providing most of the calories.
Worsening mobility = drunk!
Falling out with lifelong friends = tantrums due to them trying to prevent excessive detrimental drinking whilst out.

Ended up in A&E following a fall "down stairs" (was found "dazed and confused" ( =drunk) at bottom of flight of steps by member of the public whilst out), but minimal cuts/bruising = had not fallen down stairs, just fallen down drunk. Went for a change of clothes, found a million wine bottles, checked the Wheely bin found a million more, reconsidered the recent-ish changes and put 2+2 together. Informed hospital, who didn't keep enough of an eye, absconded from hospital, returned by police. Dried out over 4 days. Memory issues gone, mobility issues back to previous levels.

But it's an addiction and still associating with drunks, a week later was back in the pub, handbag always by side = spirit bottles in it, nobody must see. Fell again, much much worse injuries. Dried out again, too late, alcohol related brain damage (Korsakoff's psychosis). Spent a few years doolally in a care home before dying.

I agree it’s nothing I can do anything about. I’ve had a quiet word with my mother about the whisky but she just says he sleeps like a log because of it, yet is still up before 8am every morning.

It's a depressant in terms of mood, it depletes necessary things in the brain. In terms of central nervous system it's initially a depressant so helps get off to sleep but after about 4hrs it somehow has the effect of a stimulant and prevents sleep. Sorry I can't be more specific with the science!

My mum is active and fully with it. She reads, loves to talk about current events and does all her own cleaning and cooking. She has wine with lunch and her evening meal and has a whiskey night cap (or several to make herself sleep). I worked out she’s having 60 units a week and has been doing this for years. It seems some people tolerate alcohol better than others. She’s not harming anyone and it’s one of life’s dwindling pleasures

. I imagine liver disease comes on slowly rather than overnight but have never checked.

The liver functions as normal often without any symptoms until it's damaged down to its last 10%, at which point symptoms will arise and bluntly, you're fucked. An elderly alcoholic isn't going to be top of the transplant list.

Sometimes there's a swollen belly. But show me a late middle aged person without a "pregnancy belly" type physique, if not large all over 🤷. IME it's a common physique, whatever the cause.

Liver Function Test just tells you whether it's started to fail, not how much is damaged. An "it's fine" result in an alcoholic is sometimes met by the purchase of a celebratory bottle of fizz on the way home 🤦.

I forgot to say my mum is 88

Wow! Thats good going!

I don’t drink anything like as much in my 40s as I did in my 20s, so I’d thought it would be the same for people in their mid/late 70s.

But seems the opposite now they’re free of all responsibilities.

My parents don't consider their drinking to be a lot - apparently a bottle of red a wine every evening for one parent, sometimes two on a weekend. When parent had sepsis last year, the alcohol withdrawal was horrendous to witness. And hugely delayed recovery. I think the hospital would have acted differently if they had known the extent of alcohol consumption. So make sure it's something that gets flagged if there's a medical emergency.

@ItsNotUnusualToBe i was wondering if my 88 year old mum would suffer from withdrawal when she was in hospital for 2 weeks for a routine orthopaedic procedure a couple of years ago. I can honestly say she was fine with no alcohol and didn’t mention it but after a week or so was back to her normal habit at home. Alcohol makes her sleep well ( I know it’s not supposed to) she goes to bed at 11pm and often sleeps in until 9.30-10am.

My parents are 80 and drink like sailors on shore leave. They take the view that they enjoy it, they don’t have responsibilities as such, are still pretty active and involved in their community. They don’t care if their lifestyle shortens their lifespan and would rather go out bang with a stroke, heart attacks, whatever. They won’t be told that it likely won’t happen that way but there’s no influencing them.

Let him enjoy his life. He's happy and healthy. You don't know what will happen in the future. His drinking may affect him and it may not. To be blunt he could die anytime from any cause unrelated to his drinking. Let him be and have a drink with him!