Moaning but not changing

[Orangesandlemons77]

I'm getting frustrated with this and know I probably just need to let it go, but wondered if others find the same and how you deal with it?

An elderly relative will moan to me about things like for example fuel - they are not able to have a smart meter and have been submitting readings over the phone.

The company queries something, if it was actually her phoning up and she got upset and made a complaint to them.

I told her about how she could use an app on her phone to submit reading s which might make things easier (she does use her phone and apps etc) but no, doesn't want to do that.

This is just an example but every problem seems to go the same way. A moan / complaint, a suggestion from me and then 'no'.

Should I just stop making suggestions? What does she want just to moan?

It’s so difficult not to give advice, isn’t it? That’s a good way. Another way is to frame it as an anecdote “my friend had this problem, she ended up doing …”. My mum used to get irritated by her dad “if I were you, I’d …” and say “If you were me you’d do do exactly what I do”

I think it's connected to upbringing and background too. Growing up, I learnt at school to evaluate and suggest ways to make improvements. Now it's called having a growth mindset and they teach it at primary school. I want to employ people with that mindset and not someone who sits around moaning.

It never seems to have occurred to my mum or her friends that they could do something differently. And maybe even better.