Dr has ‘advised’ that FIL stops driving

[rickyrickygrimes]

What does this mean in practice?

FIL is 82. He’s always been a cautious driver but in the last few years has had numerous bumps and scrapes - none (thank God) involving a person, just other cars / bollards etc. He is very dependent on the car despite living in a city: his mobility has reduced to the extent that he can’t walk to the local bus stop. From observation we can see that his judgment and reaction speeds are too slow.
For the moment the car has a puncture and is parked at SILs place, she is in no rush to fix it.

At a recent rdv with the dr to discuss hip pain, fuzzy head (maybe due to codeine prescribed for pain), general decline, the dr ‘advised’ that he should stop driving. SIL was with him and confirms that in her opinion it wasn’t a direct instruction as such, it was ‘I advise you not to drive for the time being at least’, what does this mean in practice? Are we at the inform the DVLA / inform his insurance stage?

he’s been for a ‘frail older person’ assessment, still waiting for the results.

Dr will have recorded advice in the notes so insirance is now invalid. If FIL wants to drive again he needs to contact DVLA for formal assessment.

Sounds pretty clear that he’s no longer safe to drive. It’s a hard situation. Would a wheelchair or mobility scooter help

I think, keeping it simple, he shouldn't drive until the GP gives him the go-ahead again.

Could he look at getting an account with a taxi firm and getting info on local voluntary driver schemes (often on the council website)? Could he consider getting a mobility scooter, would that help locally?

I would focus on that rather than worry about the licence as such.

The doctor means he should stop driving before he hurts or kills himself or someone else. Like the 70yr old that ran over a little baby in a pram.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13768929/elderly-woman-driver-court-baby-girl-death-car-crash-hospital.html

Depends on the doctor, if he doesn’t take their advice, the doctor could decide to report him to DVLA and then DVLA will take his licence. I would report your FIL myself as he sounds like a tragic accident just waiting to happen.

Can you help him set up a taxi account?

My aunt recently gave up driving at a similar age and after working out what she was spending on her car, was happy to phone for a cab wherever she needs one - even for short journeys. She has an account, the number saved on her mobile and just rings when she wants to go home from whenever.

Obviously doesn't work for rural elderly, but if he lives in an urban area it's just about getting mentally over the idea that cabs are a luxury.

Yea, cabs are much cheaper than running a car. Safer too when it comes to the elderly.

He needs to stop driving. You don't need a doctor to tell you that.

In my town alone, there have been 3 incidents in the last 10 years involving elderly drivers.

1. A 35 year old woman was killed when she was hit while pushing her baby niece in a pram. She threw the baby to safely.

1. A 50ish man working as a groundsman in a cemetery. He was gardening when a 90 year old woman ploughed through a bush and killed him.

1. On my street an 80 something man drove straight through a bay window into a family living room. Luckily the family had just gone to bed.

Also an elderly woman driving on her once a week journey to the supermarket drove into my parked car and wrote it off.

How many more "bumps and scrapes" do you think he can have before he causes serious damage, injury or death?

He's not safe to drive. He / you need to report to insurance as well. It's difficult, been there with my uncle and now mil.

I would be calling the DVLA and telling them what the doctor has said.

I agree with you all.

Unfortunately my dad, who’s an ex nurse, told DH that ‘advice’ is only that, and it’s still up to FIL unless the Dr tells him straight. SIL should have confirmed this at the appt but she didn’t. The Dr didn’t say anything about insurance or informing the DVLA - it would have been helpful if he had.

Again, unfortunately, he’s not my father: his children have to do this. If someone reports him anonymously it’s going to be pretty obvious who it was.

we are in the process of setting up a taxi account, getting him to understand / use it is a different matter.

SIL is keeping the car, which will be taking a mysteriously long time to get the tyre fixed. Both she and DH are agreed that he can’t drive again: it would just be so much easier if the Dr has been the bad guy / more straightforward 🤷‍♀️.

Since he lives in the city this isn’t as difficult as it could have been. Get him a taxi account, but also Uber and any other ride share apps popular in his area. That way if one is too busy, he has the option of trying his backups

he can get used to it while the car is “repaired”. Maybe even travel with him the first time or two if he is nervous.

@Ponderingwindow he can just about use a non-smartphone, anything app based is way beyond his abilities now.

I’ve suggested to DH that SIL could take the first few journeys with him, show him how it works. Unf we are not in the UK and she’s not great at asserting herself with him if it’s something he doesn’t want to do.

Its really difficult. Id get in touch with the GP and tell them about the situation. See if GP can tell him again but more firmly not just advise. Don’t fix his car until he sees the GP again.Maybe you could read through the side effects of his meds with him and if one says no driving tell him it will invalidate his insurance and its against the law. Good luck.

Surely insurance is invalid until such time as he’s been medically advised he’s ok to drive again? If you are told not to drive for 6 weeks after an operation, you don’t have to contact DVLA for formal assessment.

If on the other hand he’s been diagnosed with dementia then I believe he does have to have an assessment if he wants to keep driving

Yes, but this sounds like a more open ended thing

Do you think there's any chance he could get to grips with it, if he had instructions left for him on paper?

We've got my granny set up with a smart phone and a tablet (she's 89) and she can do her online banking, online shopping, online groceries etc. She doesn't use taxis as she's too immobile for that but she can just about learn to use a new app when necessary (the latest success is netflix).

He's potentially got another 5+ years left and it might be of great benefit to him if he becomes totally housebound.

If your sil is in no rush to facilitate the fixing of the car it sounds as if you are not alone in thinking he is unsafe.

When my mother was reluctant to stop driving we made sure that the disconnected wires were "very difficult to fix"... Her mechanic was a godsend in this.

Reporting him to the DVLA is not the only way of making it safer for his neighbours.

We had a car written up off by a woman who had no business driving due to a health issue,we were parked outside a school,thank god it was our car she hit and not a child.

My DH reported her to the DVLA.

Could someone perhaps recontact the doctor to clarify? Even if it's an email to let them know that FIL has inferred that the instruction was advisory only and is planning to continue driving, and that if it was actually an instruction not to drive (which family really support due to their own concerns about safety), then it would be very helpful to have something like a follow up letter. Don't know if the Dr would do that, but maybe worth a try?

If the dr advised not to drive then you don't drive. It'll have been recorded in the notes and that invalidates insurance

I wouldn’t care if it was my father or my father in law I would report him myself and I wouldn’t care who knew. We are all responsible for the safety of not only our loved ones the general public too. If something happens it would be no good with hindsight wishing someone had reported him on the basis that the dr said ‘advise’. If you believe he is unsafe why wouldn’t you report him?

Hello! Why not encourage him to do an assessment at a Regional Driving Assessment Centre? They often assess people who are elderly or who have been driving for years, but have a new disability. After all, the GP hasn't actually seen him drive and he might be completely safe? It's not like a driving test, it's much easier to pass, if they have concerns about his safety they can suggest adaptations to make it safe first, or if it's really unsafe they will tell him why, based on something specific to do with his health/driving ability. Then if he passes, he knows he's absolutely safe to drive and doesn't need to worry about what the doctor said and if he doesn't pass then that's a clear indication that it's time to sell the car and set up a taxi account.

It means he can’t drive. He’s not covered. The doctor is just (unhelpfully) phrasing it gently.

Mobility scooters and a taxi account / Uber membership will help and probably work out cheaper.

Unless he agrees to stop yes inform DVLA.

The OP knows he is unsafe to drive - she’s said his reaction times are too slow and he’s having lots of bumps. So they are beyond this stage.

The RDAC is a really good idea - once the doctor has cleared him. They are really used to having The Conversation respectfully but clearly. But right now, he is not medically fit to drive.