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Elderly parents

Mum's Will

51 replies

PrinceEggward · 12/07/2024 18:49

My Mum is in her eighties and finally made her will a few years ago (after quite a bit of nagging from me and my sister). My sister said that she did it with the help of the manager of her retirement property. I've never seen the will and when I asked my Mum, she said anything left would be split 50/50 between me and my sister. Last year I said to my sister I had never seen the will and she just said, "Oh, haven't you?"

Fast forward to now, my Mum was diagnosed with dementia last year and is now in a care home. She's still with it but can't organise herself so I am currently sorting out all her paperwork and finances.

I've just stumbled across her will. Bar a couple of charity legacies, everything will be split 50/50. However, should me or my sister pre-decease my Mum then that daughter's share will be divided as follows.

Sister
10% to Sister's DH
30% to Sister's Child A
30% to Sister's Child B
30% to Sister's Child B

PrinceEggward
20% to Prince Eggward's DH
80% to Sister

Although we don't have children and I'm not planning to pop my clogs any time soon I feel really upset and angry about this. At the time the will was written, I know that my Mum wouldn't have had the wherewithall to decide these figures. I am also sceptical that a third party would have suggested this and my Mum would have agreed without one of us double checking it. I can only conclude that my sister had a hand in it and conveniently failed to discuss it with me or ensure I got a copy of the will.

I'm so disappointed that my sister thought this was okay. Other than seethe, I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that there is nothing I can do. The last year or so has been horrid. I always thought I had a good relationship with my sister but have seen a very different side to her that I really don't like. This is almost the icing on the cake.Sad

Does anyone have any words of wisdom that might make me feel a bit better?

OP posts:
Frites · 14/07/2024 23:03

Respectfully you sound tired and probably a bit frazzled as many of us carers are. I can sometimes get bitter and twisted with my sibling as they can with me but we are both trying to do our best in a difficult situation and are stressed out. I’d take a deep breath and leave this to one side for now, The will’s obviously not been hidden away as you have easily stumbled across it .
The solicitor i saw for my will asked what would happen if one child predeceased ( touch wood) the donor and the choices about what would happen in that case were discussed . Maybe the person helping your mum asked the same questions.

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