Getting DH to face up to things

[Sidebeforeself]

Hi. Im looking for advice from anyone who has had to get their partner t face up to the reality of their parents decline.
Context is I no longer have my parents. I was a carer for two years and it was a privilege and a strain. I will not go through that again with DHs parents. They live quite far away though so contact with them is all on us. His mother has very recently and rapidly declined. Doesn’t seem to be “there” much of the time and doing silly things such as leaving hob on etc. Struggling to recognise people.
Ive told him he needs to start getting medical support - or at least a diagnosis. His father is physically frail so they depend on each other.
The problem is DH just says “yes” and “I know” but doesn’t act . He is good to them, sees them regularly etc but just doesn’t want to take the next step.
I know I could sit back and say it’s nothing to do with me, but having been a carer I know how hard you have to fight for help. He needs to start this now.

Has anyone been in this situation and if so what did you do that made a difference?

Thanks so much everyone. I do think I need to face up to the fact that I will never just leave him to it ( so no point saying I will) but tell him very clearly what needs to happen, and which actions Im prepared to do but which actions he has to take.

The most urgent thing is a drs appointment re possible UTI, because as you say @Renamed , this will only get worse but is relatively easy to fix and she could feel so much better. I will get him to sort that today.

He does have POA . But its still useless if he isn’t actually doing anything!

Thanks for listening

Update - she has a UTI ! But hasn’t been taking the tablets… So hopefully that will improve things soon. Plus we’ve talked today about more long term help and she is getting some tests for dementia. DH has admitted he has a problem in dealing with this stuff but that ultimately its on him. We’ve agreed he will go over next week to discuss options.

Thanks so much everyone. I didn’t feel like I could talk to anyone in real life.

Positive update in more ways than one then!
Good Luck going forward.. stay strong!