Has anyone's parent had these symptoms?

[BigLittleRedOne]

My mum is 71 - so I don't know if that even counts as elderly, but I am hoping to hear from anyone who has seen these symptoms in a parent..

She lives alone after a divorce from my dad 30+ years ago.

I have noticed a marked change in her in the last 3 years.

She has always been introverted but was always interested in people/new places, and quite adventurous. It feels like in the last few years she has withdrawn from the world into herself.

She cannot contribute to a social group conversation, she either doesn't speak or says some almost nonsensical thing or something irrelevant.

She seems slightly (for want of a better phrase) 'out of it', detached from her surroundings. She will chat to me and to my kids, and close family/friends on a one to one basis but I don't feel like I get much from these exchanges, it's hard to explain but I used to be close to her and now I feel like she's somewhere else.

She seems to have lost the ability to converse and make small talk - she comes across as rude because she doesn't know how to chat anymore. Another change is her table manners have got quite bad - eating with her mouth open, almost like a co-ordination problem.

At a family event this weekend both her brother and sister said they were concerned about her too, commenting on her being detached, sitting on her own, not joining conversations and not seeming interested in the world around her. She also got too drunk too early which was frankly a bit embarrassing.

It feels like she has physically aged in the past few years, her speech seems slightly different (croakier voice), and her walking is slow and a bit shuffly. She has an arthritic foot which doesn't help but I feel her whole demeanour is that of someone much older. She has had a couple of trips/falls in the last few years as well. I think this has stopped her doing as much/going out and about as she has admitted to me she feels more anxious about falling.

I don't know if this sounds like dementia/Alzheimers -she is not forgetting names or words or losing things. It seems like she is almost slightly drunk, if that makes sense!

I have brought my concerns up with her - I said I'd noticed she'd lost her joie de vivre, she said she thought it was being more cautious and also being alone a lot. I asked if she felt depressed, she said no.

She is not good at talking about how she feels, or admitting anything is wrong so I am not sure how to approach this. The other complication is that she doesn't live in the UK, she lives in Europe and the healthcare system there is not one I'm familiar with.

Sorry for the long post but I don't know quite what to make of this or what my next steps should be. I feel like I've gradually lost my mum in the past few years.

Look up the symptoms of Parkinsons Disease - she sounds a bit like my late OH when the disease first started.

How is her hearing? Age related deafness is related to cognitive decline.

Can you go to a GP with her? I don’t know which country she’s in but I think that would be the first port of call in most places? It could be depression as she sounds isolated or alcoholism or dementia or anything really but things don’t sound right.

I agree it's a worrying but non-specific set of symptoms that could be quite a few different things, but the shuffle and vocal change prick my Parkinson's alert. Have you noticed any change in her handwriting?

Definitely worth getting a medical check. Whether it's that, dementia, or simply hearing problems, early diagnosis means a better chance of being able to do something about it.

Yes definitely hearing check, when it’s gradual people do not realise how much they have lost and can become mentally isolated

Thanks for all your thoughts.

I'll look into Parkinsons - are there usually cognitive/personality/social changes with it? I naively perhaps assumed it was mostly a physical condition.

Funnily enough re: handwriting, when she sent me a card recently I didn't recognise the writing on the front, but it was her.

I think depression is likely, and I have a sense she seems to have given up on life slightly. But when I ask she says she's not depressed.

And good thought about hearing, I hadn't noticed any change but it could well be a factor. I'm pretty certain we can rule out alcoholism.

My worry is how to get her to ask the doctor for these tests, she will be adamant nothing is wrong when I ask her.

Another one who suspected parkinsons
Doesn't always cause shakes

I read halfway and thought Parkinson's too. Hope she can get checked out. The medication is quite effective at managing symptoms.

I’ve got young onset Parkinson’s disease and there are many symptoms and they can differ from person to person. The speech, shuffling, falls etc do sound like PD. Look at the Parkinson’s UK website, if you have any questions email them and if needed they will happily call you back if you would like to speak with someone.

The reason I initially went to the GP was because my handwriting became unrecognisably illegible. Now with medication it’s back how it used to be.

I'd agree with possibly a hearing problem. I'm 58 and my hearing has declined steeply in recent years. Conversation is hard work. Our brain tries desperately to piece things together whilst only hearing parts of speech. We often just don't hear or hear wrong. It's embarrassing, we feel ridiculous and frustrated and, worst of all, it's lonely. Others speech, even those very familiar to us, can be so hard to decipher that it's often easier to not engage.

How socially active is she ? Does she speak to people every day?
I'm wondering if some of the symptoms are just from isolation - she's become very insular, voice is croaky because she's literally not used to speaking, poor social etiquette because she's out of practice etc. I have also seen this happen to elderly people.

OP - I had concerns about my dad (turns out he has dementia) .Anyway, prior to taking him to the GP, I emailed them beforehand outlining my concerns as I didn't want him to feel awkward during the appointment. This could be an option for you.

Red flags for Parkinsons I suspect.

I work in Parkinsons disease and it sounds like she possibly has Lewy body dementia with Parkinsons features.
Can she ask GP for a referral either to Mental Health Services for older people or a neurologist who specialises in Parkinsons - this is the pathway in UK for the symptoms she is showing.

I'm an adult Speech and Language a therapist and work a lot with PD/ dementia and other neuro conditions. A lot of these symptoms could cross over. I'd be careful about googling and finding matches because there are lots of things that can cause similar symptoms. I'd definitely speak to GP and may warrant pushing for a referral to Neurologist, it's useful to go with a list of your concerns but anything you're thinking, they will address too

You could have written these exact same observations about my mum. She has a stroke in February but had shown signs of some of these things prior to that

She's less and less socially active, and it seems like a chicken and egg situation where she feels awkward or doesn't seem interested in people like she used to, so she stops socialising as much. In the brief talks we have had about how she is, she has said that being on her own is a factor in her change in outlook.

Thanks - useful to know what the pathway is in the UK. My major concern is how to get her to admit/address that there is a problem.

Really sorry to hear about your mum. Were these symptoms diagnosed prior to the stroke, or linked to it?

Does she drink a lot of alcohol, OP? My DM is a lot like this and it's alcohol related.

This also sounds like my dm who had had a stroke and now likely dementia although I'd noticed the symptoms before that. Mine had similar physical symptoms. She has difficulty following a conversation and says things that aren't related to what we're talking about and don't make much sense. I'd agree, GP

I agree with considering both Parkinson's but also stroke and TIAs...

I also thought Parkinson's. Dad had it. I was a teenage expert on it!

I don’t really post but feel for you. What you describe sounds very much like my dad. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia and later on Parkinson’s. However this was all through lockdown and it was extremely difficult to get a firm diagnosis and talk to health professionals. as a previous poster has mentioned, I suspect the reality was Lewy body dementia and Parkinson’s features (my mum had Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia and “parkinsonisms “). Because of my mum I took him to the gp on the pretext of having bloods etc to make sure nothing physically wrong (long story but he had pre cancerous bowel disease). I wrote down everything that concerned me (handwriting etc) and just gave it to the gp who was very discreet but referred him to a geriatric consultant.