Any recommendations for meal replacement for my Mum please?

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I've had a quick look online and they all seem to be flavoured protein shakes that are dairy based and Mum doesn't digest milk well.

Mum is generally very independent but she has a cold/virus that has turned into a chest infection. Anti-biotics and steroids are helping but she WILL NOT eat. She's basically existing on cups of tea, black because she doesn't drink milk.

I know I'm inviting opprobrium from MN by saying anything at all negative about an elderly person, but she is fiercely independent when she is in good health and an oppositional, uncooperative, martyred, pain in the neck when she's ill. So anything that I buy for her to encourage her to eat has to be really tasty because she's not going to push herself to try it just because I am gently encouraging her to. In fact, I might get better results by just leaving some on her kitchen counter-top without mentioning that it's there.

So, is there anything that you have had when recuperating and lacking appetite or that you have bought for an elderly relative/friend that went down well?

I've already suggested soup, which is something that I love when I don't really want to properly eat. Apparently, she never eats soup, like never in her whole life, and she's definitely not doing that now. (She has, obviously, we had lots of really delicious soup when I was a child that she made from scratch.)

Ensure do make a vegan/plant based meal replacement drink. You can buy it on Amazon, not cheap, but worth it if your Mum will drink it.

Maybe you get a milk alternative. I’ve been taking Alpro Oat Barista style. It’s delicious. Would she take some cereal with that instead of milk. Or what about making a shake with it. Add some fresh fruit or buy a protein shake mix. Or maybe she’d eat some stewed fruit. Finally ask GP for advice.
Hope you find something to tempt her.

All Huel products are dairy free, and they have a range of different types of drinks, meals, and chocolate snack bars.

She has fruit and stuff, she just won't eat. I've been going in to her and making lunch but she doesn't eat it. She says she will but when I phone later to ask what she is having for dinner she will say that she's going to eat the lunch, but then I don't think she does. She would definitely sneer at anything new like fake milk and she doesn't eat cereal. In fact, considering how much she complains about 'fussiness' in other people (eg not wanting to eat coleslaw over a week out of date), she is very hard to buy food for.

I see that Ensure do a juice bottle, it has why protein in it but no lactose so it might be ok for her. It's only 200ml so she might go for that.

Glucose C. It's powder you add to hot drinks or cereal for energy. It's not as sweet as sugar. It's great for getting over that hump after illness when you have no energy to do anything including eat!

Vegan desserts?

https://groceries.asda.com/product/pudding-pots/alpro-dark-chocolate-dessert/1000000464443

Milkshake made with oat milk?

My dad has esure drinks (but not before a meal time as it fills him up too much!)
And he has been having creamy puddings / rice puddings

Chopped up mixed fruit (might put cream on it). Porridge. Baked potatoes. What did she like before? If it was curry or spag bog, pizza try that. If I'm unwell I just want things I like not things I should have.

YFood are lactose free and have vegan drinks. I really like them - they taste like milkshakes.

Ensure is lactose free, supplements are available on prescription

How old is she?

Fortisip

Fortisip is milk based.

Woukd she eat a bowl of jelly and some tinned fruit in a nice China bowl? Sometimes things from childhood can tempt them?

Swedish Glace do a DF icecream, maybe add a scoop of that?

*would

Those Alpro pots are nice. Not a proper meal replacement, but some calories at least.

Similarly, the Coconut Collab chocolate pots and salted caramel pots. And they are tiny, so might feel more manageable. https://coconutco.co.uk/products/little-chocolate-pot

Is she more likely to eat something that the Doctor has prescribed? I know my DM did - because obviously only a doctor can prescribe proper food 😂

She's 83, generally in good health except for a bit of arthritis and the current viral infection.

That sounds like a familiar story!

Please don't give her anything Lacto free unless you're absolutely sure her allergy is to the lactose and not the protein. I'm allergic to the protein and anything with dairy in would upset my stomach for a couple of weeks. That would add to her problems, not ease them

Soup, good old lucozade, protein bars. Xx

The digestive discomfort is mild and it's not an allergy afaik, she eats butter, yoghurt and small quantities of sauces that contain milk. I just know that she wouldn't have a milkshake. It might even be that she just doesn't like milk. To be fair she has never claimed a milk intolerance or allergy, just refuses milk and if pushed says that it doesn't agree with her. I think she considers allergies to be a moral weakness or something, she is very insistent that none of my many allergies and intolerances came from her side of the family, if they even exist outside of my imagination.

Have a look at Huel. But you should be able to get Ensure or Fortisip on prescription. DH does.

Don't you just love Mums!

My DM insists that she's not allergic to milk but keeps going to the doctors with indigestion. I keep pointing out that the indigestion only occurs when she's had cream or cheese and has she ever thought of not eating them first a couple of days and they me, DD and DSis are all allergic to dairy.

She still keeps on eating it though 🤦‍♀️

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar Your post made me so sad.

My Mum was very much like this (without the viral infection). She just became less and less interested in food. It became a battle ground between us. Me determined to find something anything she would eat, her digging her heels in more and more. It kind of soured her last few years with us.

years later, my appetite has dwindled as I've aged. I now eat, at most one meal a day, and I'm full. I'm aware that my daughter is at pains to ensure she packs as many vegetables into that meal as is humanly possible 😁.

please don't do what I did and allow something like this to turn into a battle. Try (as I failed to do) not to take it personally or to feel this is a problem which you alone must solve. If your Mum has capacity (your post suggests she does) in retrospect I'd have told my Mum the facts about what failure to eat, even when you're not hungry can do then I'd shut up.