I don't want to be an executor on mum's will ...how difficult is it to change the will and am I right in asking for it to be changed ?

[bizzey]

Gosh ...sorry ...I think I put it all in my opening post !

I am exceuror.

I don't know what it really means .

I was for my dad's Will...but I was very ill after his death and it caused me no end of problems trying to sort things out.

Can I pass all that sort of stuff over to a solicitor or someone?

Simple estate ...1 house ...split x 3 .
type of thing .

But I can see it getting complicated.

Thanks.

If is is split 3 ways, do you have siblings to share the burden?

Yes. You can pass it all over to a solicitor to deal with.

I am sole executor on my parents' wills, I do have a sibling but I am the older of the two and in their wisdom, they decided I should get the job. (Thanks folks). Dad died a couple of years ago and I sorted his estate myself, just getting the solicitor to check the forms before submitting to court - we are in Scotland and it's not that easy. But there was no property involved, no debt - just accounts and policies. When mum dies things will be a lot more complicated with accounts and utilities and houses to be sold, so I will most definitely be letting the professionals handle this. My sibling is fully on board with that but even if they weren't, it's my decision as sole executor.

House will be split X3 .

But it looks like I will have to do all the " work " to do it .

I would like someone else to do the paperwork sort of thing .

There's nothing stopping you from being the executor by paying a solicitor to do it for you. But bear in mind, the solicitor will still ask for details of assets - they're not psychic, much as they would love to be.

Where do you see it getting complicated?
Do you generally trust and get on okay with your siblings?
Are you worried they, or someone, will cause trouble in some way?
Talk us through it and the lovely people here will do their best to suggest possible routes to take.

In my own experience, the trouble with making a solicitor or bank an executor is that they have NO incentive to get a wriggle on and there's nothing you can do about it.

By contrast, if you are the executor but hiring them to work for you, you have a lot more leverage, and ultimately can always get someone else in or DIY if they fail to make progress.

You can also get a solicitor in to do bits. I did the straightforward bits - totting up the accounts and filling in the probate form - but for solicitors in to deal with a more complicated bit (the house being left in trust for X but Y getting the right to live in it first).

Good idea

As an executor you can decide to instruct a solicitor to deal with it. You remain as executor and still sign things, but you don't have to do any of the onerous paperwork - you give them everything and they do it all.

I have been Executrix now for three family members. I just gathered all the relevant paperwork for the solicitors and then liaised with them as you work through the process. There's a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, but it's not too onerous if you have a decent solicitor.

I honestly don't blame you. I was the default executer for my grandmother's will. My dad (her son-in-law, my mother died years before) was executer but is totally useless at paperwork and in his 80s. It's like having an extra part-time job as well as your own full-time job for six months or so. In fairness the solicitor she had written her will with was absolutely useless.

The will doesn't need to be changed.
You can renounce your appointment as executor after your Mum's death if you wish but someone else will need to be appointed, either an individual or a professional.
It's simpler and probably slightly less costly just to employ a solicitor to act for you.

I will try and condense it !

Mum 85
3 children ( ds,dd, ds ) me DD.

Grandchildren x 3 ...my children (adults now)

(Brothers have no children and are not married..well they are divorced I think 🤔?)

(Technically I am still married to my husband as we have still not divorced after 15 years !)

When dad died 7 years ago .I dealt with all the paper work and stuff and complications.

It was a nightmare.

But I did it and kept all the issues and problems away from mum to make her life easier.

I then became very ill with all the strain and stress of it all.

When this time happens ...I know it is going to be worse for me.

The other 2 siblings think they will be getting money from the sale house straight away !

I know that could take 9 months plus.

I think I would like someone to take over all of that .

But I also want to have a say ...in that ....let's wait a bit ....I have not completely emptied the house yet ...that sort of thing.

2x siblings will not be supportive at all.

I had to arrange all of dad's funeral and wake.

But I did have mum to bounce and check ideas around.
As I wanted it to be how she wanted it .

I suppose am trying to prepare my self this time .

How much does it cost to use a solicitor?

Is it per will ?
Or an ongoing fee per year ?

The house sale will be managed separately to the probate stuff, we are going through similar with my fil and getting a solicitor to do the probate and then the house sale manage with estate agent and a conveyancer

Price depends but ours is 4K plus vat worth it for us as the house is 750k so enough to avoid the stress

Just get a solicitor and pay them out of the estate

My mums will was very complicated and she made my son executor which I was fine with in theory but in practice organisation is definitely not his forte. We handed everything over to a solicitor who sorted it . For us it was completely stress free and worth every penny that we paid the solicitor.

I agree with the suggestions to hire a solicitor to do the more complicated stuff.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply .

I really appreciate it

I think I need to do some phone calls to the bank I think who made the Will and go from there.

And ring around some other solicitors?

I don't think the bank will have made the will - it will be with the solicitors. The easiest thing is just to get the solicitor firm which made the will to execute it, some will do it on a fixed fee, most likely they will charge an hourly rate and should be able to give you a ballpark figure up front. It's important to remember that you don't pay this money - they take it out of the deceased's estate.

Side issue.. think about a divorce.. your husband is your next of kin still.. think inheritance, your property , medical decisions for yourself.. custody of your children if under age...
Look after yourself..

My Mother in law named her solicitors the Executors of her will, the bill was in excess of £15,000. I think it's best for a family member to be named Executor and they can instruct a solicitor to complete work on their behalf, they can then have some control over the fees.

I completely understand how you feel - I’m the executor for my mum and it’s hard work!
things to consider:
Have you got the original will yet?
Have you notified the banks etc about her death?
Employing a solicitor won’t necessarily mean you don’t need to do anything - they will still expect you to provide all the paperwork for them to submit probate.
Id advise you to arrange a one off appointment with a local solicitor who deals with probate. Take everything you think might be relevant. Ask lots of questions and make lots of notes. Then decide if you still want them to deal with the probate.
Note that if you want a solicitor to take over as executor, this will likely mean the estate will take up much longer to settle. You could use the same solicitors to sell the house too.
There’s no rush to sort out your DMs house. You could even employ a company to empty it and pay for it from the estate.
This is going to take time - I’d say at least 6 months from first applying for probate to selling the house.

What was the worst bit of being executor for your Dad?

Are there things you can ask your Mum to do now which would cut down on the complications?

(I was executor for my Mum and just had to gather in and close down all her accounts, fill in Tell Us Once, flog her car, get the solicitor to do the house related paperwork, and fill in the probate form. Luckily didn't have to clear or sell the house or deal with squabbling beneficiaries).

Btw look up "grey rock technique" for dealing with fractious relatives!!

You could list what, if anything, you'd be happy to do . Is mum still alive? You could appoint a solicitor to deal with her will, probate, tac, debts, assets , the house sale and everything financial. Ours is charging 1.5% of the estate value. Its taken a year and we still haven't had everything finalised yet.