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Elderly parents
Original poster

I don't understand the point in buying a home when all the fees go to care

223 replies

whatwhatinthebutt · 14/08/2023 19:48

I hear 'you need to leave something to your children' but then what if it all goes on care?

You had a home that you had to maintain and repair, but you can't leave it to your children because you have to go into a care home.

It seems wrong or strange, because why are we told to do this if it's so likely it will all go before the children benefit from the hard work of the parent?

Care home fees seem to be something around 2 grand a week, so 10 grand a year. How long to people usually last in care homes? Is it oftentimes they die in there?

And how does it work? Say my dad goes into a home, they force me to sell the house to pay, I get a lump of cash, then just give that to the care home and I get what's left when he dies?

OP posts:
EvenlyDetermined · 14/08/2023 19:52

Most people will have paid off the mortgage years before they need a care home and be better off then in rented. Many never need to go onto one at all. Many will have enough left to leave some to their family once the fees have been paid.

Bethanbee · 14/08/2023 19:53

It saves you paying rent until you have to go into a care home I suppose. Plus a lot of people don't go into care homes. I don't know anybody who has had to go to a care home. It is not guaranteed.

Lapland123 · 14/08/2023 19:53

It’s all rather pointless tbh, you’re spot on.

There’s no real incentive to work hard and try to buy property. It’s a huge struggle with wages so out of sync with property prices. Everyone is rinsed for tax anyway so the government can pay themselves for HS2 projects, PPE contracts etc.

At the end all the effort for property goes on care.
I would like a real conversation about assisted dying, as I absolutely do not want to be kept alive using up money for no quality of life in a care home.
I would also like a real conversation about where our extensive taxes are going, and where the incentive is to attempt property ownership

PoppityBoo · 14/08/2023 19:55

£2k a month? That would be v cheap. My grandma’s are nearly 4k a month and that’s residential care not nursing…

swanling · 14/08/2023 19:57

You buy a home to live in it and have a nice stable home. If the investment then also enables you to have good quality care then great.

Original poster
whatwhatinthebutt · 14/08/2023 19:57

Bethanbee · 14/08/2023 19:53

It saves you paying rent until you have to go into a care home I suppose. Plus a lot of people don't go into care homes. I don't know anybody who has had to go to a care home. It is not guaranteed.

Yes I'd be happy to help my dad as he gets older. I could get carers' allowance. I work from home flexibly currently.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatwhatinthebutt · 14/08/2023 19:58

Lapland123 · 14/08/2023 19:53

It’s all rather pointless tbh, you’re spot on.

There’s no real incentive to work hard and try to buy property. It’s a huge struggle with wages so out of sync with property prices. Everyone is rinsed for tax anyway so the government can pay themselves for HS2 projects, PPE contracts etc.

At the end all the effort for property goes on care.
I would like a real conversation about assisted dying, as I absolutely do not want to be kept alive using up money for no quality of life in a care home.
I would also like a real conversation about where our extensive taxes are going, and where the incentive is to attempt property ownership

I'm secure in social housing but not liable for things like repairs. I can buy but not sure it is even worth it.

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 14/08/2023 19:59

Surely tho it's better to have your own money/property to pay for a better standard of care in a care home than the 'free' one?

donkra · 14/08/2023 19:59

A very small minority of people ever go into a care home at present, and most people who do go in are there months rather than years

Feel free to shoot yourself in the foot by living in rented property all you like if you can't bear the thought that your property might pay for you to be taken care of in the future, but it's stupid, melodramatic and self-defeating.

CuriousGeorge80 · 14/08/2023 19:59

Buy a house for your family. Live in it. Pay off the mortgage. Kids leave home. Sell and downsize to a mortgage free house. Use money you make on the sale to live a great retirement / hand over to kids at least 7 years before you die. Go into a lovely home that you would never be given if the state had to pay for it, paid for by the proceeds of your downsized house. Die.

Sounds loads better than: rent a house. Live in it. Keep paying rent even once you have retired. Have limited funds for your retirement, and limited to give to your family. Go into a state funded, low quality care home. Die.

I realise the above is quite simplistic and of course it can work in different ways depending on when you go into a home, when you die, how much you have in your pension etc. But I know which of the above I would prefer.

Round where I live a mortgage payment is still less than rent for an equivalent property. The issue is the deposit, of course. But if you have the deposit you are much better off buying a house than renting generally, even if at the end some of the house value is spent on care homes. And of course, many people never go near a care home.

Clefable · 14/08/2023 20:00

It's only something like 15% of people over 85 end up in care and a much smaller percentage for any length of time, so there's more likelihood of someone not going into care than otherwise.

MySerenity · 14/08/2023 20:01

2k a week would be 104k a year?

whiteroseredrose · 14/08/2023 20:01

It means you can go into a nicer care home because you can afford it. Looking round for PIL the cheaper care homes that were also used by the council were awful. The house has been sold to pay for a nice one.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 14/08/2023 20:01

'you need to leave something to your children'

Says who?

If you own your home you can't get turfed out like you can if you rent; once your mortgage is paid you keep more income; you can sell and downsize and spend the money or give some to your kids. Only a small minority go into residential care; some receive care at home but many need no care at all so most homeowners do leave an inheritance (if that's your primary concern). If you self fund your care home is likely to be a lot nicer than if it's state funded.

Corrag · 14/08/2023 20:02

Not everyone ends up in a care home. Four of my elderly relatives have died in recent years. Only one was in a care home and that was only for 6 months before she died. None of the houses were affected.

There's no doubt it happens but I think it's over exaggerated on MN, often by posters trying to convince people that renting is best.

catsnhats11 · 14/08/2023 20:02

I don't have children to leave my home to.

However I may have 20+ years between retirement and a care home.

I won't have to pay rent or worry about being made homeless (compared to private renting of course not council where I guess it's paid for/secure).

If I need a care home can pay for one of my choice rather than whatever Im given.

I can downsize and release money.

I can leave property to a charity of my choice.

That's the theory anyway, who knows how it will pan out!

Nevermay · 14/08/2023 20:02

I don't find it pointless. My mortgage was cheaper than rent, for one thing, and now the mortgage is paid, I have lived here without housing costs for 10 years, and intend to continue for another 30! My children also can live here rent free while saving for a deposit themselves. Then it might be sold to pay for a care home, true, but it would have been worth it.

WeWereInParis · 14/08/2023 20:03

And how does it work? Say my dad goes into a home, they force me to sell the house to pay, I get a lump of cash, then just give that to the care home and I get what's left when he dies?

And you would prefer him paying rent during his retirement, rather than having a house he's where paid the mortgage off?

And besides, not everyone needs care. My grandparents still live completely independently, as in no paid carers who come in at all, and are 97 & 98. Even if they both needed to move into a home tomorrow, they've had 30 years retirement living rent/mortgage free, with the security that provides.

How long to people usually last in care homes?

I believe that sadly, it's often not that long.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/08/2023 20:03

90% of people don't go in to a care home.

catsnhats11 · 14/08/2023 20:03

Ah forgot that one, yes I currently pay half for my mortgage of what my neighbours pay on rent.

Simonjt · 14/08/2023 20:04

A very small percentage of people end up in care homes, for many buying is a lot cheaper than renting. If we had rented our flat it would have been around £1,200 PCW, it certainly isn’t £1,200 PCW for our mortgage, not only that, but our mortgage will be paid off in 11 years, where as rent is for life. If either of us do need care in old age, we’ll have the luxury in having greater choice as we will be able to use property to pay for our care. If I need care in old age, there is no way I want to end up being placed in a home that will take me, I’ll be using cash to make sure I can get the best home available to me.

Caspianberg · 14/08/2023 20:04

My grandfather was panicking about care home fees for my grandmother. In the end she only survived 10 days more after being moved from hospital to care home. Cost about £3k for someone to care for her 24/7 her last few days and help make her comfortable. Bargain imo

cyncope · 14/08/2023 20:04

I bought a house so my children have somewhere to live as children, not to leave to them when I'm dead. That seems a weird way to look at things.

Surely you want to own a house so you have a home, cheaper than renting usually and once you're retired and have paid off your mortgage you won't have housing costs?

PuttingDownRoots · 14/08/2023 20:05

My parents have really benefitted from London house price rises.
I actually find comfort in that they will be able to afford more than basic care on the very likely (for them) scenario its needed.

Runnerinthenight · 14/08/2023 20:05

I think you'd be mad to rent and pay off someone else's house if you have the option to buy.