95 year old grandfather wants to marry 40 year old

[Fedupwithfamily123]

Name changed for this as it's very embarrassing. 95 year old grandfather wants to marry 40 year old and change his will to leave 50% of everything he owns to the woman. He is very wealthy but unbelievably stingy. He made my mum and her siblings suffer to the level of almost starvation as children while he has several flats, houses, million pound businesses etc. there was also a lot of domestic violence involved.
they mended their relationship as adults (I don't know why) but the stinginess continues.
And then he suddenly comes up with this idea to marry this woman because he complains that he is lonely and he has no one to take care of him. It's not true because my mum is always there for him after all he did. he is very strong and healthy, still able to work.
I don't know what to expect from this thread. My poor mum is heartbroken and the financial element is secondary. She felt unloved her whole life with a father who would abuse them and my grandmother and now she is seeing him being loving, kind and generous with a random stranger.
Everyone who knows her thinks she is an angel and I hate seeing her suffer.

Have you met the 40 year old? Is she genuine?

Can you convince your mum to go no contact with him? Easier said than done but I'd be inclined to just leave him to it...

Oh behave!!! What 40 year old marries a 95 year old wealthy man for anything other than money

It sounds awful for your mum
i agree with another poster who said to go no contact :-(

The things people do for a hand job

Sad but true

The man's a selfish prick

I doubt it.

She needs to leave him to it if he's compos mentis.

TBH she should have gone no contact with him years ago. Had she ever had therapy for her trauma?

Are you really that naive?????

He isnt going to change now, he appears to be someone who is emotionally absent so will continue to be (to his own family)

If he has capacity theres not a lot to be done except detach and accept the situation

I would just leave him to it

Your mother needs to just leave him to it and keep contact to a minimum . I would imagine it will eventually pan out that this woman gets left everything - sorry

he is very strong and healthy, still able to work.

At 95? Wow!

I think you will have to just leave him to get on with it. Doesn't sound like capacity is an issue at all.

Good luck to him, I am sure her motives are pure.

Ah that's horrible, she's clearly just in it for the money, but I suppose if he has full capacity then not much anyone can do really.

Is it too late to go to the police about the abuse? In prison he'd need permission to get married...

This happened with an elderly distant relative of mine. He was a sweet old man and she was clearly after his money. Closer family started asking questions and checking how genuine she was, and she soon disappeared.

He wants to buy a nurse who is with him 24/7. I’d leave him to it tbh, he sounds like an incredibly selfish person from your mums childhood so I wouldn’t waste feelings on this.

He still works at age 95?

The forty year old will push him down the stairs if he's fit and healthy as there is only so long you keep up the pretence of enjoying sucking off a nonagenarian.

I know it's unbelievable. Seems to have very strong genes, his own grandfather lived to be a 100 or something apparently. He doesn't do anything heavy but fit enough to leave bed every morning without help and go to his office for a few hours. He worked in a profession that required him to be physically very active until his 60s which probably helped.

Having just watched The Sixth Commandment, I think you need to be very, very suspicious of the motives of the 40 year old, especially if a will change is involved

So mummy and uncle confronted her. They both have children about the same age as her, really cornered her asking her about her intentions and advised her to leave this bs.
Obviously she played the innocent card and sweared she isn't after marriage or money, she was just trying to be there for this lonely old man. She was very apologetic and embarrassed but I'm aware this is probably all act.
"The lonely old man" clearly bought her with his lies like a proper narcissist. He is never ever left lonely, my mum always invites him for dinners, celebrations and he never shows up.
Then he finds out about the confrontation and asks his children to stay out of this and not nose his business and that he is determined to marry. I bloody hate him.

I think so too. DM tried to warn him - he barely knows her. When he is at his most vulnerable God knows what she could do to him. He was really flippant and blaze about it, he thinks he is invincible because he is loaded.