My Mother and I have a terrible relationship, the usual toxic mother stuff. She’s just had cancer removed and they’ve now discovered she has much much more cancer to be dealt with. She also has stage 4 vascular dementia. So the issue is that she refuses to talk to me or my father about her illnesses. I have 4 sisters and my mother only talks to 2 about her issues. Those 2 just do not impart any info and it’s like drawing blood from a stone to get any information from them. But the current thing I have is that she has just been diagnosed with even more cancer, and this time perhaps not curable. She’s my mother and I love her, but she won’t let me in. She has hurt my emotionally my whole life. I am asking anyone how they felt when a toxic parent dies. I am worried about how I am going to feel. I strangely feel I will be devastated that she never showed me love before she dies. I feel I need that for closure. But even my most recent phone call (2 days ago) was cut short because she started to turn nasty in the call. I just don’t know what to do to protect my feelings whilst obviously caring for her when she won’t let me. I feel I am in an awful predicament. Any advice from anyone who experienced the death of a toxic parent would be welcome please. Thank you.
WorriedDaughter12 · 06/08/2023 04:16
Interesting point that actually I will not get that closure and I need to just work on accepting that before it eats me up. My mother had a great life, wanted for nothing so I will not be looking at her with pity regarding how she treated me.
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