Dads had a fall & hospitalised

[Scoobydo87]

Hi , I’m at my wits end , my mum sadly passed away during Covid so my dad lives independently on his own in a small park home . Around 6 months ago I got him an alarm bracelet in case he fell .
On Thursday morning I phoned him as usual but no answer so I thought maybe he’s having a wash but he didn’t phone back which isn’t like him so I decided to go to his house

On arrival I noticed that the curtains hadn’t been opened & I panicked and ran in he was on the bathroom floor he hasn’t been wearing his bracelet .The poor man had got up for the loo which is usual had a dizzy spell & collapsed he had laid there all night 😢

He was taken to hospital they’ve picked up on a couple of health issues that can be treated as our patient .

He is trying to walk with physio but is petrified he’s going to fall which is fully understandable after what he’s been through he’s 84 & has osteo so in pain .They are thinking about rehab

However when I went to visit today he was wearing a nappy . He was fully independant a couple of days ago using the loo and even getting up during the night to use it

I questioned a nurse and she said all elderly that are in bed wear nappies . Now while I fully understand that the nhs are very stretched and short staffed they do a wonderful hard job

I don’t want my dad to get into the habit of using a nappy this would be a down ward spiral he would become incontinent .
I appreciate that the nurses don’t have time to grab a commode for patients but Im outraged that my dad can’t use the loo
It’s a well known fact that the elderly decline in hospitals and it’s an east option for the staff to stick a nappy on them
Another thing , On the day he was taken into hospital he was in shock & using a cup with a spout , today he wasn’t shaking & I persuaded him to drink from a normal cup

tomorrow Im taking under pants to the hospital and the nappy is coming off
If my dad becomes incontinent he’ll never be able to go go home
please don’t judge me but I seen all
this with my mum the difference is my dad has his faculties

I hope your father improves. It's so hard & sounds very much like my father went through. Sadly he fell on the ward & broke his hip & never walked again.
As an aside, please don't call the pads "nappies" when you are talking to him. Please call them pads.

I’m an ex physio and this has been an issue for years and years…elderly people can only improve if they get the support to practise their mobility, little and often is always going to better than the one session they may get with a physio. supporting someone with independence in personal care and their mobility is the role of all ward staff not just the physio and ot team…. and this is why good staffing on wards is crucial and sadly is always going to be kicked to the bottom of the priority list when nurses are struggling to do their specialist tasks, medication etc. leaving continent people to wee in nappies is not dignified and is bad for pressure care. Do try and speak to the physios, they may be able to show you some exercises you can help him with when you visit.

Have they said why your dad hasn't been transferred to the stroke ward?

Dear all , Thankyou all so much for your replies & advice to date my dad is still in hospital & hasn’t been transferred to the stroke ward as there isn’t a bed . It’s bank holiday as well so I won’t speak to a Dr until Tuesday

Mischance Im so sorry to hear about your oh and feel your pain as it’s heart breaking 😢

Im still very annoyed about the PADS which they continue to put on dad even though I leave clean boxer shorts .

My poor dad wasn’t incontinent a week ago but he said he’s too scared to drink too much as he rings the bell for loo but the nurses take too long to come consequently he’s had a couple of accidents .

Hes been put on a drip twice for being dehydrated so they hydrate him and expect him to soil the pad I’m so angry atm
There was a man in the bed next to dad one day he waited 50 mins for the commode

This is one reason elderly people decline in hospital !

Physio’s come to see my dad once a day for max 5 mins which isn’t enough , my dad is now high risk fall prior to falling he used a stick .
My oh and I got him up walking for a bit yesterday I’ve watched the Physio’s and my dad knows what to do .
my dad needs support getting out of bed and using the commode
I wanted to pay for a physio to visit him but due to insurance etc I’m not allowed

Sorry to hear things aren't much further along OP, it sounds like your dad is doing well despite everything.

Personally I would be pushing for that stroke ward. I doubt it is full of 'stroke patients'. Take a look at the NICE guidelines for stroke and the ssnap targets, it states how much therapy time each stroke patient should be having etc.

Thankyou Hairyfairy01, my dad has been in the hospital a week now thankfully no paralysis it’s really just his legs . I will look at the nice guide lines Thankyou again

This concerns me

My poor dad wasn’t incontinent a week ago but he said he’s too scared to drink too much as he rings the bell for loo but the nurses take too long to come consequently he’s had a couple of accidents .
Hes been put on a drip twice for being dehydrated so they hydrate him and expect him to soil the pad I’m so angry atm
There was a man in the bed next to dad one day he waited 50 mins for the commode

It's so sad. I am sorry that you are struggling in this way. How wonderful that he has you fighting his corner - but you should not have to of course.

Hi Mischance, it’s so worrying & stressful . We lost my mum 4 years ago she was at the same hospital after suffering delirium after a knee repalcement she never regained her faculties become incontinent & we had to make the heart breaking decision to place her in a nursing home as she needed 24 hour care .
My dad was with her every day from morning till to night until we went into lock down so no visitors my mum sadly passed away 3 weeks later .
Im now fighting my dads corner in the same way but thankfully he has his faculties

I am a community carer and have been for 30yrs and this makes me so cross on yours and your dad's behalf .Your dad doesn't need the pads by the sound of it but is being put in them for the nurses benefit .This is not acceptable it is taking his dignity and not only that if he is not drinking properly not only will he become dehydrated he is at real risk of getting a UTI ,urinary tract infection and they can be nasty .Do you know how regularly they are changing the pads at all they should be changed regularly .Honestly we dread any of our amazing people we care for going into hospital for this exact reason the care is often shocking .I am by no means saying all nurses are the same but over the years I started care in my early 20"s elderly care has been sliced and diced no money put into it .

I know it can be really difficult to complain but please speak to PALS , patient liaison and document everything ,That poor man waiting 50 minutes is nothing short of abusive it is certainly a true lack of care .Does he have a social worker at all .Also mention that you are fully happy to write to CQC if the standard of care does not improve greatly .It is their job to care for your dad .If your dad States that he does not wish to wear pads and he is able to tell when he needs the toilet then they have absolutely no right to put a pad on him they have to gain consent .If a person has capacity then consent must always be gained no if's no buts .

Hi Pinkyandthebrain96, Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply , your advice is greatly appreciated. I’m at a loss I’ve asked the nurses so many times not to put pads on my dad he’s going to end up with a break down of skin which will lead to more problems
My dad is 84 maybe he’s consenting but he tells me that during the night nobody comes when he rings his bell for the commode .
Ivd had a word with the nurses about this .

Over all I have to say that the staff are lovely but maybe a bit lazy when it comes to getting people to the loo
A week ago my dad was living independently it’s shocking .
Hes currently in a general ward after a stroke but apparently there isn’t a bed available
Im not sure if he’s better off where he is or on the stroke ward

If you feel strongly enough OP about the pads and a lack of a bed on an appropriate ward, do consider talking to PALS

Have you had a chat with the ward sister or manager on the ward? If he has had a diagnosis of an acute stroke he deserves a place on the stroke ward, where care, and physio and OT, will be more focused on rehab. Have they talked about discharge plans at all?

You are most welcome . I think to be honest your dad would be better on the stroke ward but if they can't do that then they still need to be offering him some form of rehabilitation but the stroke ward is where he should be .You are right about your dad's skin breaking down that will happen if they continue to use pads but change them infrequently .The longer he is in the more the need for rehabilitation increases as with no rehabilitation there is a risk he will become less independent .There should be a plan set in place to assess his needs at home .Ideally an OT should have a meeting with you both to see what can be put in place at home to assist your dad with his needs .Do you think he will need care when he gets home to help him ,they need to be setting the wheels in motion if he does ,your dad would have to consent.The emphasis should be to help your dad to stay as independent as possible while keeping him safe . The nurses should be answering the buzzers at night sounds like using pads avoids this .As it stands at the moment they are de skilling your dad rather than rehabilitating

My dad will definitely need extra help Im not quite sure what’s going to happen
They now want to send my dad to rehab miles away where he won’t get any visitors as we don’t have a large family unit it’s just me and my sister