Dementia and Broken Hip

[WhereAreMyAirpods]

Dad has had dementia for around 5 years now and has deteriorated fairly rapidly over the last 18 months or so. Had a call from mum late yesterday afternoon, he'd had a fall, couldn't get up. Ambulance was called (and arrived quickly), DH and I dropped everything and jumped in the car - we are 2 hours away. Long story short is that Dad has broken his hip and needs an operation today.

Surgeon was careful to stress the risks of such a major operation in a man who is weeks from his 79th birthday. Mum wasn't really taking that in. I got the impression that they are expecting Dad to be in for weeks. He was very confused in the hospital, did recognise me when I arrived but was extremely agitated, shouty.

Not really sure what I am asking here. Anyone else had a parent go through similar? I'm not sure he'll ever be well enough to return home to be honest, the mobility issues coupled with the dementia might be just too much for my mum.

I'm so sorry. I totally get what you mean about feeling you lost him years ago. Best wishes.

So sorry to read your update though I think you had a wise consultant. Like so many I've been through this too and it has made me wish that euthanasia was legal

@WhereAreMyAirpods I'm sorry to hear this. When I saw there was an update I feared this would be the outcome. It's all about "least worst" in these situations.

There is never a good outcome with dementia - it's always going to go one way. Dad was physically well before he broke his hip with no major issues with heart, lungs. And SO strong. Poor nurses trying to get him to allow them to take a blood sample. But it was the dementia which meant he wasn't able to understand his situation and cooperate with the physio, or realise that yanking out your catheter probably isn't wise.

We were initially told the high percentage of elderly people who die shortly after a hip fracture but at first it looked like Dad was going to beat the odds.

Someone said to me this week that dementia takes people from you twice and that's so true.

I’m so sorry. Dementia is a total head fuck no doubt about it. A strange mix of grief and relief when your loved one dies. Give yourself time to process all the emotions (there will be many), thinking of you at a difficult time.