Boredom

[SilverGlitterBaubles]

DPs are complaining about being bored and it is getting them both down. They are both fit and well although had some problems in the past which led to them being extremely cautious about Covid. In fact I think that they still live in fear of this and constantly watch the news thinking the world is a very bad and scary place. They don't have many hobbies, don't like eating out or travel. They complain if we do not visit but complain if we do when DGCs have coughs and colds as they are super cautious about getting sick. I'm at a loss as to what they can do as they keep complaining that they are bored but everything I suggest they shoot down. Anyone else experience this?

I think volunteering would be good for them.

Or have a look at local age UK website for things near you, there will be guided walks, coffee mornings, men in sheds, walking football.

If they like walking, I'm sure their will be a walking group local to you. One near us meet via coach so go further out. Look at meet up it's just not for youngsters or just Google.

Join your local u3a group www.u3a.org.uk/ there will be lots off group activities out there.

If determined to not go out then knitting, crafting, puzzle books, jigsaws, model making, play video games, diamond painting, cross stitch, paper flowers, scratch art, paint my numbers, rock painting, colouring, board games. Take them to your local hobby craft I can never go there without coming out with something to add to my to do collection.

If they say no to all that, then tell them to shut up and stop moaning if there not going to try something.

What's their financial situation like? I suggested to my dad that he returned to work as he was only on state pension and very small workplace pension. He now does two days a week at a supermarket and seems much happier, its physical work so he's happy pottering around on his days off.

Mum is difficult though. She's unwell and has never had any hobbies. I've given up making suggestions to her. She's only happy when we take her out for the day but seldom do as we have to pay and her walking is so slow it limits where we can go. She also purposely makes things difficult (I. E will not budge from her very limited routine then complains we don't visit).

@PorePatrol So good for your DF I like to think I will keep working in some capacity for as long as I can. I think they are ok financially and lucky to have final salary pensions although with costs rising they are feeling this like everyone.

There are on line volunteering options as well. Do it.org.

Tried this with DM. Basically she wanted me to drop everything, emigrate 🙄and sort her life out for her (aka live with her and sit and watch TV). I did have some sympathy because she'd spent years looking after people (us as children and then her DM) and was at a loss what to with herself, but she was solvent, healthy and mobile. But nope, all that was up to me to sort out 10,000 miles away.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain I feel an element of this guilt, our parents worked hard to provide for us. However I also feel like why put the guilt on your adult DC to sort out your life when you are still perfectly capable of doing this yourself.

To be honest I feel the vast majority of older people get like this. Their hobby becomes moaning, about the state of the country, the neighbours, how no one visits them etc.

Same as I’d tell the kids, only boring people are bored.

it is a persons own responsibility to find pleasant and meaningful activities for them to do. Don’t try to fix this, it is for them to fix themselves

My parents at the age of 75 have just taken up Bowls. They really enjoy it and have met up socially with other members as well.

OP, you are not their Entertainment Convener! This is not your problem to solve, it is theirs. Stop setting yourself up to fail - you are just in an endless loop of making suggestions which they then reject.
I have been retired for six years, and all my
friends and I keep active with a variety of hobbies and interests, from bridge to photography, fishing to table tennis, volunteering, church, u3a, holidays, seeing family etc.
Just tell your DPs that if they won’t go out for fear of covid, they will have to find ways of amusing themselves at home - there is no magic solution that you can provide.
A slight concern is that stopping social
activities can be an early sign of dementia - you might need to keep an eye out for deterioration on that score. But otherwise, let them get on with it.

Are they together all the time as well. It really is boring not to have time apart as you have less to talk about. I remember this from lockdown.

Family tree (or you do it and try to get all their memories from them while they are still compos mentis)
Boom Radio - can't recommend it enough.
Jigsaws
Go for a walk every day
WI or U3A
Volunteering

It's the "yes but" game isn't it?

www.navgati.in/games-where-all-players-lose/