End of life question - sad subject

[SunsetSkies11]

My lovely dad is now at the end of his life. He has dementia, and has recently suffered a stroke. The doctors withdrew feeding and fluids, we are now in the heartbreaking waiting for the inevitable stage.

His oxygen saturation level is showing 65 on the finger monitor. It was 75 earlier today and has been dropping all day.

I'm now left wondering the question no one knows the answer to... how long do we have left?

I'm so sad.

I am so sorry for your loss.

My dad died on 29th May last year and reading these posts has taken me right back to those last waiting days.

It is so hard but I strongly believe a privilege to be there with someone in their last days and moments.

Sending much love and strength OP xxx

@SunsetSkies11 ❤️❤️❤️

So sorry for you loss, when I feel sad I try to remember good and / or funny times with my Dad, I find it really helps, rather than thinking of the end x

I am sorry for your loss but glad that his pain was being controlled and it did not take too long.

So sorry for your loss and glad he slipped away peacefully. Thinking of you

So sorry for your loss

Thank you for your kind words and thoughts everyone. I found comfort in your guidance in his final days and I am grateful for that - it hadn't occurred to me to talk to him about some of the stuff that has been mentioned in this thread. I'm so glad I did.

So sorry for your loss OP. I’m going through the same thing with my lovely mum now. She has advanced dementia and in a care home and all fluid and food was stopped on Monday, although she was barely having anything before then. It’s just a case of waiting now but reading the advice on this thread is really helping. She is asleep and not in any distress so I hope she manages to just slip away peacefully.

I'm Sorry to hear that @Turquoisesea You and in my thoughts.

Now I'm a week on from my fathers death, in hindsight The best thing i did was to talk to him and tell him how happy his friends and family would be to see him. I told him I was ok, that he'd be ok and it was ok to stay as long as he liked, but he could leave whenever he wanted to.

I'd never thought about the inevitable moment he would leave this world. Someone earlier had some good advice for when it happened - don't panic or rush about. Acknowledge the moment and send him on his way peacefully. That's the Best thing I did.

Thank you @SunsetSkies11 mum died peacefully on Thursday morning and I was with her and told her everything was ok and she would see my dad and all her friends and family again. I’m so grateful for the advice of a previous poster as I also sat with her for 10 mins after she died and didn’t rush to call anyone and it made the moment so peaceful. I feel she had a very peaceful death and I was with her and for that I will be forever grateful. Sending hugs to everyone else who has gone through or is going through anything similar x

I've been looking at readings for the funeral and came across this one. This isn't the right poem for us to have at the funeral, but by gosh those opening lines hit right in the heart. I know so many of you have been in the same situation I have recently, and whilst I was able to find comfort in the final days of my dads life, sometimes you just need a little trigger to help the grief on its way. I read this earlier today and it absolutely floored me because the first few lines are so accurate for me.

Sadness warning... it's a beautiful poem but could be very emotional for those recently bereaved.

We saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be –
So I put my arms around you
And whispered, you’re safe with me.

With tearful eyes I watched you suffer
And saw you fade away –
Although I loved you dearly
I could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating
Your beautiful smile at rest –
Life broke my heart that day
When time took one of the best.

It’s lonesome here without you
I miss you so each day –
My life just isn’t the same
Ever since you went away.

When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong –
I imagine you gently whispering,
Cheer up and carry on.

Each time I see your picture
You seem to smile and say –
Don’t cry, I live on in your heart
And will do every day.

@Turquoisesea