Money woes

[Borntobeamum]

My mum is awaiting an appointment at the memory clinic, they are trying to speed it up as she’s in a care home and causing havoc!
She’s suddenly become obsessed with money, or lack of it.
She has plenty in the bank, together with a house we will need to sell in the new year.

Unfortunately she wants actual cash in her purse. She carries a handbag around constantly and always had cash in her purse. She now gives it away to other residents so the notes are being kept in the safe at the care home and she has a few coins in her purse. These keep being doled out and then she gets annoyed when they’re not given back to her.

Despite me telling her she has no need to worry about money, what can I do?!

Ideally I could source some old notes (no longer legal tender ones) that she could count but they’d have no monetary value if lost/given away.

Any advice gratefully received x

If it were so easy….
She’s a wonderful mum but rather a snob.
She doesn’t like costume jewellery.

She told a family friend that I’ve taken her rings and sold them for £400.

Has she been tested for a UTI? Elderly people who have lost a partner often neglect themselves, become dehydrated and get UTIs. The symptoms of a UTI can mimic dementia. I've seen this happen with so many old people.

You're not failing her. You're acting in her best interests.
My MIL is in a care home now, we never say 'no' to questions like 'are you taking me home today ' but will say that we can't do that today because we're not going home yet. Being politely fobbed off seems to work quite well.
With dementia you have to remember that there's no point reasoning or explaining as they won't remember. You have to say something that comforts and reassures in the moment. So instead of saying that she can't have notes, you say you have forgotten to bring them today but will bring them another time. Next time, same again but be prepared with something interesting or engaging to show her instead.

Search for prop money (used in films) rather than play money

or fill the purse full of fivers so the loss is minimised as much as possible.

Sympathies and hugs to you, it sounds so hard. Might a cheque book work, she may be of an age where this is familiar to her and you could reassure her that the people she wants to give money to can take a cheque?

You poor thing that's very difficult for you. My grandmother also became money obsessed as she got older. In her case no care home needed as she was fine and well able to live at home but yes obsessed with money when she'd never been like that. Once my uncle brought her lovely flowers and she belted them off him and said she'd have preferred the tenner or whatever they cost.

@Borntobeamum Try these. If it’s good enough for film and tv, it might just be good enough for your mum.

www.prop-money.co.uk/faq