mum dying - what do I need to know for afterwards

[ClosedAuraOpenMind]

My mother is dying. She's been in hospital since October with heart and kidney problems, but has now had a stroke, and has lost her swallow reflex
she refuses to tolerate any tube for feeding, but does have IV fluids
emotional stuff aside - which is complicated for various reasons - how long is this likely to last for?
and afterward, I know she has no will, but there is a house, with a small mortgage
what do I and me tow DBs need to do afterward (in Scotland, as law will be slightly different here)

I had an unattended cremation, followed by scattering his ashes at a local natural burial ground. (He was a retired professional gardener, so it seemed appropriate)

I did call in a solicitor to make sure the property transfer forms were done correctly and the land registry had the right stuff on. But just getting them in for that was a lot quicker and cheaper than getting them to do probate so I'd definitely DIY probate again and just pull in the legal eagles as and when needed.

Twenty-two years ago, I was in your position and here are some of the things that I wish I had been told or done, as well as the things we did that worked well.

Set up a WhatsApp or Facebook Group so you only have to share news once with friends and family.
If your mother was at home, I would tell you to talk to her McMillan nurses about pain relief as they are able to give morphine whereas the Locums cannot after Shipman.
Talk to the undertakers now and get estimates, you are not being odd, all the people I called told me how sensible I was and that it was better to do it now than when you are in a pickle.
Book an appointment with the Registrar as soon as you can, it will take several days to get an appointment. Organising a funeral will take you longer than you think, think two to three weeks and probably add another two weeks at this time of the year.
Choose readings that mean something to you and your family.
Get at least 10 copies of the Death Certificate.
Make a list and share the actions, you do not have to do it all.
It will hit you like a ton of bricks when it happens, no matter how well prepared you think you are.
There is no right or wrong way to do this, whatever way you do it and whatever way gets you to the other side is right.
Clear out clothes etc, as soon as you are able and give them to charity shops in other towns, not where you live... you do not want to see your mother's coat walking down you high street.
Ask friends if they would like a memento of your mother... my best friend has her mixing bowl, as that is how she remembers my mum.

So sorry you are going through this.

There are different ‘scales’ of Direct Cremation. We attended. Sat with our parent (in a basic coffin) in the crematorium (you can have up to 6 attendees, I think) listening to music that we had specified in advance, said ‘goodbye’ and left. It was calm, dignified, very personal between us m, their children and grandchildren, and cost about £900 all in.

Think about anything you would like to send your Mum off in? Clothes? A token of remembrance or something favourite? We dressed our parent in a favourite outfit.