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Elderly parents

Hand hold

52 replies

strokefil · 07/12/2022 23:20

Wise MN I have NC for this thread. Probably need a bit of a hand hold too if that's allowed.

FIL in his 70's was admitted to hospital yesterday afternoon and we had it confirmed that evening he had suffered a severe LHS stroke. He was treated within the golden hour with the clot buster treatment which we were grateful for given the current wait times at the local A&E's (he was taken to closest to incident hospital rather than transported to his 'home' hospital) which is a 45min car journey each way along with having to taxi MIL too as she doesn't know the way. I've already suggested that DH he gets her to drive tomorrow so she learns the route.

They've since done more tests and have added atrial fibrillation to his diagnosis. His speech is unaffected however he it is very scrambled.

They've also told us today that they can't do anything further at the moment and it's a watch and wait situation as any further treatment just now could cause another stroke or a heart attack. If he manages to rehab in some form they've prepared us that he will most likely need a wheelchair for mobility and need adaptations at home.

He is NBM and has a NG tube / fluids at the moment as he doesn't have a safe swallow reflex. He has had B&B accidents, I'm surprised they haven't catheterised him?

I have no idea how to support DH with this. He is in bits. My dad passed away from a catastrophic heart attack so I've never had to deal with the aftermath of a parent being unwell.

I'm trying to stay positive and hang onto the hope however I know it's going to be a very long and difficult time ahead.

We have also found out our IVF round has been successful (4 weeks) so trying to manage that too as don't want to tell anyone about our 🫘 🧬 before 12 weeks at least in case things go awry.

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 12/12/2022 03:26

Would you consider telling Fil about your pregnancy?
Might be important to your DH that he knew.

Congratulations and thinking about you.

strokefil · 12/12/2022 22:05

@stayathomegardener we have as he can't spill the beans about 🫘 to see if that would settle him. Thank you for the congratulations and holding us in your thoughts.

Still no change, DH and MIL are there again tonight. My amazing SIL managed to tear them all away for a shower, change of clothes and some hot food. DH also has a bag with clothes and toilet bag in it with him now as I dropped it off at B&SIL house earlier today. BIL is stopping at home tonight as our oldest nephew isn't coping too well with everything and he is going to sit in their house tomorrow waiting on the boiler engineer. It's -9 here tonight 🥶

The nursing staff said at 6 tonight that he was fading however he rallied about 8pm.

OP posts:
Candleabra · 12/12/2022 22:10

Sending love to you. The vigil at the end is so tough. Look after yourself

Snowdropsarelovely · 12/12/2022 22:22

Sorry to read this, I hope that things go as well as they can and that your FIL is peaceful. Congratulations on your pregnancy FlowersFlowers

strokefil · 13/12/2022 23:19

No change with FIL again today. They withdrew his fluid bags in the early hours of the morning.

To add to the chaos I've tested positive for COVID today too 🤦‍♀️ fortunately I'm not too unwell, have the broken glass sore throat and just not 'right' Ddog and I have spent the evening dozing on the sofa

OP posts:
user432900976 · 14/12/2022 01:52

Sorry to hear you have covid. It's all coming at once, FIL, boiler and covid.
Is he improving at all?

Anewuser · 14/12/2022 06:29

Sorry to hear that you have covid @strokefil. Hopefully you'll have a mild case and just the excuse you need to rest.
If they've withdrawn fluids is that because FIL is now drinking independently? Seems unusual.

PritiPatelsMaker · 14/12/2022 06:33

You poor thing. Hope you and DDog get to spend the day on the sofaFlowers

Geamhradh · 14/12/2022 06:37

Sending gentle good wishes for you all.
Someone on MN held my hand when my Mum was dying and we were waiting and even though I've namechanged a million times, she hasn't, and every time I see her post it reminds me of how kind strangers can be.

strokefil · 14/12/2022 07:47

Morning, FIL passed away early hours of this morning. He's at peace now. Thank you all for the handholds and support 💔

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 14/12/2022 07:48

What a difficult time you're having right now. I hope you don't feel too rough with Covid

rainbowstardrops · 14/12/2022 07:49

Oh bless him. Like you say, he's at peace now Flowers

Candleabra · 14/12/2022 07:49

So sorry.
Hope you feel better soon (what terrible timing)

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 10:47

I'm sorry for your loss OP. Flowers

Anewuser · 14/12/2022 10:55

I’m sorry for your loss, as you say, he’s now at peace.

Take care of yourself.

Malbecfan · 14/12/2022 10:57

I'm sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. And do update us on your pg xx

Mum5net · 14/12/2022 11:22

Goodness, you and your DH have been through the mill. Sorry for your loss. Hug that dog and take care as best you can

PermanentTemporary · 14/12/2022 11:28

Oh my goodness, sitting with my Mum today who became very unwell. Thinking of you.

hoochyhag · 14/12/2022 11:37

Thoughts and prayers with you @strokefil Flowers please rest as much as you can.

Geamhradh · 14/12/2022 12:42

So sorry, OP.

Hugs to you as well @PermanentTemporary

PritiPatelsMaker · 14/12/2022 16:25

So sorry stroke.

And hope that things improve for your DM Permanent Flowers

Defender90 · 14/12/2022 16:38

I am so sorry for your loss OP.

33goingon64 · 14/12/2022 16:44

You sound very supportive. I went through similar with both my parents in last 3 years and DH wasn't anywhere near as thoughtful or concerned as you clearly are. Hope it's a good outcome. But if not I'm sure you'll be fine as you have each other.

33goingon64 · 14/12/2022 16:45

Sorry, didn't read to the end of the thread. Sorry for your loss.

Borntobeamum · 14/12/2022 18:02

Hugs 💔