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Elderly parents

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Original poster

Not fit to drive…but what to do?

67 replies

Eek3under3 · 12/09/2022 14:53

Family member (mid 80s) is not fit to drive. Medical issue that would automatically mean they are not allowed to drive if declared to dvla, along with total disregard for other road users/ pedestrians.

Lives rurally and relies on car but is (literally) an accident waiting to happen. Multiple people have witnessed them mounting the kerb, parking on junctions/ blocking the road, actions that have caused various other vehicles (including a bus) to swerve into oncoming traffic.

wwyd? Feels like a moral obligation to do something…but what? Has been spoken to a number of times but gets v defensive. Even if they were anonymously reported to dvla I doubt they would stop driving.

help!

OP posts:

forrestgreen · 13/09/2022 17:03

If they don't care about the dvla, then notify their insurance also

alexdgr8 · 13/09/2022 17:10

inform the police.
or crimestoppers. anon.

Sniffypete · 13/09/2022 17:10

Report to DVLA. If they then ignore then report to the police. They will be done for driving without insurance (as it will be invalid) and the car confiscated.

ivykaty44 · 13/09/2022 17:12

You explain that as they haven’t reported to DVLA their health condition they are driving illegally and therefore the insurance and drivers license is invalid

or report to DVLA yourself that this person needs their licence removed Here

EndTheMonacyNow · 13/09/2022 17:15

I had this problem with a family member and had made the decision to report him. We told him knowing their might be massive fallout but he took it amazingly well and didn't drive again. He knew he wasn't fit to drive.

If you know he is unfit then I think you have to report him to dvla.

Fuuuuuckit · 13/09/2022 17:29

Many years ago a neighbour managed to drive 100 meters across a dozen gardens after pressing the accelerator and not being able to work out how to stop. Fortunately nobody was injured. 2 years later he was killed at the wheel in a similar incident involving no other drivers/pedestrians. Undisclosed seizures.

Please report OP and disable the car. The consequences are unthinkable.

OnTheRanDan · 13/09/2022 17:33

My DP has an autoimmune condition and on diagnosis his consultant said he would be contacting DVLA about it.
DVLA then took months to send paperwork for further investigations and reports from various sources (GP, optician, consultant)
At one point we discovered his license had in fact been taken away. You can look up the DVLA website I think to check this.
It got reinstated after all the reports finally were checked by DVLA.

olympicsrock · 13/09/2022 17:36

It’s not the GPS responsibility to inform the DVLA. They are not the SS. Patients are supposed to contact the DVLA themselves, but members of the public can if they are concerned.

Supersimkin2 · 13/09/2022 17:39

Report to dvla.

Get rid of car - if they’re demented they’ll forget they can’t drive and set off merrily.

If they do this, call the police to get them stopped.

Hyacinth2 · 13/09/2022 17:42

Aren't people to get an eye test every ?3 years over 70 - have they done that ?

Supersimkin2 · 13/09/2022 17:43

One of my demented relations killed herself losing control of her own car in her own yard.

She didn’t have Alzheimer’s that badly - but she forgot how to drive.

So yes, take action.

Hyacinth2 · 13/09/2022 17:48

Also have to inform DVD's of any new medical conditions

Newgirls · 13/09/2022 17:56

running a car and insurance etc isn’t cheap. Maybe add that up and think how many taxis they can get instead. Might help to soften the blow.

Babdoc · 13/09/2022 17:59

One of the young female surgeons at my hospital narrowly escaped being killed by a demented old lady who drove 5 miles up the wrong side of the M90.
The surgeon swerved in behind a van when she saw the car oncoming, and it smashed head on into the car behind her, killing both drivers outright. The innocent victim was only in her twenties. Please remove the car keys OP - don’t wait to hear back from the DVLA.

User354354 · 13/09/2022 18:02

My family had this issue a few years ago. We pleaded/reasoned and begged my great aunt to stop driving.

Offered to take her where ever she needed to go. She was an insistent, stubborn woman.

In the end my brother picked her car up and drove it to his house. She stopped talking to us all for a few weeks, but soon got over it.

None of us family would ever have forgiven herself if she had got into an accident and injured herself or anyone else.

Original poster

Eek3under3 · 13/09/2022 18:13

I hadn’t seen all of the replies until now so sorry for the late response.

In answer to a couple of points - no chance of moving - Lived in the house with late spouse of 40 years and the emotional ties are understandably v strong. And….hiding the keys would be tricky. No one goes in the house apart from 2 family members so it would be obvious they had moved them.

I’ve spoken to DH about it all and we’ve agreed to do the dvla report tonight. I feel awful but it’s necessary.

OP posts:

REP22 · 14/09/2022 10:13

I think you've made the right decision OP. I feel for your predicament, it must seem like a "betrayal" of your relative. But it's really not. If you saw a little toddler about to put their bare hand into a pan of boiling water, you would stop them and take away the pan. It's a bit like that - they aren't able to see the danger and make the decision to prevent the consequences themselves, so someone has to do it for them.

A difficult and distressing decision and simple action taken now is likely to save you - and your relative - suffering and anguish later on, as well as removing the potential dangers to others.

Best wishes to you. x

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