Sorry this is along post!
Our DF has been advised to set up LPAs as he has recently been diagnosed with dementia. We understand that the LPAs for health and welfare and for property and affairs need to be set up whilst he still has capacity to do this.
We currently have a problem as my DS and I have different opinions on how it should/could work. I completely understand that it is my DF's (the donor) decision as to how the attorneys are appointed. In discussions with our DF he says he wants us both to be attorneys but thinks it doesn't have to be both together (jointly) for everything. He understands this is just not practical.
My DS thinks we should be appointed jointly "as that is fair" and "everyone will know what is happening". I have explained that this is not practical and would put time constraints on us both and that we can have some method of communicating what transactions or actions have been taken. Also there may be times when we just physically can't both be there to deal with something. DS is OK with both having to be together every time we need to do something for DF but I am not. This is not just because of my family commitments/holidays etc but also because it can limit the access to accounts e.g. bank will not issue a debit card if joint attorneys so you cannot go and do the shopping for DF and pay by card. Also I believe that if appointed jointly that the LPA would become null and void if one of the attorneys was unwilling or unable to act (unless there was an instruction added to the LPA that the remaining attorney could act solely if this situation arose?)
My DS if appointed jointly, wants to draw £1000 out in cash and then keep that to pay for items/shopping for DF. Is that permitted for joint attorneys?Has anyone experience of doing it this way? I know receipts could be kept etc. Personally I prefer to pay by card/shop online etc and wouldn't fancy having large amounts of cash around the house or in my purse.
I'm concerned that the LPAs won't get done whilst we are at this impasse. I have suggested going to a solicitor but my DS says there is no need for that. DS has asked Citizen's Advice some questions about it, but won't tell me or our DF what they are, and does't seem to have had a response several weeks later (I got a response from them within 24 hours). I've also given her the OPG contact details but when I asked her if she would contact them with her questions to be able to move forward with this she just said "maybe". Has anyone else been in this situation and is there any advice you could give about anyone or any organisations where we could go to get help to move this forward?
I have asked DS if there is some reason she doesn't trust me and that's why she would prefer it to be joint for everything. DS says no to that. I have monitored DF's finances for several years and assisted with house/car insurance and energy providers to get best deals. Also, I've worked in finance for over 30 years so feel competent in dealing with someone else's finances.