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Elderly parents
Original poster

Dad has stopped eating.

135 replies

Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 15:13

My Dad hasn't really ate anything since the beginning of May. He says he just has no appetite.
He has had bloods done at the GP and then got called for a lot more. A gastric consultant is going to phone him next week for a telephone appointment after he has reviewed the blood results.
I feel that him and my mum aren't being pro active enough. I went around today and he was in bed. I said to my mum that I thought he should be in hospital and she said that she was going to get my dad to phone the GP tomorrow.
She admitted he fell at the weekend but was on cyclizine and was hallucinating on it so has stopped it. If I had knew when he fell I would have phoned an ambulance.
Mum did say she told him he was going to starve to death if he didn't start to eat.
Its such a drastic change in him. He has always been super fit especially for his age.
He hurt his ankle playing golf and then took siactica and has gone downhill so very, very fast
I don't really know what I want from writing this. I'm just so worried and at a loss Sad
I don't know if my mum wants me to take control over the whole thing or not. She's usually pretty on the ball but neither of them even know what the bloods are for or why he's getting a phone appointment.

OP posts:
greymayday · 15/06/2021 15:20

Sorry to hear this OP Flowers Unfortunately I do have to say that the hospital weren’t very good with my DF when he didn’t eat. He stopped eating for weeks like your dad, with his being due to cancer. When my mum would phone and say he literally hadn’t eaten a single bite of food for days they’d take him in, run some tests and then just discharge him the next day. We all sort of felt like he’d just been written off as a gonner, it was awful.

Will he drink? Could he have Fortisip shakes? They are what my dad ended up exclusively living on.

Stealthynamechange · 15/06/2021 15:22

Hi I'm sorry you are going through this.
I'd call his GP to get an urgent appt today or failing that call an ambulance myself tbh. It sounds like he might need to be in hospital esp if not drinking.
Just a note on the eating, if it's as bad as you suggest suddenly increasing his intake can be dangerous and cause refeeding syndrome.
Take care xx

Stealthynamechange · 15/06/2021 15:23

Just to add i would suggest you dont give him fortisip/ensure etc without GP or Dietitian advice due to the refeeding risk x

Hax · 15/06/2021 15:24

How old is ge and how is your dad's hearing? I ask because telephone appointments can be very difficult for the elderly. Could you be there for the appointment and get him to use speaker phone? The appointment is quite quick so I wonder what the bloods showed.

Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 15:26

Thank you greymayday, he is drinking water and lucozade. He said to me he just has no appetite and can't even eat a treat, iykwIm? , just to get calories in him.
This started with him being constipated, but seems to have blown up all of a sudden. His GP seems to have been on the ball.
I do think he may have cancer and that why the quick timing of blood tests. He never remembers what was said in the Drs , but Im not sure he's actually asking much.
It's just so frustrating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 15:31

Oh sorry didn't see the other posts.
Mum said she will get him to phone the Gp tomorrow I told her she should phone and ask for a home appointment.
I'm going to go around tomorrow and see him, I want to take him to A&E. He was there the other week but it was about his back pain. Personally I think its being caused by something more than siactica.
Can you phone an ambulance in a case like this?
He 77 and hearing is ok but he never really understands anything, he just lets it go over his head, always has done.

OP posts:
Stealthynamechange · 15/06/2021 15:50

If hes off his legs after a fall you can call for an ambulance, i'd try urgent gp appt first though.

Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 15:55

I will thanks.
I didn't realise he had failed so much because I've been ill for weeks myself so haven't been round.
I knew he was in A&E that time because I was there with a pulmonary embolism.
I think at the start even he thought the appetite loss was due to the pain in his leg. He kept saying if he could just get it sorted he'd be fine.
If Mum or him don't phone the dr tomorrow I'm going to have to. It's a nightmare trying to speak to one at the moment.

OP posts:
Mrs08 · 15/06/2021 15:59

Really sorry yo hear this
Would your dad drink things like fortisip or complan?
He must feel very weak

Mymapuddlington · 15/06/2021 16:01

Really sorry. My dad stopped eating, went for bloods and was diagnosed with cancer Flowers

Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 16:04

I did take him Complan a couple of weeks ago.
I took soup around earlier but I'm not holding much hope for it being eaten.
He told me himself if he manages 2 rich tea a day that's his limit.
He did go to a physio yesterday about his pain, mum drove but said his clothes are just hanging on him.
I have to take DD to work early tomorrow so will call in on the way home and if nobody has phoned the Dr I will.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 16:05

@Mymapuddlington

Really sorry. My dad stopped eating, went for bloods and was diagnosed with cancer Flowers
This is what I'm expecting.
OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolapew · 15/06/2021 16:05

Sorry about your dad Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolapew · 16/06/2021 10:27

I phoned my mum this morning and he's stopping the painkillers he's on to see if it helps. Hes on very strong co-codamol. He seems fixated on the pain in his leg, the fact that he isn't eating doesn't seem to be a priority to him.
I took fruit loaf round yesterday and he ate a slice and asked for a Crunchie this morning!
Mum asked if he wanted to go up to the hospital last night but he said no. I've said to see how he is off the tablets today but if there's no improvement I'm taking him up tomorrow.

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 16/06/2021 10:28

He 77 and hearing is ok but he never really understands anything, he just lets it go over his head, always has done. Has he had his hearing tested? What often happens is that you lose the high frequencies, so you feel your hearing is OK everyone thinks your hearing is OK, but it becomes difficult to hear sounds like "s" "sh" so speech requires an effort to understand and it's easy just to let it drift past you. RNID site has a quick screening test you can do at home.

If hes off his legs after a fall you can call for an ambulance, i'd try urgent gp appt first though. Falls are low priority for ambulance if you're still breathing and conscious, so it can be a long wait, depending on what else is happening. I second the going for an urgent GP appt.

if he manages 2 rich tea Would he replace the rich tea (there's a misnomer!) by jaffa cakes or custard creams? At the moment it's pure calories you need rather than healthy eating. Is it worth adding a teaspoon of sugar and a pinch of salt to any glass of water he drinks? - just something to look up not a suggestion. I have no medical/nutritionist quals whatever, just going from parental experience.

Original poster
Cocolapew · 16/06/2021 10:36

I think both are them have lost their hearing a bit but not an awful lot, my mum is worse. Dad gets confused by medical stuff more than anything, probably because he's never really had any dealings with it.
We have been trying to get him to eat high calorie foods but he hasn't wanted anything.
The fruit loaf I took is from a local bakery and is very rich, he usually would put butter on it. So hopefully he'll eat a bit more of that.
He did get up yesterday and went into the living room which is progress.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolapew · 16/06/2021 18:53

I bundled him off to A and E and they have kept him in. The only thing showing up atm is a shadow on his lung Sad He'll need a scan to investigate further.
He's hooked up to his drips and is waiting for a bed to become free, so hopefully won't be waiting too long.

OP posts:
Hax · 16/06/2021 18:57

@Cocolapew glad he's getting investigated, though it's all bloody difficult when you can't be thete to ask questions.How does your mum feel? If this is what you fear things might move quickly, I wonder if she is prepared.

Calyx72 · 16/06/2021 19:00
Thanks

Well done for taking him to A&E and it's good he is being investigated. Just wanted to say it's lovely he has a great family member like you. Please do something nice for yourself x

Stealthynamechange · 16/06/2021 19:15

Well done for taking him to A&E that's a hard thing to do, be kind to yourself xx

Curlysusie · 16/06/2021 19:20

Glad they admitted him. Hope he's ok xx

Original poster
Cocolapew · 16/06/2021 19:25

Thank you everyone Flowers. Mum is ok, we actually expected stomach or bowel cancer so this was a surprise.
DD1 stayed with mum this afternoon and they went for a little walk to Specsavers.
DD2 came with me to help me get dad into the hospital and then sat in the car for over 4 hours!

OP posts:
threeteenstaximum · 20/06/2021 21:50

Have hospital done any tests

I'm so glad that he has been admitted as it isn't great when someone loses their appetite and stops eating

Please update us if you feel able to. There's many reasons someone may lose their appetite, snd it's really important to get them medically checked out x

Original poster
Cocolapew · 21/06/2021 15:24

We found out today that Dad has metastatic cancer, it's in his lungs, liver and bone. They don't know where the primary source is yet.

OP posts:
Hax · 21/06/2021 16:07

I'm so sorry Cocolapew.
This happened with my father, they never identified the primary source and in fact stopped looking once the extent was found.
It sounds like it will be palliative care, lots to take in, not least for him and your mum. Be prepared for this to move quickly Sad