When should we think about future proofing our housing

[doodleZ1]

Just been wondering recently through issues with father-in-law and getting older ourselves. I know there is no magic age, and it will depend on lots of variables but what age approx should people start to make plans to move house or future proof their own house. To avoid being in a house that is no longer suitable and requires too much effort by relatives to help you stay there. My father-in-law is nearly 88. He can't cope in his house with an upstairs toilet and too many stairs to his front door. We wanted him to move a few years ago but it's too late now, suddenly he has severe health issues and there's no way he can move now. He's too old, too tired. So my question is when should we all think about moving if the house doesn't fit older age? We can't wait till it's too late.

Id agree with Covoid about 70s. I'll retire at 67 so that gives me 3 years to make a decision - that's about right for me...

My experience in my family is that at 74 everyone looks in terrific shape and by 84 or thereabouts everyone looks pretty crumbly and fragile around the edges (though often still functioning perfectly fine), and you need to have your ducks in a row early in that 74-84 decade. I would also say that this should be so that you DON'T have to have some huge upheaval - rather just considering small changes that can make a big impact like the extensions and wet rooms people are doing - though if you do need to make a big upheaval so that the end of driving isn't a big deal, you're still young enough to do it in your 70s.

Really interesting question - one i've broached with my parents who have just turned 70. My mum mentioned their plan is to move to a smaller house once the other one pops their clogs - I've pointed out that she might not want to move as a recently bereaved person, who might be a lot less robust.

There is a new housing development near us built by a charity. They're all eco-friendly, and future-proof - the idea is that they've very easy to adapt. They have been built so that you can add in a lift shaft, or a new downstairs bathroom very easily.

I think about 70 too. This is currently an issue my parents - there's an age gap, and the older one has wanted to move from their three bed house with a large garden to a more suitable flat / bungalow for years. The younger parent (who is now nearly 70 themselves) finally came around to the idea early last year, but Covid meant they then couldn't move, and now the increasingly apparently dementia of the older one means they might be stuck as I'm not sure how they'd cope with a change. Definitely something I'd intend to look at sooner rather than later once retired, but I can see how it is easy to say that now, and harder to actually implement in practice...

There is a new housing development near us built by a charity. They're all eco-friendly, and future-proof - the idea is that they've very easy to adapt. They have been built so that you can add in a lift shaft, or a new downstairs bathroom very easily
That sounds interesting and I feel speaks to the underlying problem, ie that our housing stock does not reflect the needs of the population!

Interstingly me and DH have had this chat, just nursed MIL in a totally unsuitable house where she was living in the living room, using a commode and only has washes in the sink....no thanks not for me.
We will have paid off the mortgage when we are 60 & 62, at this point I want to move, ideally to a bungalow.

So it really is moving before we need to. But when, 5 or 10 years before? Is 70 too late?

MiL & step FiL, step MiL & FiL are late 70s, looking after their gardens keeps them fit and enthusiastic about life, especially during lockdown - they all would have struggled without their gardens to tend.

Yes indeed, my DPs would have much lower quality of life without their gardens.

I'm a couple of years off 60 and there's no way I'm moving out of my lovely Edwardian house for a bloody bungalow anytime soon!

YANBU but with high house prices it might not work.

@The3rdMrsdeWinter

I'm a couple of years off 60 and there's no way I'm moving out of my lovely Edwardian house for a bloody bungalow anytime soon!

Too right! Even at 70, the average remaining life expectancy for a woman is something like 18 years. That life is for living, not for disposing of all the stuff that's important to you so you can fit into a retirement flat, taking nice little walks to the nearest coffee shop and waiting to go into a care hoe.

so that the end of driving isn't a big deal If you live outside London, end of driving is always going to be a big deal.

I gave up driving when I was in my mid 40s, it's a great way to get out of going anywhere you don't want to go to etc

It's also a great way of not being able to get anywhere that you do want to go.

No taxi will want to take you in your muddy walking gear, or with a big sack of dripping caving gear, or hitch your canoe on to his roof. And before you say "how many people in their 70s go caving or kayaking?" the answer is - lots. Drives me mad when people assume that all a retired person needs to do is get to the shops or the GP.

"life is for living, not for disposing of all the stuff that's important to you so you can fit into a retirement flat" - I can see where you are coming from with that statement, but at 53 I already feel weighed down by a house full of stuff I have accumulated over the years but really no longer need, and very little of it could in truth be described as important to me.

I am planning to downsize to somewhere about half the size of my current house within a couple of years (not a retirement flat - probably a small terraced house, which should do me until I hit my 70s or my knees give out), and I think getting rid of a lot of stuff will make me feel freer and lighter.

My 80-something parents live in a huge house stuffed with books, antiques, pictures, paperwork and all sorts of junk that 'might come in handy'. Very little of it is really important to them or 'brings them joy', in the Kondo sense; I am not sure they even really 'see' it any more. In reality they are trapped by it: the prospect of having to sort through it is one reason they have never moved. Their mobility is so limited that they only use a few of the rooms in the house anyway. Instead all the stuff will be left to me to deal with when they die...

@exexpat I guess we're all different and there's no firm rule "Between the ages of 70 and 75 you need to move into a retirement flat"or "as soon as the children leave home for good you must move to a 2-bed terrace with and "easy to maintain" garden"

My context is I spend a lot of time with active outdoor types, mainly aged 65-85, and no-one is showing any sign of moving to a smaller property. One couple, late 70s, in fact used an inheritance to upsize, to a property with a huge garden which, having renovated the house, they proceeded to upgrade and they now open to the public. And the fact that I still have my Dad means DSs don't look on us as the decrepit generation.

My DPs in their late 70s/early 80s are also active in the Ramblers. They need a plan, not an immediate downsize.

My DPs moved at 65/66 so they could spend their retirement closer to grandchildren. Its given them lots of new experiences and they have so far thoroughly enjoyed it. Previously they were 6+ hours away from grandchildren. Its been wonderful seeing the bond develop with their grandchildren close by.

How many active cavers need to stop driving?

@PermanentTemporary

How many active cavers need to stop driving?

Good point. Most of the things that stop you driving probably stop you doing rope work that your life depends on. But I was carrying on from miasicariata’s post where she said talked about giving up driving in her 40s

I do get that relinquishing driving a is not a good strategy for many, however....I dont want to go caving!
I want to do yoga, go to the gym and go running, all of these things I can reach easily and quickly on foot. Not driving is a way of stopping others having expectations of me which steal time away from my person interests.

I'm going to speak from bitter experience here, and say that anyone in early retirement should make sure any structural works are done sooner rather than later.

Think the roof or rewiring is going to need sorting in the next 10 years? Get it sorted now, while you still can. You don't want to end up in a situation where structural works desperately need doing but you're too frail to get it sorted yourself / get to the stage of life where having workmen in the home seems like an insurmountable hurdle, even with someone else organising it.

The best thing my grandparents ever did was move in their late 60s to a retirement flat in the centre of a small town. All the amenities on their doorstep, very accessible plus back then they had the energy to build up a social life. They must have got rid of 75% of their stuff too.

I am pretty sure neither my mum or my PILs will be so prudent . My mum is a bit of a hoarder too so it'll be a nightmare.

Within two or theee PIL have suddenly become very frail. The mental and physical change is astounding.Despite DH advice FIL said 'they'll take me out of here in a box' referring to their too big house they increasingly can't manage. Great. Good for you.
The first thing he did when MIL fell badly and broke her leg was ring him an hour away.