When should we think about future proofing our housing

[doodleZ1]

Just been wondering recently through issues with father-in-law and getting older ourselves. I know there is no magic age, and it will depend on lots of variables but what age approx should people start to make plans to move house or future proof their own house. To avoid being in a house that is no longer suitable and requires too much effort by relatives to help you stay there. My father-in-law is nearly 88. He can't cope in his house with an upstairs toilet and too many stairs to his front door. We wanted him to move a few years ago but it's too late now, suddenly he has severe health issues and there's no way he can move now. He's too old, too tired. So my question is when should we all think about moving if the house doesn't fit older age? We can't wait till it's too late.

All housing should be accessible. Anybody can experience disability at any age. And most of us want a home, not a series of locations.

Disabled and elderly people should not be forced to seek out a tiny pool of accessible housing or spend tens of thousands of pounds adapting shit housing.

New housing should all be accessible. Older stock should be replaced or adapted at society's cost.

We are a community and disabled and elderly people are part of that community. I want to live in a society with appropriate housing for everyone. We all should.

Scrap the “forever home” fairy tale. Encourage people to move more often in their lives.
I move every few years anyway.

We had never considered a bungalow before we bought one in our 50s. We only bought it as we wanted to be detached, and a 2 bed bungalow was cheaper than a 3 bed house.

We've now extended it so we have it exactly how we want, and we know we never have to move again.

My Dh is pushing hard for us to move now. Late 50s. I’m absolutely both gutted at the thought of moving, but totally see his very valid reasons for doing so now.
Sorry but I don’t know the answer as to when, is the right time to move/plan for the ‘possible future. Fwiw, a friend moved and planned in her late 40s, whilst our neighbours have suddenly decided to act in their late 60s. The latter haven’t told their family - yet their plan is partially dependant on family agreeing.

I often wonder this as I work for the NHS in the community and often have older patients. Some of them are still in the big family house which is completely unsuited to their life now.

I would say mid 70s latest to move to a retirement flat or bungalow.

Far better to move to somewhere fresh, well maintained and manageable than languish in a huge detached house with an overgrown garden.

My dm moved from a large house to a flat (not retirement etc) aged 86 on her own!

We bought a bungalow in our 30s to help provide for our older age.Now mid 60s have acess to all areas and a wide bathroom. Upstairs converted if we need it. It's our forever home.

The latter haven’t told their family - yet their plan is partially dependant on family agreeing
Oh yes the old 'fait accompli' manoeuvre🙄

MIL moved to a bungalow in her early 60s, she’s in the very early stages of MS and wanted to protect herself and her future. She’s gone from a 3 bed house to a 1 bed bungalow and it’s took a bit of adjustment.

DH and I are early 40s, we’ve just built a big extension on our house and we added a downstairs shower room, we also now have 3 reception rooms which would allow downstairs living if the need ever arises. We live close to local shops and we have a bus stop at the end of our street, so we don’t ever intend to move again.

I certainly think it should be illegal to build flats in this country without a lift - one that can accommodate more than a 7-stone contortionist. It's incredible to me that so many walk-up flats have been built really recently.

70s I'd say
Based on a lot of professional experience

Not many people are disabled or have significant care needs in their 60s
Many many people are and do in their 80s
You really cannot bet on being in good health in your 80s. It's the exception not the rule.
Therefore QED 70s is the age to make plans

Now that I am getting older and my dad is in his 70s though it does still seem young but really it isn't.
My blooming mother in law moved to a 3 storey town house that needed significant work doing aged 70. I tried to tell her this was a crazy plan but she will not listen. She had already broken her wrist a few years back and her spine looks very much like she has osteoporosis. I confidently predict that those stairs are soon going to seem like a bad idea.

We moved to a 1500 square feet flat with lift in our late 50s and early 60s. We had it done up to our taste, bought new furniture and d signed it to be easy to maintain with safe surfaces and useful spaces. A study with tons of cupboards and a Murphy bed for example.

This decision was the direct result of both sets of parents living in unsuitable homes towards the ends of their lives. Mine had a huge amount of stuff too. It was an effort for us to downsize but we are glad we did it while it was fun and exciting rather than a stressful necessity.

I know a lady living in a large detached house with a garden. The house is 2.5 miles from the nearest shop and further again from the nearest town.

A few years ago a family member suggested to her to sell the house and buy something smaller in town. They were thinking a smaller house with lower bills, smaller garden and less maintenance and near shops, doctor ect.
She was not happy to hear this suggestion.

This lady is now in her late 70s. This lady has sight issues meaning she might not get another driving licence. She has some health issues and is showing signs of cognitive decline.
If she had moved a few years ago it would have been far better for her and her adult children going forward.

We're not moving as the area is excellent for transport links, ease of shops, etc but the house is a small (ish) cottage with very steep stairs. I am due to retire next year and we have spent the last few years ensuring all major work needed is done - new windows, new roof, downstairs loo etc. The last job is to move the kitchen into the (large) living room making a kitchen/diner/living room and then turning the kitchen into a snug which could be a bedroom in the future if needed.

We were planning to do it pretty early. I'd rather have my active years in a place I can stay in, than be waiting and waiting for the point I'm forced out.

The house we are in now has room for a downstairs bedroom, it has a loo (but it's outside - so we'd cover that part over and add a shower I think).
It would be silly if we were both unable to use the stairs but the room in question has French windows and when we moved in I pointed out if one of us had a long term illness it would be a good sick room.
My DF is in a huge rambling house (Georgian terrace) which we grew up in. He could choose between living in the basement (with a shower but no kitchen) or moving as it wouldn't take a stair lift. My DGF moved into a ground floor flat with a garden in his early 90s so we might persuade my DF at that age (he's early 80s)
My DM is in a similar but much smaller house and no downstairs loo, and she is starting to suffer from arthritis, she's late 70s. I'm going to have this very conversation with her when she visits later in the month. She could of course get ill and need care at any time - even if it's temporary e.g. treatable cancer.

Having seen PIL sit on hundreds of thousands of pounds yet stagger round their too big house and refuse to plan until MIL fell and badly broke her femur, I would say early 70's as a guide.
Pride and refusal to spend any money will result in many elderly in and out of A&E like a revolving door. Have seen it for years as a district nurse.
Everyone is entitled to make poor choices, as long as they don't then expect family to become their taxi service, cleaner, gardener or go-to in avoidable crisis.

DH has just had this chat with MIL. She’s just turned 60, is on her own and living in a lovely (fully paid off) house. 4bed, 2 bath but set over 3 floors with no capacity for toilet or bedroom on the ground floor. It also has a large flight of around 20 steps leading up to her front door and a smaller flight out the back to get into her back garden. Garage is detached from the house and located opposite her house. Family all live locally so having space for people to come and stay isn’t a consideration really.

She’s in great health so obviously has no dire need to move but it’s very clear that if any mobility issues did arise then her house would be completely unsuitable. She has a small amount of savings, will only get state pension, works part time but brings in slightly less than her outgoings each month so every month she’s chipping into her savings slightly just for living expenses etc. Keeps talking about having to look for other work but absolutely loves her job so is putting it off.

To me it’s madness (obviously nothing to do with me so I’m not interfering) 😓 she could downsize now to a 1 or 2 bed (no need to move area at all - town is full of bungalows and far more accessible properties), free up a substantial chunk of money plus reduce her outgoings, stay in the job she loves and not be chipping away at the savings that she hopes to use to travel during retirement. I think this would put her in a better physical and financial position moving towards retirement but when DH touched on the subject with her she shot it straight down as “she has no health issues and nobody downsizes in their 60s” 🙄🙄

For me, I’d always want to move before I had a dire need to. I much prefer the thought of being able to sell up and find something else that I love rather than being forced to settle quickly on something that just fits my needs because there’s a rush to move. Obviously that could happen to anyone at any age unexpectedly but if we’re just talking for old age then I’d probably move around 60 provided there’s no issues arising before then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree about changes just before you can't do without them.

If someone does not want to move, then the key adaptations are likely to be stair lift, work-arounds for any other steps, and any required works to bathrooms (turning it into a wet room or getting a bath hoist for example) and if that's all upstairs, then get a commode for downstairs

We were thinking we'd have to put a shower into DMum's utility room (she has a downstairs loo, but no space for a bathroom) but the stair lift meant we didn't need to.

She did once think about moving, but found the whole idea too daunting. She wants to stay in her home, and changes have made it possible.

She also went to the Falls Clinic for a while (NHS physio led exercise and general keep-in-touch class for the frail) and they arranged for an OT visit to her home which helped with getting the right adaptations (size and style of changes to deal with front door step, plus recommendations for grab handles which would never have occurred to us). In our area, services are free to the over 80s

My DH is early 60s. We have DCs 6 and 9. We aren't moving into a retirement bungalow!

We bought our house when I was 47 and DH 47. It was bought as a forever house. We can easily move downstairs into a lovely big bedroom room with a walk in shower and loo and effectively shut off the upstairs. There is a bus stop 2 mins walk away that stops right outside a large Tesco and a village shop, pub and hairdresser all within a 20 minute walk if needed.

My only concern is our large garden, but we have the funds to pay someone to cut the grass if needed.

Decision was made when trying to deal with the fallout of a mil who would NOT move from her unsuitable home until the only thing left as an option was assisted living - and by then she was too ill to enjoy it.

I'm early 40's. I'm extending our house now and putting a large shower room downstairs. Old age creeps up on you I think. Better to have everything and put in in a way that actually works rather than an emergency commode In the corner. It also means that as my inlaws age a d come and stay with us we have suitable facilities for them and my sons can use it when they get back
From football.

We are doing it now (aged 49 & 50) but mainly as our dds are disabled and one needs things like a downstairs shower. She already has the bedroom. We plan to move our front door to create a wheelchair accessible doorway, and enlarge doorways in the house for the same reason. The whole downstairs through to and including the outside will be step free. I can't imagine our ed will be living with us forever, so we will be able to take over her room if we need it.
After seeing what my fil was like towards the end, we have no wish to put our kids through that.

I tried to tell her this was a crazy plan but she will not listen
I hope you realise that her 'actual plan' is for you to feel obligated to help her with her 'crazy plan'

If she had moved a few years ago it would have been far better for her and her adult children going forward
Again, she knows that staying in the unsuitable accommodation mean for her children will feel obligated to step in and help, this is what is driving her refusal to move into suitable accommodation