How often do you ring your elderly parents?

[Chunkymenrock]

Every Sunday I ring my Mum and Dad for a good chat, so once a week. We also might email once or twice a week too. They are elderly but healthy and perfectly self sufficient. I'm just curious how often people ring theirs, after having a conversation with a 68 year old, whose 3 children each ring her 3 times a day!

About twice a week and I do visit about once a fortnight, they are quite local and late 80s/90 so I count that as supporting the vulnerable before the Covid Police report me.

It is difficult when you disagree politically, my DM is very 'feisty' and loves a political argument debate but after hearing the same points for so many years it is obvious that we are never going to agree so I try to listen politely or change the subject. I would love her to talk about the next door neighbour's cat's operation or similar rather than having to discuss Brexit etc!

I don't really have a set routine but I speak to my parents probably 2-3 times a week. We WhatsApp daily though.

I phone mine every day, more or less. I usually do it while I’m out for a walk and speak for around 30-45 mins. I don’t FaceTime much though.

I phone or FaceTime nearly every day at the moment as although they have each other they really look forwards to other interaction to break up the monotony. They are 81 and 77. If I haven’t spoken to them I will still exchange some texts. Pre Covid I would visit or phone around twice a week.
DH’s mum is 91. He is her support bubble as she still lives independently but needs a bit of help. He sees or calls her every day.

My mum (74) and I message a lot, ust chatting - almost always daily, usually more than once. I very rarely message my dad.
We rarely chat on the phone, pre-covid I'd sometimes call on the way home.
We (normally) see them every Sunday for a meal.

I have noticed lately that whenever I call, no matter what time of day, my mum and dad are in the middle of something vitally important (doing a food order, putting some fat balls out for birds, rearranging the photo drawer) and desperately inconvenienced by my calling then- but go on to complain endlessly about how they have nothing at all to do and are very bored and quite disappointed by how so few relatives are calling them. I spoke to my brother and a cousin who reported the same- any phone call is greeted as if it is interrupting essential activity and they are doing you a favour by answering it, but they report having nothing at all to do and are miffed at a lack of phone calls. It's odd.

About twice a week actual phone calls, but WhatsApp, texts, emails most days. DM is 80 this year and widowed, she moved 3 streets away Jan 2020 and with the year we have had it's the best thing we could have done as we can see her (support bubble) as often as we wish

Pre-Covid it was a phonecall a couple of times a week.

Since lockdown started, we have Skyped for 30-45 mins every day, missing probably only three times over the year. It has now settled to 7.30 every night unless my brother is joining too at weekends.

I don't see how I could ever stop that routine now, and it is not something I would ever have wanted to get tied down to if it hadn't been for the pandemic.

Daily and my parents are the same age. I am 27.

We share a bottle of wine (or two) once a week.

You will miss them once they are gone

Once every 2-3 weeks plus texts in between. It’d be more but I’m not convinced they like me/ would want to talk.

Every day, without fail.

Wait are you saying 68 is elderly? I'm almost 60 and my kids are still in school!!
When my parents were alive and lived locally they came every week for Sunday lunch and I'd go visit another day, phone calls were generally just arranging that. When they were in their Spanish home we'd call once a week (and go visit there once a year). They were very active and social up until my dads death at 79 (my mother was 83), then I tried to see my mother more often. She moved abroad near other family and I'd call her about once or twice a week after that, and visit once a year (and she'd come visit once a year too).

Dad, 83 , every other week , or every week at times, for about 15 to 20 minutes.

He never phones me - this annoys me, although he's always been like that and I should be used to it.

Every couple of days. Usually me phoning them but sometimes the other way around.

I sometimes phone every day, but they seem to find it difficult if it happens too often although we do enjoy a chat. I know, I know, it's very hard to explain. They are in their mid eighties and increasingly frail. Everything is exhausting to them and they are paranoid about showing me their frailties and vulnerabilities, so it is all a bit of a compromise really.

Frustrating and worrying really, as their landline is out of order, they need a new mobile and we had to ask a neighbour to check on them.

Wait are you saying 68 is elderly? I'm almost 60 and my kids are still in school!! "Elderly" varies from person to person. I know potholers and cave explorers who are 68 or older. It also depends whether you are still looking after parents in their 90s.

Every 2/3 days. We WhatsApp regularly too. DM is 73 but is widowed. I try not to have a regular phone time as it would set a difficult precedent that would be hard to break. DM phoned her Mil every evening at 6 for years which I so don't want to get into. I'm very supportive but I have a young DC and very busy Dh and need to find a balance.

I am going to sadly buck the trend and say once a month at most, she’s 80. Superficially we get on but there’s a back story, you don’t get to ditch me and forget I exist because you had another family for 13 years without consequences.
My aunt (mother’s SIL) however is fab and now she has a mobile we FaceTime a couple of times a week

Every day but my Mum is only 75 and despite major physical health problems she is definitely not elderly!

@TheUnquestionedAnswer

Every day, without fail.

Same here

Regret having done that.