Falling out over Bojo and general Tory incompetence

[Peterbear]

I've always got on so well with my mum who is late 70's despite having very different political views - which we never discuss.
Today however, I found myself having a huge rant about the Tories,boris and Brexit and venting my frustration re missed opportunities re covid ( I.e. earlier, harder lock down , properly funded NHS etc etc).
My mum defended the gvmt every step (her life hasn't really changed much - ardent daily mail reader) - my life has changed massively and in my view unnecessarily partly due to government incompetence.
We had an awful and uncomfortable conversation/row and I wish I'd kept my views to myself (which I normally do to avoid arguments)I'm just so bloody angry though.
Feel sad and awful now but don't feel sorry for my long held views. Should I apologise? Do others have similar fall outs? How do you reconcile such huge differences? Am really upset about this.

I fell out with my mum many years ago on a flight back from Yugoslavia (yes really, that long ago) as she was always saying ‘well they say..’. Who the bloody hell are ‘they’ mum?

She’s been dead 18 years ....

@EngineeringFix

Oh it's annoying but I no longer talk politics with my mum.

I love her but not her political views. It's been said when we were both younger, she's now in her eighties and I just try and find common ground.

I agree and have literally held my tongue/changed the subject for about 30 years now. Today though it all just came out....I think my patience/resilience is fairly low after 9 months of this.

@Schehezarade

Gawd I hope the next gov is Labour - just to get the lefties to stop ranting if nothing else.

😮 wow....just wow. When did mumsnet get so harsh/right wing?

It takes two to have a row, so don’t be too hard on yourself. The lockdown seems to be trying everyone’s patience this time around. I have relatives with similar views. I never raise controversial topics with them but if they insist on doing so, I keep it calm and factual as I can. For example, when they say how great it is that Brexit had happened, I remind them about their cherished grandchild’s disrupted plans to attend university in Europe.

@rookiemere

I fundamentally disagree with most of my DPs political beliefs - pro Brexit, Boris and even worse Trump. DF also makes racist remarks. But they love me and are in their 80s.

I've learned to do something called bean dipping, so if they start discussing a topic I don't want to I just reply with something completely non related. Do the same if they try again.

I had to bite my tongue when DM said that we would have done the same as Dominic Cummings if we needed childcare. Oh righto we'd have broken a national lockdown and travelled round the country with coronavirus then would we - great she thinks so much of us. Had to bite my tongue on that one as first time I saw her since the first lockdown.

I guess it's slightly easier for me in that mine are in their 80s so every time I see them I worry that it might be the last time and I don't want to argue over something where neither of us will change our minds.

Sounds similar I need to re- find my tolerance , bite my tongue and try some ‘bean dipping’😃✌️

You’re not exactly doing yourself any favours by being rude to everyone who disagrees with your viewpoint or has a slightly alternative view.

If you’re always this objectionable it’s not hard to see why you fall out with people.

They say never discuss religion or politics for very good reasons....

You go to your nearest mirror. Look at yourself in it. And repeat

I am an adult and some adults have different views to me. That is ok

In all serious though, your responses on here say a lot about you. And not in a good way

@AlternativePerspective

You’re not exactly doing yourself any favours by being rude to everyone who disagrees with your viewpoint or has a slightly alternative view.

If you’re always this objectionable it’s not hard to see why you fall out with people.

They say never discuss religion or politics for very good reasons....

Why would you spend your evening making negative comments about a post when someone is already feeling a bit shite? Surely if you have an ounce of empathy you say something supportive - if not wouldn’t you just think meh that’s bollocks and keep scrolling..??? Guess it depends upon boredom levels. P.s. not fallen out with people - one person P.p.s religion and politics absolutely should be discussed (but not necessarily with ageing mother) or else nothing gets done/changes does it? Thanks for your inpu.

@lcdododo

You go to your nearest mirror. Look at yourself in it. And repeat

I am an adult and some adults have different views to me. That is ok

In all serious though, your responses on here say a lot about you. And not in a good way

Please see previous response and maybe find something constructive to do this eve/scroll on by✌️😘

Why did you post on here if you don't want people's views? So you got angry with your elderly mother as you both have different views and now you are getting angry with posters if they don't agree with you.

Of course you are entitled to your views. As is your Mum. As are we. I suggest you apologise to her and step away from this thread as it clearly isn't going your way.

I think a lot of the nasty replies you are getting are from Tory voters / Daily Mail readers

Are you new on here?

Seriously, you need to unclench. You have your views. It doesn’t make them right.

@SatishTheCat

I think a lot of the nasty replies you are getting are from Tory voters / Daily Mail readers

Ha ha ha

@SatishTheCat

I think a lot of the nasty replies you are getting are from Tory voters / Daily Mail readers

Yes indeed. I seem to have touched a nerve with the Tory/daily mail readers. Logging off now - will stay off politics with mum in future and remember how right wing mumsnet has become before posting .

Thanks for all those with objective/positive responses.
Over n out.

I think a lot of the nasty replies you are getting are from Tory voters / Daily Mail readers the only nasty replies on here have been from the OP.

Fact is discussing religion or politics will always have the potential to be divisive. And if you can’t take the criticism for your views (you as in one in general) then you shouldn’t be giving out criticisms to others. It’s a two way street.

Byeee

Sorry to hear it. My dad thinks somehow that the gov are “doing the best they can with the science they’ve been given” at the same time as believing it’s a biological weapon.

Coming to think of it, I’m more likely to believe it’s a secret weapon than the gov are following any timely science.

OP, you literally asked for opinions but are dismissing any that don't match your views

She asked for opinions on how to proceed with her mother - not on Tory incompetence.
No one really believes Boris is handling the pandemic well, do they? I mean, that's not possible.

@Helmetbymidnight

She asked for opinions on how to proceed with her mother - not on Tory incompetence. No one really believes Boris is handling the pandemic well, do they? I mean, that's not possible.

Erm none of my response had anything to do with being a Tory and yet OP still wasnt happy

Has this thread been moved over here from AIBU? It's not the usual "elderly parents" discussion.

OP, for what it's worth I have the same issue with my own parents and my brother and his wife for that matter. I bite my tongue whenever we get together as healthy debate is just not possible. I can count a couple of times when I have snapped and that has predominantly been when I've ganged up on by them at the dinner table. I totally get where you are coming from and it's not even about left vs right. It's about their total tunnell vision and I guess lack of awareness for anyone in a slightly different situation to themselves. I think like previous posters have said, there isnt much you can do. Just change the subject. But I totally feel your pain.

I let people have their views and I have mine. What makes you think you are the only person entitled to political views? Sheer arrogance I’m afraid to say. Let your mother have her views. If you want to create a scene and fall out with her your because she doesn’t agree with you, you must be living in a very small goldfish bowl...

“Right wing” if you don’t agree with OP - who hasn’t even got a political argument, just propagandising - hope she’s jogged on to AIBU or a “safe space” where no one can disagree with her .

@StartJump

“Right wing” if you don’t agree with OP - who hasn’t even got a political argument, just propagandising - hope she’s jogged on to AIBU or a “safe space” where no one can disagree with her .

Perfect response!