Urgent advice needed. Elderly parent being dumped at Airport!

[Vickibristol123]

In advance I thank anyone who has taken the time to read this and maybe offer any help or advice.
My dear Friend (I will call him John) has an elderly mother who has been living in Portugal for the last 15 years. She moved over there to care for her Uncle who is also in Portugal.
The Uncle is physically unwell and she has been living and caring for him all this time.The Uncle has a daughter that has now contacted John to say that Mother is not coping and has gone rapidly down hill with episodes of mental illness and has now been diagnosed with Dementia.
The daughter has told him that she is bringing them both back to the UK on the first available flight and from then on she is John’s problem.
I have known John for many years and I don’t know quite how to put this but....he’s not capable of looking after her physically or mentally, he can barely look after himself, lives in a house with no heating etc and has a lot of social/mental health problems himself.
I’m at a loss how to help him, potentially there is a confused little old lady landing here with nowhere to go and no one capable of caring for her.
I add also that she does have finances so is able to pay for care if needed.
How on earth do I help him?
Any advice would be amazing!

What a heartbreaking situation, poor woman being put on a plane alone

John's Mum, or John, will need to get her registered with a GP ASAP. They can assess medical needs. Then adult social services referral ? Is it worth John contacting a nursing home before she arrives? Age UK might be a good resource, definitely worth contacting them!

Contact social services asap with the date and time of arrival.

Is she coming into a big airport? I know Heathrow etc have their own in house social work team. Might be worth trying to contact them so they can meet her at the arrivals?

I've actually dealt with a very similar situation.

First make a call to social services advising of day/time/flight that they will be on, you need to contact both the local authority the airport is in and also the local authority where she last lived before she moved to Portugal.

Secondly try and establish whether she still has recourse to UK public funds (NHS housing etc). If she doesn't things could be tricky regarding funding.

Thirdly let the airport know that there will be a vulnerable passenger travelling through. They can ensure that they are navigated through passport control etc safely to family/ which ever local authority has agreed to accommodate her.

When this happened in our team we had a respite bed in a residential care home ready to accept the person into after they got off the flight. The assessment was completed on the journey from the airport to the care home. The Care Act places a duty on local authorities to provide emergency assistance in these situations.

There's a helpful fact sheet from Age Uk on just this topic... it's almost like they are expecting an influx of returners for some reason soon

www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs25_returning_from_abroad_fcs.pdf

@madcatladyforever

Contact social services asap with the date and time of arrival.

I agree this is a safeguarding issue surely?

Does the daughter not realise that John has no legal duty of care towards his mother?

You might find this helpful:
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs25_returning_from_abroad_fcs.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwidr92wzc3tAhUSGuwKHWhwASMQFjABegQIGhAF&usg=AOvVaw1lqy-perkaq1NFW-BEUQ-C" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs25_returning_from_abroad_fcs.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwidr92wzc3tAhUSGuwKHWhwASMQFjABegQIGhAF&usg=AOvVaw1lqy-perkaq1NFW-BEUQ-C

Sorry - just saw hatgirl has already posted it!

I'd look into dementia care in Portugal. A family friend became ill whilst living out there and the state provided care was excellent. Contact one of the expat groups out there, they'll know how to get her assessed.

Maybe not a legal duty but a moral one surely?
Maybe he wants to help his mum. A lot of people would. In fact it would be my default assumption that most people would unless the person was abusive or something and people from a Mediterranean cultural background would think that looking after elders is a moral duty even more so in my experience.

He maybe just needs some pointers and assistance rather than looking to abandon her wholesale

I doubt she'll be able to access care in Portugal unless she's legally resident though. It sounds like it would be difficult to assess that now.

John is barely able to care for himself, it would be morally wrong to expect him to also care for an elderly lady
Morality can be all argued back and forth but cannot be enforced
legal duties can be enforced

Please advise your friend John NOT to take her into his home, as he will then have the devil's own job getting her out again and into appropriate care, to get the support she needs.

He cannot be forced to be responsible for her care, and social services need to be involved immediately.

She'll be resident and registered with the health service in Portugal after 15 years and will be able to either go into the (excellent) public healthcare system or pay for private care which will be much cheaper than the UK. Can you contact the daughter?

Is the daughter bringing them both back to the UK and will be accompanying them. Are either of them even safe and fit for a flight. Would it be possible to contact the airline when she tells you what flight they are on or even the British Embassy in Portugal. Do they even have passports or are able to consent to flying. Does daughter have the legal right to put them on a flight
What will happen to the uncle if he returns to the UK.

@sarahlou63 Not necessarily. I know lots of people who never gained residency and now with Brexit it's all coming to light. Plus she may not speak Portuguese or have anyone there to advocate for her - very tough choice if she's on her own.

@Europilgrim - let's not assume she is or isn't. After 15 years she's probably better staying where she is. Very much doubt she's had zero interaction with the Portuguese health system since 2005.

I agree but it also sounds like she has noone in Portugal to help her or visit her. That sounds really sad.

So her Aunt took care of her father for all these years and now that aunt needs care she’s dumping her. Very sad.

If she has dementia and funds can’t she be put into a care home?

If John is not capable of looking after his mother then the kindest thing to do would be for John not to use his mother with him but to refuse so that she can get proper care. Sad as it maybe for John to be in this situation he needs now to do whats right by his mother.

Does johns mother have a British state pension?

Loads and loads of variables too complex to advise on

How bad is the dementia?
Does she have capacity to make her own decisions (in which case it's up to her where she lives)?
What are her care needs? Does she just need a few prompts from a care package or is she severely impaired and needs 24-7 supervision?
Does anyone have LPA for her if she does lack capacity?

Does she have recourse to public funds either in Portugal or in the U.K.?
Does she have private funds sufficient to fund care in either country and can she or anyone access them?
Does she have any property in the U.K.?

If she has no recourse to public funds in the U.K. due to not having been ordinarily resident here or paying tax then she will be on a very sticky wicket and the state will expect her family to pay for her or if they decline they will repatriate her to whence she came.

Don't believe it can't happen.
I have known quite a few cases where families brought elderly relatives to the U.K. and were astonished to find that the U.K. did not open the public purse to them when they dumped them in A&E

If he refuses it is not always the case that the British state will pick up even for their own citizens. If she has not been habitually resident then she will not have a right to be housed in the U.K. I'm afraid especially if it's deemed she voluntarily left Portugal and was housed there.

If she has no recourse to public funds in the U.K. due to not having been ordinarily resident here or paying tax then she will be on a very sticky wicket and the state will expect her family to pay for her or if they decline they will repatriate her to whence she came.

It's unclear what nationality the mother is (I would presume UK citizen ?).

In which case she can't (yet) be repatriated outside the UK.

Is John's mother's dementia so bad that she can't be spoken to & asked what she would like to do?

How can the Uncle's daughter just bring her home?

On whose "authority" is she acting?

"he’s not capable of looking after her physically or mentally,"

I just wanted to say that that is fine.

If she needs dementia care then it is probably better that she isn't looked after by him.

The daughter has told him that she is bringing them both back to the UK on the first available flight and from then on she is John’s problem.

What do you mean by “them both” OP? Was that a typo?

The mother must be known to the Portuguese health authorities if she has been diagnosed with dementia. Sounds like advice should be taken quickly as to options for her moving into care there.

I feel there is a bigger back story here for the uncle’s daughter to be so callous towards John and the Mother.